I share with you this classic mistake I once made in my speech which I remember the most. The occasion was a sermon I delivered in my Church.
It was a few weeks after the Tsunami had struck South East Asia in December 2004. So I started off talking about it. In the third sentence of my sermon I said, ” A few days later the . . .”
At that point my mind went blank. I was standing in the pulpit. It was a raised platform. Around three to four hundred people were looking intently at me. I had no sermon notes with me. I simply had to go on.
I knew I had to say a word starting with the letter M. But it was not coming to mind. So I substituted with another word starting with the letter M. And this is what I said:
“A few days later themagnanimity of the tragedy struck us.”
The moment I said that in my mind’s eye I could see blue and red lights flashing and hear alarm bells ringing. But I couldn’t stop to analyze. I had to go on.
The sermon went ahead well with a few more mistakes but not as classic as the one I just mentioned. Truly “magnanimity” was a disaster.
The magnitude (which was the word I should have said) of my mistake is clear because magnanimity means generosity!
Truly a classic mistake.
But the point is that it did not stop my journey as a public speaker. I continue to speak even now.
Therefore you need not fear mistakes. Let them come.
Often there is nothing much I can do to correct the mistakes made in speech as with the case of “magnanimity” of the tragedy.
So I understand that it simply shows me as a human being capable of making mistakes, maybe time and again.
But beyond that I see that I can trust him who hung on a cross and bled for me to integrate my life’s failures and mistakes into what he is shaping and moulding me to be.
So be encouraged today to speak. Mistakes need not prevent you from achieving the best that God has kept in store for you.
But for now, let me mention that even if you communicate with gestures, your face, and your eyes; you probably might be able to communicate many things. And the fact might be that without realizing it; you often use non-verbal communication quite successfully each day; don’t you?
In that sense, let me ask you, “Are words needed for communication at all?” The point is that a limited vocabulary is not a limiting factor if you can use the few words you know, creatively.
But do you really need big words to communicate? I don’t think so. Communicate using simple words.
“The sprout of a lone blade of green grass lifting up its head through the brown mud should fill us with hope,” is a simple sentence that can be easily understood. But what makes it colourful is the images that sentence brings to our mind. We almost see what is spoken; don’t we?
So, the argument, “I have only limited vocabulary,” is simply an excuse you have found to hide and escape from any speaking opportunity that presents itself before you. Instead try saying, “I love to communicate using very few words. And I do so by my creative choice of words.”
There you are! Ready to speak and make an impact with the limited vocabulary you have. What you have now is more than enough to paint a whole world of colours in the mind’s eye of your audience.
When angels compere, first and foremost, they compere only according to script. For angels deliver God’s message given them.
So also when you compere, your confidence will be high if you have scripted all that you plan to say.
II. Smile from your heart.
When angels compere, they communicate joy. I don’t know whether angels smile; but Jesus said about the little ones that “their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven.” So when children smile; it should be making angels smile too as there is always joy in heaven.
And when you compere, the best thing you can bring on stage is your smile. If you smile from your heart; it creates a joyous mood and anticipation in the audience.
III. Vary your voice and style.
When angels compere, they vary their style to suit their message. When they warn; they have a solemn tone communicating urgency. When they sound hope; their voice is one of comfort and strength.
The lesson is that you have to match your voice and style to suit the mood and occasion. You might invite, celebrate, thank, or simply communicate information. You cannot use the same style for all.
IV. Build rapport with the audience and put them at ease.
When angels compere, they put the audience at ease. Often they are seen and heard saying, “Do not be afraid.”
As a compere you should be able to build a rapport with the audience. Some insightful remark or a timely word that can address the dominant mood of the audience can be a great move.
V. Focus spotlight on others and highlight them.
When angels compere, they simply do whatever duties they have been assigned to. They are flames of fire and servants of God worshipping him. They do not call attention to themselves but to the message and to God who sent them.
As a compere, your role is not to be in the limelight but help the audience to focus on the person being celebrated. You are to be like a voice drawing attention to others.
VI. Create memories; not just compere speeches.
When angels compere, there is a flash of heaven meeting the earth for a brief moment in time. As a compere if you can create some precious memories; that will remain in hearts and minds for long.
In that sense, the world has ever since found hope in these words of the angel on Bethlehem’s first Christmas carolling night: “I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Saviour has been born to you. He is Christ the Lord.”
So, with angels, let us also respond saying, “Gloria in Excelsis Deo.”
VII. Be committed to excellence.
When angels compere, they do it with excellence. When they worship God saying “Holy, Holy, Holy,” or while responding to the summons of God their words and actions are enthusiastic. In other words, you’ll never see an angel perform below his best.
So being an emcee or compere is a commitment to excellence. It is an art that is mastered over time. Attention to detail and a burning desire to perform well will help you excel as a compere.
This is your 7 minute guide to effective public speaking. These are tips that will inspire you to speak without fear. You might not be able to master all these tips at once; but they will guide you one step at a time to craft and present speeches that will remain in the hearts and minds of your audience for a long time to come. If you prefer, you can read this on LinkedIn too.
Believe you can.
There is no way you can move ahead without this.
Believe in the power of mistakes.
You will certainly make a few.
Believe in people.
Do not worry on what they will think about you.
Believe in the value of criticism.
They hurt; but they make you better.
Look at people in the eye.
That will give your message a personal touch.
Start strong. Capture attention.
For it will set the tone for the entire speech.
Speak with confidence.
That will get reflected back to you.
Use gestures to make your words come alive.
They add to the meaning of what you say.
Use transitions. First, second, third are the simplest of them.
Even huge doors move on small hinges.
Pause when needed.
They impact. They also give you enough breathing space.
Vary your voice. They call it modulation.
It helps the audience listen to you without getting bored.
Bring in homely examples.
They stick because it’s each person’s experience.
A blue ball among a lot of yellow ones catches attention.
The contrast cannot be missed.
It was like ice cream melting in my mouth.
It makes people feel what you say.
Tell stories from your life or from elsewhere.
For there is not one who fails to listen to a well-told story.
Ask questions when you want to be persuasive.
“Why do you hide when you feel guilty?” Engages the listener immediately.
“Yesterday, when I was going home . . .” awakens curiosity.
Then the audience want to know more.
Beginning with, “My topic is,” kills.
Be creative with introductions.
Always respect people’s time.
If they look at their watches, you have lost them.
Do not just give speeches.
Instead create memories.
Enjoy speaking. There is no substitute for this.
It’s like a kid running out to play.
Use images: “Look at the birds of the air;”
“They do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.”
Effectively communicates “Do not worry,” Jesus commanded.
Know where you are going to.
People do not follow when the speaker is not clear about where he or she is leading them to.
Ask yourself whether you are going to inform, persuade, or entertain.
Then start preparing your speech.
Make use of animated dialogues. It will make your speech lively.
The Lion said: “You disturbed my sleep. I’m going to kill you.”
“No. Please don’t kill me. I might be able to help you someday,” said the trembling mouse.
“Ha, ha, ha. You little mouse; you’re going to help me!” the Lion laughed out loud.
Children and adults alike will love that verbal drama!
Don’t be predictable. Vary your approaches to speeches.
You cannot speak on Artificial Intelligence the same way you talk about Love.
Do not be apologetic like “I don’t have much knowledge on this subject.”
It will surely backfire.
Do not read from a slide if you’re presenting.
The audience can do that for themselves!
A sincere compliment to the audience is always welcome.
If you can refer to a few people in the audience by name; it truly connects you to them.
If you’re talking to children, be lively. Be on the move.
Be excited. Keep interacting. Never be on a teaching mode with them.
Go for short sentences most of the time.
Long sentences are difficult to manage.
Organize your speech content.
Your audience should get it like gift packets.
People should feel a design emerge when you speak.
So, build on a skeletal framework; put in flesh and then give it life.
It is solely God’s work; but with speeches you too can.
Making people laugh is a tricky business. If you have to tell them,
“That was a joke I told you now;” it is going to be a tragedy.
Think about your audience always.
Let your desire be to help them understand.
Without doubt; there will come days when your speech might not be good.
Do not get upset. Life is like that.
Always try to finish strong.
There is nothing more desirable than a memorable conclusion.
Remember to focus on one main thought; a takeaway
That will remain in their minds like a headline.
A preacher’s focus is on that cleansing fountain;
The blood of Jesus that washes away the sins of all who trust in him and believe.
Speeches that only address the intellect;
Are like dead logs piled one upon another.
Speeches that only touch the emotions;
Are like paper burning; it’ll flare up and die out quickly.
Some speakers focus on big sounding words;
But simple words that touch the heart make it home.
Sound bites are good; but style alone without substance
Will sound like a brass pot clanging as it falls down the stairs.
If you can make people see pictures in their minds, you win.
“Imagine, a traffic jam in the skies,” is one simple example.
Create a triad of points. It is seen to be effective.
“Books inform, inspire, and entertain,” is one way to state what you’ve got to say.
Asking a question which is in everyone’s mind and answering it is good.
“Why are most people in any group spectators than participants?” is one such.
Be alert for feedback. It need not always be verbal.
Even a slight movement of the eye can tell you what the audience is thinking.
Be fresh in your presentations. Do not rely on what succeeded last time.
Add new material. Bring in ideas of current relevance.
Never get discouraged. You might never know how your words inspire.
One word of hope from you might draw a man or woman from the pit of despair back to life.
This, I believe, is the highest calling of any speaker:
To present through words the gift of hope, light, and life!
Joy getting the better of fear is what public speaking can be to you. A right perspective about you the messenger, about the message, and about the audience will help you to get rid of stage fright and speak with joy.
One, joy is about the messenger. That is you. You might have thoughts of unworthiness and insignificance. Others might remind you of your smallness and that you are good for nothing. Let them do so. But when God values you as an individual and loves you;you can rise above the negative evaluation others make about you and deliver your speech with conviction, clarity, confidence, and impact.
Two, joy is about the message. You cannot speak well without a solid message. There is no style without substance and style can never compensate for lack of substance. So go for an all out preparation and get ready material for your speech. Let it be interesting, informative, and inspiring. In certain situations it has to be persuasive or entertaining. Unless you are convinced about what you speak, you cannot expect the audience to be moved by what you say.
Three, joy is about the audience. Many fear to look at the audience, be it big or small. Others worry about, “What will the audience think about me? You have to believe that the audience is for you and eager to listen to you. There will always be a few in any audience who are bored. Do not focus on that minority. And do not fear criticism. If you do anything worthwhile it will come. Remember, without the audience, there is no public speaking.
The messenger, the message, and the audience make public speaking happen. It can easily be, in the words of John Keats, a thing of beauty and joy for ever.
Capturing attention of the audience at the beginning is one of the keys to successful public speaking. It is best illustrated in this incident1 recorded in the Bible.
At one point in time and history in a desert a bush caught fire. But this burning bush did not burn up. Becoming curious Moses went near.
When God saw that he had Moses’ attention, he called out, “Moses! Moses!” “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.”
Moses shielded his face for he was afraid to look at God who had come down to speak with him in the flames of the burning bush.
God had an important message to communicate to Moses about himself as well as his plans for the exodus of his people from Egypt where they were in slavery.
But God wanted to capture the attention of Moses first. The burning bush thus became an attention-grabber.
For God was telling Moses that he had seen the misery of his people and have come down to rescue them.
It was a message of hope with a promise of deliverance. It was a message that God was coming down to set captives free with wonders, signs, and miracles.
But God chose to capture attention first before he would give his important message. The burning bush will never be forgotten.
Our introductions in speeches might never be this dramatic. Yet we cannot afford to forget that without capturing attention it is meaningless to try to communicate an important message.
And remember, especially when you are discouraged and downcast, God might be trying to capture your attention. Lift up your eyes, and look around; you might then be able to see one of God’s attention-grabbers for he truly cares for you!
Man is unique in God’s creation. He has been endowed with the ability to smile and to speak. With the passing of time he learned to live in social contexts. Thus speech became a social grace; a democratic necessity and a leadership requirement.
Now, with the happening of technology, man is compelled to speak with much more clarity than ever before. But technology has not substituted public speaking. Instead, it has multiplied opportunities. More visibility and wider coverage has compelled leaders of all walks of life to really refine and fine-tune their speaking skills.
New avenues of expression are not confined to the media alone. Within an office or video-conferencing across continents, briefing your team or informing the launch of a new product, or answering questions from the floor are all areas where skill in public speaking is called for. The expertize required is so demanding that people are trained to deliver the goods.
But it would be too simple an equation to be realistic. The chances are that your message gets forgotten not because it was bad; but because it was another good message among others. So it points out the need for consistent quality communication. Maybe the reason why advertisements are repeatedly used by companies to stay strong in the minds of its target audience. Likewise your message should get across consistently without quality loss.
Noise level in communication has gone high too. Even a casual stroller across the street is confronted with so many messages. In this competition where colours and words, reality and fantasy, sense and non-sense all vie for your attention; the mind becomes a battlefield. It is in this context that you have to learn to communicate effectively.
Perhaps the saddest thought could be that people are relying on technology as a substitute for public speaking. It can never be. The best messages are wrapped in the individuality of a messenger. When that element is sacrificed a message hangs in thin air. It does not create impact.
Therefore the individual with his public speaking skills will always be in demand. Even though technology might change, the art of public speaking will remain.
“Am I good enough?” The truth is you are not. If you wait till you get over this feel to speak, you will wait for ever. So find comfort in the thought you are good enough with all your faults, shortcomings, and imperfections.
One speaker expressed it like this. “In gully cricket sometimes an opening batsman gets out for a duck the very first ball. Then the opposing team allows him a second chance by starting the game afresh once more. This is similar to God’s grace.”
Often I have heard speakers say that God is a God of the second chance. Is that true? What if he stopped with that second chance given? I believe that God has given us multiple second chances.
The point is simple. It will take a bit longer than your life on earth to get all your problems solved. Therefore learn to speak in spite of all your difficulties, all your “I am not good enough” feel.
You can keep on waiting. Or you can take a bold step and start speaking. The choice is entirely yours. Positive Thinking
The fisherman prepares his nets and fishing rods. A cricket batsman prepares in the nets. The motto of the Scouts says “Be prepared.” Are you prepared?
What is the other extreme? You are invited to speak, told about a coming game or informed of an upcoming exam. What happens then. You start to postpone preparation. You meet with inertia according to Newton’s first law of motion, which states “an object either remains at rest or continues to move at a constant velocity, unless it is acted upon by an external force.”
Why do you yield to inertia? Simply because you hope that motivation will fall on you from the sky like the legendary apple that fell on Newton’s head. But you only experience gravity pulling you down.
So what can you do to overcome this?
First of all realize that there is nothing pleasant or romantic about preparation. It is simply honest hard work. You might have to do it alone. No one might see you do all the toil. No one will applaud you.
Secondly,look at people who perform well. They make it feel that it all happens easily. Realize that it is so only because of the long hours and perhaps months and years of preparation. There is no substitute for it.
Thirdly, the secret is to simply start. Inspiration will follow. Do not wait eternally for inspiration. Often it comes as a result of hard work and not by waiting for it. For example, if you have decided on a topic to speak just take a sheet of paper and write the topic. Note down one or two thoughts that comes. It need not be perfect and it need not be the best. That doesn’t matter. What matters is you got started.
Fourthly, try to cover as much ground during preparation. For example, you are to prepare for a speech. You might be using only forty to fifty percent of all that you prepared for the actual speech. But then what is the importance of extensive preparation?
It helps you to improvise while you perform: As a speaker a new idea will come suddenly while you speak and you can go for it like Martin Luther King did. His “I have a dream segment” was not in the original written script but was the inspiration of that historic moment.
Similarly, you might have seen a batsman in cricket execute improvised shots with great effectiveness. This is the power to improvise you get out of preparation.
The fifth secret about preparation is anticipation. You need to think about all situations that can go wrong and be prepared for it. Let me give you real life examples. I have forgotten to take the notes I prepared for an important speech. I have faced power failure at night during speeches. During your preparation you should be able to foresee situations.
The sixth secret is rehearsal. The more the better. The moment should come when you feel you have had enough of it and you feel absolutely weak and nervous and almost unable to perform. Until that point rehearse and rehearse till you are dead tired and fed up with the whole exercise.
Finally,get some good sleep the day before your performance. Today’s preparation will help you in some future crisis. The result will be a performance with confidence. Then you will be thankful that you did all that hard work when you had the chance.
Yes you can. There is no reason why you can’t? Simply believe. Go deliver your speech with enthusiasm.
Step #2 Smile
Never forget this basic human relationship principle. Remember to smile at the beginning of your speech and maintain a pleasant attitude throughout your speech.
Step #3 Salutation
Address people on the dais with appropriate titles and respect. Do not use wild gestures and broad sweep of the arms. Gently tilt your face and look at each person addressed when you say their names.
Step #4 Introduction
A catchy introduction makes people give you attention. A quote, a story, a question, or even an interesting object or picture shown can make the audience curious and compelled to listen to you.
Step #5 Mention the Topic
Tell the audience what is the topic of your speech and the broad elements you will be covering in the speech. For example if you are going to speak on the Importance of Reading, you can also tell them that you will be covering how reading can inspire, inform, and entertain. That will help the audience look forward to those sections of your speech.
Step #6 Create a Framework
It is the skeleton that gives shape to the human body. Likewise a framework can give your speech an intelligent structure which will help not only you remember the main points of your speech but also enable your audience to follow your speech.
Add details to each point you want to say. For example if you are speaking on Covid-19 you can mention its global spread, statistics of people affected, mortality rate, post Covid medical care needed, vaccines, stories of survivors, the role of medical personnel, politicians, administrative officers, police, and volunteers who made sacrificial contributions in fighting Covid-19
Step #8 Summing Up
You can summarize your main thoughts at the end of your speech. It will help people recall the main points you covered in your speech.
On a high window sill stood two flower pots. One had a wild red rose full of thorns in it. It was in bloom. The other was a small garden plant. It had a single bud in it. Shades of golden yellow could be faintly seen. But it refused to bloom even when its time had come.
The Wisethorn, for that was the wild rose’s name, asked: “Hey, Bloomy, why don’t you bloom?”
In reply, she said: “I can’t. I’m not so beautiful like roses. I’m afraid whether my petals would come out well. What if the ugly worms put black spots in it? And then what will roses think of a poor little flower like mine?”
The Wisethorn understood. But it did not agree; for it knew better. The Wisethorn had seen even deserts burst into bloom. So it gently whispered a secret in Bloomy’s ears.
She listened. Then she thought, “Well, it sounds too good to be true.” A gentle wind seemed to soothe her mind for a flash of a second. Then it was cloudy again.
She drooped once more.
The Wisethorn was patient. It asked again: “What’s it this time?”
This time Bloomy said, “The wind is too strong and the sun is so hot ….”
The Wisethorn did not shed any tears for her. But it was all ablaze in flaming fury. It thundered the secret once again in Bloomy’s ears. Time stood still.
There was a pause.
Then time began to tick again. The struggle had begun. Other voices shouted in her mind’s ears: “It can’t be done.”
She looked to the Wisethorn again. It seemed to know what it had said. There was an authority in its look.
As eye met eye, she felt a surge of confidence. She said quietly but firmly: “Yes, the bud will bloom! It will! It will!”
It was the death-knell of the other voices. Yeah, Wisethorn’s words had triumphed!
Bloomy knew that her time had come. It was now or never. She had to choose. She had to be what she had to be or else it would be as if it had never been.
The clouds were gathering. The first streaks of lightning lit up the dark sky. Thunder rumbled in the distance.
But a greater fire was burning within her. She longed to be what she was created to be. Bloomy drew a deep breath and raised her head. She knew for sure that her bud would have a sunshine bloom!
That was yesterday. The rains had come and gone. The sun shone.
Now Bloomy was in bloom!
When the first joy of breaking free from the negative thoughts that had bound her was over she turned and greeted Wisethorn. The exhilaration of life’s first triumph was written all across her jubilant face.
Was it a smile? Were it tears? Was it joy or a twinkle in the eye? No one knows; but then it all seemed to say with one heart and one voice, “Thank you, thank you so much!”
All those who saw Bloomy were happy for her. They all said, “You’ve changed, Bloomy!”
But then none knew the word of wisdom Wisethorn had thundered in her ear!
I would like to share a story that happened at Christ Nagar School1 where I had done my schooling in VIII C Class during the third term. The year was 1986, the year remembered for Argentina’s FIFA World Cup win under Diego Maradonna’s mesmerizing captaincy.
At the end of first term our English Teacher left because he got a job elsewhere. At the end of the second term the same thing happened with our next English Teacher too. Then our beloved Principal, Rev. Fr. Gerard Thevalasseril, a genius as well as a strict disciplinarian, himself came to teach us English even though he was known to teach history.
One day (I distinctly remember I was seated on the second bench, middle row), he asked me to read a portion of the English lesson that was being taught. I read. Before I sat down he lifted up his hand in a gesture of blessing and said, “Good reading, you are going to become an orator.”
I did not understand the word “orator.” And I did not have the courage to ask him then. We were all really afraid of him. He commanded that kind of respect from all of us.
So I went home and looked up the word in the Oxford pocket dictionary. The meaning was given as “good public speaker.” I laughed to myself and thought the Principal had gone crazy as I had never given a public speech before. But encouraged by his words I joined for a competition in school a couple of weeks later.
The topic was discipline. I started off with the Principal’s own words which he made it a point to repeat and emphasize on every Monday and Thursday morning school assembly: “Discipline is one’s ability to adjust oneself to the given situation.” Then I said some more of his famous words: “Where there is discipline there is order, where there is order, there is harmony, where there is harmony there is beauty . . .” That was all I could say. And nothing more.
I left the classroom where the competition was held, thinking, “Public speaking is not going to be my cup of tea!” And that was practically my first and last public speaking attempt at school.
But what I thought was not what God had planned as later events proved:
After passing out of school (SSLC) I got chances in elocution competitions in my church where too I made blunderous beginnings. The very first competition I participated in was conducted in Malayalam. Having sought the permission of the judges I spoke in English. I found myself staring at the ground after the first two minutes having run short of ideas amidst audible jeers from a youthful crowd.
And it was only towards the end of the third year at college that I found courage to participate in a debate. The next year as I finished speaking for an elocution competition in the college auditorium, one of my former classmates who chanced to witness it came rushing to me to say, “Bejoy, you wasted four years of college life!”
At that time, I wrote a registered letter to our former School Principal telling him this story I am telling you now. I wrote to him that his words were prophetic: Not only did I become a public speaker but also had begun to train students in public speaking. I was so happy to receive the acknowledgement due slip to the letter (even though his once classy signature had shrunk to a small one due to his prevailing ill health then).
The point of my story is that I had never dreamt of becoming a public speaker or a trainer. But my Principal’s words proved prophetic in my life.
It became even more significant as two of my schoolmates attended my first batch of public speaking as well.
One of the questions commonly asked in my training sessions is this: “What will others think about me?” Whether it be professionals or students they share this same concern.
Often I’ve seen many talented speakers in my training sessions make wrong judgements of their own speech. They sport a sad face after they speak. If asked why they look so defeated, the reply usually is, “I did not do well.”
This reaction is usually triggered by a few inattentive participants in the group. The speaker therefore concludes that his or her speech was not worth listening to. The truth is that you cannot judge the quality of your speech by audience reaction alone.
Look at these three incidents and come to your own conclusion regarding, “What will others think about me?”
The first one happened at a recording in All India Radio, Thiruvananthapuram studio. I had sent one of my students to do the recording of a story for Yuvavani a youth programme. She was reading her script in the recording room. From there she could see the computer room through a glass partition.
A few people who were involved in the recording process were talking with each other and laughing in that room. Their jovial chatter posed no threat to my student who was reading her script well because it was a sound-proof room. Yet at one point in time the graph on the computer screen stopped showing the voice-recording. My student had stopped reading!
Surprised by this (because my student was reading well), one of the programme executives came over to her side from the other room. She was asked why she had stopped reading. The reply took the programme executive by surprise.
My student told the programme executive that she had suddenly panicked thinking that all of the programme executives were laughing and joking at her poor reading. How far from the truth it was! The programme executives were sharing some funny stories. It had nothing to do with my student reading her script (this was her first recording experience too).
The second incident happened many years ago at the College Annual Day. It was March 17, 1995. I had the privilege of doing the Reply to the Toast Speech. It was a speech that I had dreamed of doing the last year of my college and I had prepared well to the best of my ability.
After having studied in Mar Ivanios College, University of Kerala, for seven years, I knew a large majority of students seated in the auditorium personally. Yet a couple of minutes after I started to speak there were howls and boos from the jam-packed audience. It took me by surprise because I was delivering a very carefully prepared speech.
I was shaken a little bit because that was the first time I faced such a reaction from the crowd in the college auditorium. That being my last speech (a swan song, so to say) at the auditorium as a student of the college, I felt sad too. But somehow I kept my composure and finished the speech.
After the programme was over, my teachers congratulated me for the wonderful speech I had delivered. Now it really baffled me why then had the crowd created trouble for me while I spoke?
As I thought on this contradiction, the truth dawned on me. There were several speeches that had preceded my speech. The student community were gathered together that day not to listen to speeches but to listen to the songs and enjoy the dance programmes that would follow in the variety entertainment segment.
The students had howled to send across the message that they wanted the cultural programmes to begin quickly. Their howls had nothing to do with the quality of my speech.
So let me come back to that original question, “What will others think about me?” The truth is that they might not be thinking anything negative about you at all. Their reactions might have to do with something else. While you speak, do not try too much to read negative meanings into reactions in the audience.
Let me now move on to the third incident. At National Institute of Personnel Management (Trivandrum Chapter), I asked all my students to read aloud what I had written on the board. After all the twenty-three students had read those lines, I asked one student to stand up and read those lines again. Her reaction took me by surprise.
Almost in tears, she asked me, “Why Sir, why do you want me to read again?” She thought that I had found fault with her reading. The truth was, her reading was so excellent that I wanted the other students to listen to her once again! How wrong an interpretation and negative colouring she had given to the request!
Isn’t it true that we often jump into wrong conclusions from how others react? Therefore, kindly stop thinking too much about what others think about you.
Isn’t it amazing that only men and women gather together to talk? And perhaps listen. Other creatures of instinct lack this ability. But how productive are our meetings? Whether it is informal or formal, personal or official? It is good to reflect on this.
First of all, consider others’ time:
Time rolls on. It does not stop for anyone. If you are wise you will use time wisely. Idling away time in gossip and slander is foolish and harmful. As Eleanor Roosevelt observed, “Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.”
So, if you value your time and others’ time, stop spending your time on discussing other people and events. Spend much time discussing ideas. And while you do so do not spend time with those who see only the clouds. But spend some time with those who see the silver lining. And can share your enthusiasm and encourage you on to achieve the ideas you’re working on.
Secondly, consider the value of bouncing ideas:
Ideas are never born mature. It takes time as well as fertilizing to make it grow and take shape. Ideas, like a tennis ball, need to be bounced on solid surfaces. That is why we take our doubts to our
teachers, parents or other seniors who have the maturity to see the value of the ideas we have. And this too happens in a meeting.
When ideas are bounced it helps bring clarity to your mind. The one listening to you can point out to you some important points that might have escaped your attention. He or she also will have the advantage of seeing the bigger picture while you might be struggling with a smaller aspect of the problem. So invite healthy criticism of your ideas. It will help clarify your thoughts.
Finally, tune in to feedback:
Most meetings lose value because many talk but do not listen to what others have to say. They just proclaim and pass on. This creates resentment in the long run. Whether you are the boss or a parent or a husband or a friend; if you fail to tune in to feedback you can lose the warmth of your relationship.
When you listen to feedback, it gives you valuable clues to as to what the other person or party thinks on the issue under discussion. Feedback can be positive. It can at times fail to be enthusiastic. Then you have to seek the cause. It might take some asking but if your relationship is good with the person concerned, he or she will tell you what is hurting them and why. Then you can make adjustments to
your original proposal so as to accommodate their views and ideas and your relationship will be strengthened. And meetings be made more productive.
Tailpiece:
Of course, if the meeting is official the value of having a clear agenda, an efficient moderator or chairman to run the meeting and the ability of the group to stick to the purpose of the meeting; will make a huge difference in its outcome.
Most jobs require good communication skills. If you would like to succeed in your career, it is important you develop good communication skills. Here are some tips to do so.
#1. You need to have a great desire to communicate.
That means you have a desire to share with others the knowledge you have gained. It also means that you greatly wish others to benefit from your skills. When you have such a desire, it becomes easy to speak well.
#2. Have something to say.
It means that you should have a thorough knowledge of your subject. To gain such knowledge you should listen to good speakers, read books, newspapers and good magazines. As you grow up, you will be able to talk about your life experiences as well.
#3. Organize your material.
Several speakers confuse their audience because they have not arranged their material well. But good speakers take time and effort to arrange the content of their speech into main points and sub points. This makes it not only easy for the speaker to communicate but for the audience to understand it as well.
#4. The opening should be interesting.
Whether it is a story, a quotation or question that is used to open your speech, it should be interesting to the audience. Only if they get interested in your speech at the beginning will they listen to your speech fully. Think about good novels or stories you have read. They all had good openings which got you interested; didn’t they?
#5. You should also end well.
Many speakers do not plan for a good ending. Therefore they say something like, “That’s all.” That is a very poor ending. A pilot is concerned about landing his plane safely. Likewise a speaker should plan for a good conclusion. It can be a summary of points already covered. It can be a very short story or quotation that will highlight the main thought of your speech. Or it can be an appeal to act on something you said. Some speakers make people think much when they end with a question.
#6. Use homely examples.
Look at Jesus. He told stories or parables about things which people found all around them. He spoke of the birds of the air, the lilies of the fields, shepherd and sheep, fishing, yeast and dough, treasure hidden in a field and so on. These made his speeches memorable and we think on them with delight even today. So make your speeches interesting with lively examples.
#7. Turn to the Bible often.
It is a treasure house of communication. First of all it is God’s communication to man. Secondly, if you follow an English Bible it will give you an excellent command over English. Along with it, you will learn several speaking styles like the style of Moses, the prophets, Jesus, Paul etc. This will help you speak to large audiences well.
To conclude, developing good communication skills is a must in the modern world if you would like to excel in your career. Communication skills will help you gain recognition and promotion in whatever field you are. Remember that good public speaking helps you make a giant leap to leadership. Therefore spend time and effort to develop this important skill.
Talk for Yuvavani,
All India Radio, Thiruvananthapuram.
First Broadcast on 20 August 2005.
A wise speaker once remarked: “The human brain is a wonderful organ. It starts to function as soon as you are born and never stops until you get up to deliver a public speech.” There is great wisdom in that observation.
Indeed speaking in public is a terrifying prospect for many. It is terrifying primarily because it involves thinking on one’s feet. With a little bit of training and practice it can be done. But the very thought of doing so can strike terror into many hearts. These seeds of negative thoughts soon sprout and take firm root in the mind. This is popularly referred to as stage fright.
The word stage reminds us of the presence of an audience. It is the audience factor that determines the intensity of fear one experiences. As one goes on the stage, he knows that the spotlight is focused on him. He knows that all are watching him eagerly awaiting a great performance. The same anxiety an athlete experiences while on the track in a large Olympic stadium with ten thousands in attendance is also experienced by the speaker.
Wobbly knees, a giddy head, a racing heart, sweating palms, and butterflies in random flight in the stomach are all part of this experience. These are not symptoms of some fatal disease but the beginning of birth pains for a speaker. He is about to deliver a baby. And labor pains hit him. Some succumb to it and deliver premature or stillborn speeches. They fail to inspire audiences.
But some speakers have the ability to make the butterflies in their stomach fly in formation. They harness this vital energy and make the turbines of their mind rotate to deliver speeches with punch and gusto. They carry audiences on the wings of their imagination to flights of fancy; sometimes informing them; at other times reasoning with them in order to persuade and move their minds. At other times they entertain with lively jokes and stories.
But it is only when the speaker has connected with the audience that the speech becomes complete.
Originally the speech gets birthed as a few unrelated ideas in the mind of the speaker. Slowly they begin to take shape into some kind of order. But presenting those ideas in that raw state would only amount to having a table full of different vegetables. The dish is not yet ready.
For that to happen a real mixing of right ingredients and spices are required. Some kind of cooking has to happen in the mind. And this process takes time to work out properly. And when the aroma hits, you can know that it is almost ready. It is then that the speaker first gets the feel that the speech is going to work out all right. He feels confident that the speech is taking form and beauty and taste.
Talking about taste, these days, dishes are not served as it is. Instead chefs make an art out of it. And art makes the ordinary, look and feel exotic.
In the same fashion, this is where style or the choice of words that a speaker uses become crucial. It is the dress of his thoughts. Different fashions are there to chose from. He can opt for a traditional attire which appears very formal. These kind of speeches are suited for ceremonies that require dignity and decorum. At other times the speaker can go for very colorful and trendy dresses for his thoughts. These kind of speeches are for less formal occasions.
The speaker can tell stories and anecdotes, spice his speech with quotes and illustrations and even use visual aids to communicate. At other times the dress of a joker with a long cap, a red ball nose, a painted face and loose-fitting pyjamas can suit the dress for his thoughts. These kind of speeches are meant to entertain audiences. And they are best suited for after-dinner occasions, when the stomach is full and eyelids close and open in rapid succession. Such are the varieties of speeches and their fashions.
But as mentioned earlier, it is only when the speaker has connected with the audience that the speech becomes complete.
This can happen when the speaker exhibits charisma. Charisma does not mean good looks; though good looks can help to some extent. Charisma is all about having a pleasant look; a genuine and gentle smile, and an exhibition of great posture and poise in front of audiences. The speaker has to communicate an air of confidence and enthusiasm to create charisma. Only then will he be able to connect with audiences.
The audience on the other hand has to feel confidence about the speaker. They have to warm up to him. Otherwise the speaker’s job becomes doubly difficult. In other words the audience can inspire or depress a speaker. That is why Mark Twain said: “Blessed is the man who has an expecting audience.” That is why the audience factor has contributed positively to the making of some great speeches which have been embalmed and treasured in the hearts and minds of men ever since.
In fact, a good speaker understands his audience perfectly. He watches them closely and times his best speaking moments to suit their changing attitudes. At such times he is like an eagle who was hovering above, now descending for the kill in one swift dive. He plays on their emotions, their longings, their needs, their aspirations, their fears and their sense of self-esteem. His speech thus becomes a grand mosaic of designs and patterns, interlacing and interweaving in and out through the inner urges and driving forces of the human psyche and behavior.
The best example of this comes from that immortal address penned by Shakespeare which begins: “Friends, Romans, countrymen; lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.” Each time Mark Antony repeated the phrase, “And Brutus is an honorable man,” it was like a huge hammer pounding the nails onto Brutus’ coffin. Thus Mark Antony showed to the world his great understanding of audience psychology. Great speakers are armed with such knowledge and they connect with audiences instantaneously.
Even though it is true that many speakers connect with audiences; an uninterrupted power supply throughout the speech is maintained only by a few. In other words, a speaker is continuously confronted with the challenge of keeping the attention of the audience riveted on his speech. This is because modern man is impatient. He flies like a busy-bee all the while. He is caught by the moment’s fancy like a child attracted by new toys. Any slight disturbance in the hall or outside can woo the audience away from the speech. We have to think of the speaker’s challenge in this broader context.
Therefore the best ways to keep audiences glued to your speech are by keeping speeches short and simple. A speaker has to respect the time of his audience. About time sense, Jenkin Lloyd Jones said: “A man who gives a bad thirty minute speech to two hundred people wastes only half-hour of his time. But he wastes one hundred hours of his audience’s time. That surely is a hanging offence.” So, by simply valuing the time of the audience a speaker can transform the kiss of death into a new lease of life.
And about simplicity, Emerson said: “Nothing is more simple than greatness indeed, to be simple is to be great.” In that sense, a great speaker makes it look all so easy like a batsman dancing down the cricket pitch and lofting the ball of a spinner over the long off boundary for a six.
And when the audience feels this sense of ease with which the task is done, the speaker has really connected with the audience. Such a performance shows his mastery of the art in which the audience shares the very heartbeat and rhythm of the speaker and his speech.
In public speaking, connections are made on another level too. This level goes far beyond flesh and blood. It probes the very depths of the spirit of man. The spoken word is like an arrow that cleaves the air and finds a firm lodging in the human heart. The skill of the best cardiac surgeon may dislodge it from there but the wound and the scar shall remain.
The spoken word is also like a song that finds a corresponding melody in another heart. It soothes and heals. The memory of that spoken word shall glow like an ember even when all the other fires in the world would die in ashes. Such is the power of the spoken word.
Of such connections, the Book of Proverbs has something significant to say: “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” It may seem amazing that such a small organ of the human body is invested with the power of life and death. Yet the more one thinks of it, the more fascinating the study of it becomes.
While the words of a powerful dictator like Hitler had the sting of death in it, the words of Winston Churchill and Rev. Martin Luther King had the gift of life in them. One of them had nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat. The other man said: I have a dream today. Both Churchill and King represent that host of speakers who pour life and courage, strength and inspiration, honor and dignity to the human cause of justice and freedom, righteousness and lasting peace in a war-torn world.
A speaker who falls into this category leaves footprints on the sands of time. He can be sure that others would follow in his steps. His words would connect to unborn tomorrows and thus ensure that a blazing torch of hope is passed on to multitudes of children and youth of the next generations. His words would echo from every mountain and valley that character and worthy conduct would give life to voices that would shake the foundations of evil empires; thus creating a new and better world.
#1. You Stand Alone
That is frightening. Many people like to be in the comfort of a group; allow others to talk and feel happy being led. The sudden change from being a passive listener to a visible speaker is difficult for many to accept.
#2. The Fear of Making a Fool of Oneself
It can happen if the mind goes blank, if words go wrong, or if fear shows through. The worry of making mistakes ensures that mistakes do come.
#3. My Ideas Are Not Good Enough
It is not ideas that are bad. It is often the packaging of ideas that needs to be done well. A chocolate wrapped in a newspaper will not be well received even if you tell the world that it is a delicious chocolate that is inside it.
#4. What Will People Think About Me As long as we are focused on what people are thinking about us; stage fright will rule. So many people become self conscious on stage and then a battle of nerves begin.
#5. Lack of Knowledge of Crafting a Speech
Lack of knowledge of one’s subject is a concern. But more than that many people do not know how to grab attention at the beginning; organize content well; use transitions effectively, support with evidence, illustrations, examples; and end on a positive, high note.
#6. Bad Memories of Past Mistakes and Failures
Most people have had bad experiences in their first attempts on stage. Sometimes these mistakes and failures like forgetting memorized lines or shivering were made fun of by friends, teachers, or strangers even. Such bad memories paralyze people from speaking with courage.
#7. Fear of Rejection
Everyone loves to be appreciated and accepted. But every time one goes on to stage to speak (however experienced he or she may be),there is the possibility of facing rejection from the audience. It is a fear that can trouble even the really confident speaker.
The good news however is that none of these fears need prevent you from becoming a good speaker. With a burning desire from your part, perseverance and help from someone who can inspire you with confidence; you can speak without fear. Yes, you can!
Perhaps you might not succeed in delivering a great speech this time also! So what? Understand that a speaker is not a once-for-all finished product. Instead the beauty of a speaker is that he or she is being moulded every day. Instead of trying to destroy the flaws; try to blend them into the design.
That means work on your strength as a speaker and being very good at it. Then slowly you’ll find that the shortcomings do not trouble the outcome of the speech. After all, all good speeches are based on lessons learned from plenty of bad speeches. When these lessons are stringed together; it shapes a speech that touches the heart, rouses the intellect, and inspires people.
Nothing Can Substitute You
Some find it painful at first to accept their shortcomings. Yet it is a joyful release of hope and celebration as one finds the truth that he or she is so unique and that nobody can replace him or her no matter what others think of them.
Yes friend, their might be so many things not perfect about you. Yet there is nobody else like you. So celebrate life as God’s gift to you. What better return can you give for that gift than being true to your own self.
So let us stop pretending. We are not actors on a world stage. Instead we are real people with ever so many shortcomings. Each one of us is having infinite value and worth in God’s eyes even though we appear to be of so little worth to others. That is the truth.
And there comes a moment when that truth dawns. This experience is liberating to say the least as far as a speaker is concerned. For the greatest asset a speaker brings on stage is he or she himself. No other visual aid can ever substitute you on stage.
You need not try to be extravagant in your dressing to make a statement. What comes across to the audience much more powerfully is the quiet confidence that you bring onto stage born out of the knowledge that you are making a statement as no one else can!
The Secret Is to Fall in Love
When a man and woman fall in love, the desire to communicate with each other dominates their thoughts. This is the key to being a great speaker.
When the desire to communicate is fuelled by a relevant message you are able to connect with your audience. At this point, your focus is not on fear about speaking; but on how to make yourself understood to the audience.
That brings us to falling in love once again. The moment that happens you want to express your love. It can take the form of gifts,flowers, cards or chocolates. All that means just one thing: “I love you.” That is the big idea, the key thought, and the overriding emotion.
But the fun is that you are thinking about yourself. All your thoughts are on your loved one. This is what should dominate a speaker’s mind–to make the audience understand what he has got to communicate. That is the desire to communicate. When that happens it is goodbye to stage fright and extraordinary delight in speaking!
Starting Trouble
“The human brain is a wonderful organ. It starts to work as soon as you are born and doesn’t stop until you get up to deliver a speech.” When the brain freezes, a beginner-speaker can panic at this point. However hard he tries, he might not get anything to speak on.
But what is the real problem that haunts a person when he tries to find a topic? Is it really that he does not have enough knowledge about something the problem? I don’t think so. The problem is something different. It is a nagging feel of the mind that tells the speaker that what he speaks about might be uninteresting to the audience.
This thought is simply untrue. Anything about you can be made interesting. Your biographical sketch can be interesting; provided it does not boast about “I did this,” and “I did that,” and provided that it does not go for a chronological listing of academic achievements. Instead if you briefly mention some aspect of your academic side that the audience can listen to with delight, then you would succeed.
Likewise, your favourite hobby, ambition, likes and dislikes, relationships, the game you love,movies that you like, are all subjects that can be made into interesting speeches. So next time someone invites you to speak, do not think of complex subjects and panic. Instead think on simple things and speak. For simplicity always appeals. It hides greatness within!
You need not try to take a detailed account of every mistake you make while you speak. Instead take some time to recollect some portion of your speech you had done well. And think of how to excel that performance.
For it is in pushing beyond your best past performances and rising above your limitations that true test of character is found. Such efforts involve most certainly the possibility of failure and more surely the ridicule of lesser mortals.
Your opportunity is now. It is yours when the wind is against you and strongest; and the night at its darkest. With trust in God and with commitment to finish strong, it is surely time to wake up from despair and make your speech and life count.
Organizing Content
If you organize your speech well, then it is easy for the audience to pick out the information you offer. You make listening easy by dividing your content into manageable packets. There are many popular methods to do so. Categorical and chronological arrangements are two such.
Many more ways of organizing content of your speech can be thought of. But the important thing to remember is that you need to cut the big cake to small pieces. And then offer them to your listeners so that they can have one piece at a time.
I Remember It Like Yesterday
The rule of thumb is to describe less but suggest more when you narrate your experiences. Then the audience will listen keenly to your speech and be more involved in it than otherwise. Memories do make speeches colourful.
Yet many of us forget to build a memory bank. Let not your hurts, nor your failures, nor your doubts, nor betrayals that you faced in life take away from you the zest for living. Yes, full participation in life; in its good, gives you great memories.
Then your speech will be spiced with them. And you’ll have an appreciative audience every time you speak.
“I don’t feel like speaking today,” is that kind of attitude and response which is common with school kids. But you should be made of stronger stuff than that.
I do accept that your problems at home, issues with health, work pressure at office, a broken relationship, and financial struggles are weighing you down. But what about tomorrow. It may or may not bring solutions. So if you don’t speak today you lose an opportunity–a time and opportunity and a moment that will never repeat itself in your life again!
More than that you lose a chance to make a stand for doing what is right. Your emotions will fight tooth and nail to oppose your decision to speak. And, if you allow your emotions to dictate probably you’ll end up doing nothing significant in life.
On the other hand, can you imagine the confidence it will give you if you can step forward and attempt to speak? Sure, you are unprepared. But did you know that some great speeches are born in the fire of “I can’t do it” protestations? So decide to speak no matter what you feel.
You anyway will not solve your problems by not speaking. Therefore step out and speak. Tomorrow you will be able to speak with more grace, eloquence, and confidence simply because today you attempted to speak in spite of your troubles. When you speak today it might not be anywhere near perfection; but that doesn’t matter. What alone matters is the fact that you did not yield to the spirit of despair that said, “I can’t do it!”
Success in life is about your ability to refuse the negativity that wants to dominate you. Success is not about measuring the quality of each speech delivered or every single attempt you make. Success is about keeping on doing what you are good in spite of all of your doubts and fears.
So do it today. Let your voice be heard. Who knows how you might inspire someone else by your courage to speak today! Let me conclude by reminding you that the feeling that “I can’t do it”is a deception and a lie. You can if you are simply willing to try.
Fear is common to all. Some fear the dark; some others spiders or snakes or cockroaches; some others fear public speaking. Let us look at some of the most common excuses given to avoid speaking in public.
#1. My English Vocabulary Is Poor
Let me put across a sentence to you: I today bike ride came office. I hope you got the meaning. Did I use proper grammar here? No. But did you get the idea I wanted to convey. Yes. The truth is that you don’t need big words nor grammar to communicate. But it is great if you can use correct English.
Without grammar it is probably like riding a car on a bumpy road; while on the other hand it will seem like a glide. And you don’t need big words to communicate well. Robert Frost’s “The woods are lovely, dark and deep, And I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep,” continues to fascinate readers. The depth of meaning communicated is huge; but the words chosen are simple for even a little child to understand. So also you go for simple words.
#2. I Forgot My Points Last Time
All speakers experience this from time to time. The simplest thing you can do is to note down the main headings of your speech on a card. Keep it with you. The confidence it brings, and the freedom you feel is big. Give your notes an occasional glance. That is all that is needed to keep your worries away.
It is like the confidence a car driver has because of him having a stepney or spare tyre ready in case of a puncture on road. In case you need additional help, just note down a few key words in big bold letters underneath the main headings. That will reassure you that your mind will not go blank when you speak. You can even make the note cards colourful with highlighters, crayons or sketch pen markings.
#3. I Don’t Have Enough Knowledge
Now this is true for many. But should it stop you from speaking? No. Then what is the best thing you can do. Create a habit of reading. Keep notes of what you read. You can refer to them when you prepare a talk. The problem comes when you take a plain, simple, direct approach to the topic. Instead try to have depth in your talk.
For example when you talk about marriage; do not limit your talk to simply love in marriage. You can talk about the role of compatibility, finances, cultural and ideological conflicts, parental influences, work-life balance, raising up children, and of course guarding your married life from eroding influences from all around.
If you want to talk about the Cross; along with the primary understanding that it was about God’s love for you and Jesus’ once for all sacrifice for sins for all mankind; you can also add it is God’s plus sign with a vertical plane pointing to man’s upward relationship with God (love towards God) and a horizontal plane denoting our relationship with our neighbours (love for others).
#4. I Feel Like a Failure
The speaker on stage is like a lone man in a battlefield facing an army unit of hundreds. No wonder he feels vulnerable. If the speaker is thinking about how best he is delivering his speech; he is trying an impossible task. Feeling like a failure is the only result possible. The practical point is that emotions are at play when you try to assess your speech during or immediately following your speech.
Like wild waves of the sea it will hit you. Be like a rock. Or else it will drown you. The truth is that because you tried to do your best; you are not a failure. But there is always room for improvement. You need also to understand that speeches can fail in spite of your best effort. Therefore the best attitude is to prepare best, deliver best and move on and try to improve upon the best you did last time. In such a pursuit you reach towards excellence.
#5. What Do I Do with My Hands?
Some hold the Mike; others the lectern; and still others cut the air with both hands. Some rub the chin, others twist their hair and still others play with their dress. Yes it takes time to master what to do with your hands. When you are nervous, you tend to use hand movements more than what is needed or necessary.
So it is important to identify what mannerisms you have and replace them with meaningful actions. Ask a trusted friend to help you with this. Watching a video of your presentation might discourage you; so a friend’s help is best.
Know that actions have more impact when you put your whole body behind it. Actions also are more emphasized when what you say and what you show with your hands speak the same thing. As you grow in experience you will learn to be more comfortable using your hands well while speaking.
#6. I Have Nothing Interesting to Say
There are two sides to this. One is content, the other is how you say it. Well, how you say it will take some time to master. But you can always pick up threads from your life and weave it into colourful stories.
A person who says a true story well will have his audience listen to him with interest. So dig deep into your memories and you will find a treasure of stories to share.
#7. What Will Others Think About Me
People have so many things to think and worry about already. So it is foolishness to think that they have suspended all that to think about you–your dress, your fluency, your mistakes and so on. With the kind of high engagement people have with social media and their mobiles; it is highly likely that they don’t have any time to think about you.
Why worry therefore what others think about you? By the way, do you have any control over what anyone thinks about you; be it good or bad? Hope you got the point. You just focus on delivering your speech as best you can today. Even if you try hard; you can never please all in your audience. Can you?
Let me tell you a secret. There is no single secret that works when you are nervous. But hold on. First of all; be assured that you will not die due to stage fright.
Now if your mind goes blank; next time you go on stage you can be bold that you cannot go worse than the last time. Have a look at your audience. They are expecting you to succeed. Isn’t that great? So smile. It simply helps. And be pleasantly surprised to see some smile back at you. It will ease tension anyway!
By the way you will rarely get an ideal audience. There will be babies crying; organizers running around, microphones howling, people engaged in social media. The best thing to do is to focus your eyes on a few who seem eager to listen and speak.
What if you were asked to speak at the last minute? Don’t let the opportunity pass. See it as a chance to try your luck. The chances are you will do much better than you ever dreamed of. A simple tip is to focus on one idea and start. As you speak some more ideas will certainly come.
And if you were prepared; but forgot your notes; don’t panic. Ask for a sheet of paper and pick a pen. Just note down the main points from memory and keep it with you. You will do well. Well, we all have bad days when our speeches are not well delivered.
After all, we are not robots. Our best efforts as human beings are capable of being improved. So speak without fear. While stage fright, which is irrational fear, can be overcome, the truth is that nervousness before speaking will always be there. Just as you have no control over your shadow; you have no control over nervousness as well.
Often it will be at its peak when you are best prepared. It is then that you feel you have forgotten everything; even the opening lines. But the good news is that it is this very same nervousness that makes a person run away from stage; and on the other hand makes another give a thundering oration.
So welcome nervousness on board as a friend. Then instead of fighting against you; it will fight for you!
The first thing to do to speak without fear is your willingness to try. Forget about all the lies about your failure the devil whispers in your mind. Instead, be ready to make a fool of yourself on stage.
Let me tell you the truth point blank:
One, you will make mistakes; I don’t know anyone who does not make them on stage; at least once in a while. I know I do.
Two, people will say good things to you like, “You speech was wonderful.” The best thing to do is not to believe it. For it doesn’t mean anything. And probably they have no more knowledge of the craft of speech than you do.
Three, people have too many things to think about already–the bills they have to pay, how to manage their bad boss at office, and the studies of their children that worry them. Do you think they have time to think about your speech and all its faults? I doubt.
Of course, you will feel humiliated when you make mistakes. For we are made of flesh and blood and emotions and mood swings; aren’t we? So, what’s the big deal? Your failure on stage proved you to be a human being. That’s all to it; and nothing more.
Now how to handle criticism levelled against you. It definitely hurts. Why? Because we have strong egos. Now what does than mean? It is the thinking that I am right (always), and I simply can’t be wrong.
Now think about it this way. It doesn’t matter how good or bad your speech was. Think about improving on it. Be dissatisfied with your best efforts. Then you will be able to see criticism helping you on the road to excellence than tearing you apart.
Finally, let me tell you the secret of success I have personally known and experienced in speaking. To me, it has always been the truth of God’s love to me displayed on the Cross of Calvary where Jesus shed his blood and died.
It has also taught me that failures are integral to the process of becoming good. It teaches you more about humility than anything else.
So face your fears honestly. But don’t make it an excuse to run away from speaking situations. Volunteer to speak. Fail. Fail again and again. The time will come when it will be difficult for you to not to succeed. And still if you fail, let it be so. But tomorrow you will try again; won’t you!
You cannot please everybody. It is like trying to juggle a football, a cricket ball, and a table tennis ball along with a few cups and plates.
And that is not only impossible but even the attempt is futile.
Therefore it is wise to focus on what you do and attempt to do that well each time you do it. Of course there will be people to criticize your mistakes.
Simply accept the fact that no movement or progress is possible without being criticized.
But when that happens there is no need to lose heart.
First of all examine criticism truthfully.
It might have some lesson you can accept to correct your course of action and improve yourself. Never lose that opportunity. But accept it with humility.
Secondly, criticism can dishearten you easily. You might feel like giving up. If you do you lose a valuable opportunity to show the world how good you are in what you do. When people speak ill of you, sharpen your skills and come back more strongly than ever.
Thirdly, trust the true estimate God has about you.
It is not the colour of your skin that makes you look beautiful in his eyes. Instead it is sheer love for you that made him die for you. No one can snatch you out from his hands. Therefore do not worry, “Am I good enough?”
Let me conclude by asking you my dear friend to humbly accept criticism honestly. Use criticism as an opportunity to show your strength and not cower in weakness and fear.
Finally, be assured that in spite of all the criticism the world can throw at you and all that you think is not good about you God loves you and accepts you the way you are right now.
Why worry anymore about what others think about you?
When it happens the first thing to believe is that you can come out of it, God helping you.
Again, do not be surprised that you feel totally confused and unable to do so many things you did with ease in the past. That is how it is during a period of loss of confidence.
What you need to do is to look back, look forward, and look up. What you shouldn’t do is look inward and feel helpless.
Instead, look back to your best past performances and believe that you can do it again. Perhaps much better than how you did it then.
Then you need to look forward and focus on dreaming big for your future. Do not focus on the present misery and limit yourself. The greater your dream the better chance for your quickness of recovery.
And when you dream, always think of helping people to be at their best through your success. It will give a greater purpose to your dreams and enthusiasm in your present efforts.
The next thing to do is to look up. God loves you and is always ready to help you. The only thing you need to know is that his sense of timing is different.
He is patient. He takes time to rebuild your confidence. His goal is formation of your character and making you have inner strength and courage.
Perhaps the hidden blessing in loss of confidence is that you become a person with compassion for others. Instead of being puffed up with pride because of your talent and abilities, you learn to stoop down and give a helping hand to those who struggle with lack of confidence themselves.
So cheer up. Your loss of confidence is not going to last long. With hope in God and trust in his unchanging love for you, move forward to climb greater heights than you have ever achieved so far.
When you prepare for a twenty minute presentation have ready with you stuff for a one hour presentation. Even though you’ll not use the extra it shows on your face and the way you walk. It inspires confidence about you in the audience. And even before you open your mouth they feel an electric atmosphere in the air. They are ready to drink in every ounce of information that you give. What a moment!
But if you walk up there with barely 20 minutes of prepared material, it will be like trying to fly a hot air balloon which has got a huge tear in it. It will not lift at all.
2. Involve your audience
The audience is always on your side. So why not make best use of them. At the beginning of your presentation ask them one or two friendly questions. Motivate them to answer positively.
Or seek the cooperation of one or two members in the audience to do something for you. Perhaps help with the arrangements on stage or with materials that you’ll use. Or have a show of hands or make all of them say something out loud. If you can get to know a few person’s names, use them. The audience will be delighted.
Thus involving the audience at the beginning of your presentation will get them interested in you and in what you have got to say. Then your presentation will have already succeeded even before it ever began.
3. Have a few surprises
There is nothing boring than the predictable presentation. It is like a low-scoring cricket game. No fun. So plan your presentation differently. Make it interesting. Think from the shoes of the audience. What would they delight in? What information will be new to them? How can I package it so that they’ll grab it?
Remember kids reach out for the best packaged chocolates and soft drinks. The colourful and the attractive immediately catches attention. The art of packaging your content is crucial to have a wonderful presentation. It needs much thought, creativity and imagination.
Above all, a willingness to experiment and fail at times. And learn from it. Be sure that you’ve excellent content to back it up. Otherwise you’ll disappoint your audience after beginning well.
4. Manage your time wisely
Be there before scheduled time. See that all equipment is in place and ready to function once the presentation starts. Talk to a few in the audience. Get to know what programmes happened before your event. Get a feel of how the mood of the audience is at that point in time.
Start on time. Give a rough idea to the audience as to how much time each segment of your presentation will take. And towards the end (especially if you note that the attention element is going down in the audience), tell them that you’ll be finishing in another 7 or 10 minutes as the case may be.
Give them a clue as to what important thing you are going to tell during that time. Then they’ll eagerly listen forgetting their tiredness. As for you remember to stop on time as promised.
5. Be sure to add the icing
End your presentation on a high, positive, lively note. Then it is audience-time. Most often speakers fail to utilize the after-moments. They just leave.
But this is the time that you can utilize to mingle with the audience. Answer a few questions. Listen to feedback. And criticism too.
The value of these moments will not be visible. But you’ll surely know the difference it makes when you give the next presentation.
Stories have got great power in communication. Primarily we need to understand that a well-told story is a complete piece of communication.
It has a definite beginning. Are we not familiar with the well-loved phrase, “Once upon a time”?
And stories do have a definite end. Again, we remember how we loved those fairy tales which ended, “And they lived happily ever after.”
There is action in a story. It gives our imagination a good exercise. Most stories arouse our curiosity. Thus we become active participants in the action when we listen to a story.
This power to engage the listener is so vital to communication. That is why a story succeeds in capturing attention where other speech techniques probably fail.
It is also important to understand that great stories do revolve around themes that lie close to life: Fight between good and evil, competing for love, honour, loyalty and sacrifice, war and hate, heroes and villains, journeys and dead-ends, explorations and conquest, myths and legends, light and darkness, death and beyond, pain and suffering, joy and fear, success and failure, birth and new beginnings. This list is by no means exhaustive.
Yet anything from personal life that touches one of these chords will not fail to captivate the audience if told well. And nothing surpasses the power of a story that ends with hope!
Eyes can speak without words. It can express love, hate, anger, excitement and so on. Therefore it is the speakers best connect with audiences.
In spite of this fact many beginner speakers fear to look in the eye of people in the audience. They might look up or far away. This is self-defeating as the speaker loses rapport with the audience.
Now part of the problem is caused by feelings of inferiority or loss of confidence. But a larger part of the problem is because the beginning speaker lacks knowledge on what to do on stage to maintain healthy eye contact with audiences.
The basic thing to know is that people expect you to look at them. This shows your confidence, preparedness, openness, as well as your good intention to connect and engage with people sitting in front of you.
The second thing to note is the manner in which eye contact can and does happen. If it is a big audience just send your gaze to the back of the auditorium. Then let it scan towards the front. What you will probably see is a blur of faces. That is how it is.
Once that is done you can give sideways glances. This will make sure that you have the entire audience covered with your eye making contact with them. As you speak whenever you look to any one part of the auditorium you will feel as if your eyes are interlocking with one or a few people. Every time you turn in that direction your eyes will interlock with the same person or group (They may or may not be people known to you.). When this connect happens know that everyone in that part of the crowd feels included in your speech.
On the other hand when you are talking to a small group within a room make sure that you look at each person in the eye. If they are seated in a semi circle with you standing in the middle make sure that the people sitting at both ends of the curve are given due notice occasionally. Otherwise they will feel left out, lose interest in your speech, and maybe in the worst case go to sleep.
Having said that, do not gaze at any one person for too long. For 4 to 5 seconds can feel like an eternity when a speaker is looking at one person alone. Especially those who participate in Group Discussions should ensure that they do not engage in a one to one conversation too long. Instead break eye contact with the one to whom you are responding to and look at the entire group as you continue to speak.
Now coming to the positive side of eye contact; you should smile with your eyes. Let the audience know how delighted you are to be with them. As you exhibit ease and confidence through proper eye contact; you will feel the same reflected back to you in a magnified way from the audience.
As far as reading from manuscript is concerned, proper eye contact is the key to its success. You might have seen American Presidents do that in a thorough professional manner for their inaugural address. The secret is to look at a group of words and deliver them looking at the audience.
A well-prepared document in big point size with wide margins and typed in double space is a must for this. So also many rehearsals will make it look natural; full of energy and enthusiasm, and make it look stunningly confident.
Well, you may not have the expertize of a classical dancer to express a variety of moods with your eyes. But with a little practice you can show delight with a twinkling eye. A stare can communicate anger, hatred, resentment or rebellion. A far away look can signal disinterestedness, dejection, wishfulness or sadness. Yes the eyes can speak volumes without words.
If you ask me what is that people fear the most about public speaking ; I can answer in one word: Mistakes! I can almost see you nod your head in agreement. I have learned that mistakes will comeno matter how talented you are or how best prepared you are. It is just the way we human beings are.
If you ask me again, what is that people fear about public speaking, I can answer again in one word: Criticism! This is tougher still. “What will others think about me?” Well, what can you do about that; absolutely nothing. People might smile at you and say nasty things behind your back. Well, why should you lose your sleep about something that you have no control over at all? Think about it.
Now, what if your mind goes blank? And thus make yourself a fool on stage! So what; my friend? Many great speakers began this way; and there is nothing to be ashamed about that. The brain sometimes makes its presence known by such tricks that it plays. Don’t worry; your mind will back you up with better speeches in the days ahead.
Now what if your speech is boring? Well you don’t become an interesting speaker the Day 1 you speak. It happens over time. The key is to understand people. Ask yourself what their fears, needs, and dreams are? You need to learn to speak not just logic but also with feeling and emotions. Simply be yourself and touch on life and life experiences while you talk.
Above all; create memories. Not just speeches. If one person smiles because of what you said; if one person is inspired to hold on for one more day and not give up saying “I quit” ; if one person comes up to you years later and says that the words you spoke made a lasting impact on his or her life; if one person makes a connect with hope in God through your words; then that is what is the true stuff speeches should be made of.
Let me close with one final word. Some golden rules are never meant to be violated. Keep it short and simple is one such. And when you are in doubt about something you feel like speaking; it is always better to leave it out.
Of course, you can glide in or halt with tires screeching or get people ready to act while you end. And remember, if you attempted to speak; if you gave your very best; then even if you failed—it is triumph!
The first thing you need to be clear about is where and how your plane is going to land. Your audience will not like it if you go around in circles indefinitely and without purpose at the end of your speech.
Imagine you telling them, “That’s all” at the end of your speech. It is like the panic announcement over the loudspeakers after you have fastened your seat belts. As you eagerly await the landing; it is as if the Pilot announced, “I don’t know how to land this plane!”
So make sure where you are heading your plane to.
In case you want people to remember something after you stop speaking, you can try something like: “Let me end by reminding you once again that cleanliness is next to godliness. So if you find bits of paper lying on the floor making the place untidy, make sure you pick them up.”
If you want people to go home thinking about what you just said in your speech, just give them a thought to think about and ask them to think about it: “Now let me end by asking you, ‘Would you like to stay where you are and be like a frog in the well; or would you like to travel the world and have a taste of different cultures, manners, customs, and foods of the people all over the globe? Think about it.”
If you wish people to take immediate action, urge them to do something about it at the earliest. Right now if possible: “My dear friends, the simplest steps to save water and electricity is right at your finger tips. When you step out of your home, just go to every room and check if all lights and fans are switched off. If not, switch it off. Similarly make sure no taps are dripping. Close all taps. It is that simple. Do it now, do it every day.”
If you want to impact people make a thundering landing and crash into the nearby building in fire and smoke: “If not today, know that there is no other day. This is your last match. Go and play like you will never play again. And don’t come back with your tails tucked between your legs. As a coach I have taught you everything I know. But play I cannot. Winning or loosing isn’t everything; but today winning is all that matters. Get me that glittering trophy or go sell peanuts on the streets tonight. I will not accept anything short of victory.”
You can go for a quote at the end if it ties up with the topic of your speech quite strongly. For example, if you are speaking on Father’s Day, what General Mac Arthur said about a Father who builds up rather than tears down is a case in point: “By profession, I am a soldier, and take pride in that fact, but I am prouder, infinitely prouder, to be a father. A soldier destroys in order to build; a father only builds, never destroys. The one has the potentialities of death; the other embodies creation of life; and while the hordes of death are mighty, the battalions of life are mightier still. It is my hope that my son, when I am gone, will remember me, not from the battle, but in the home repeating with him our simple, daily prayer, our Father Who art in Heaven.”
And don’t forget how advertisers find a lodging place for their products in the hearts of millions; through that slogan or sound bite that grips thoughts and emotions. Something like Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream,” something simple and persuasive like Obama’s “Yes, we can.” Apple co-founder Steve Job’s conclusion to his 2005 Stanford Commencement address, “Stay hungry, stay foolish” is a classic example of a sound bite that puts down its roots deep.
Yet another simple method to end is by going for a very short illustration or story. For example: A little girl was seen reading a book in a plane which had hit bad weather. Others around were tensed; some were earnestly praying for a safe landing. A man observed that there was no worry or anxiety on the face of a child seated next to him. So he asked her, “Little girl, are you not afraid.” She replied, “Sir, my Dad is the pilot, and he is taking me home.” Our trust in God our Heavenly Father should be like how this little girl trusted her Dad to pilot her home!
Finally, let me ask you not to make the mistake that millions of speakers make all the time. They start working on the introduction first. Then they work on the body of their speech. By the time all this is ready; they don’t have time to prepare the concluding lines. So they decide to land their plane as lucky as it gets. So far in the history of flying planes and public speaking no one has landed safely without planning a safe landing to perfection.
Hope from now on you will have the end in mind when you begin!
Speaking is a matter of joy. So keep aside your fears. Seek God’s help, read much on your topic, get guidance from parents and teachers, and you are ready to go.
First of all think about a good beginning. It should get the attention of the audience. It can be a quote, a very short story or even an experience from your life said quickly.
Something like,
“When I was a child, my father used to take us to the children’s library in my hometown. Soon, primarily through the world of comics I entered into the world of fairy tales, fables, heroes, heroines, villains, and imaginative stories. Little did I know that I was going to fall in love with reading. But one thing I know, it has added depth to my understanding of the meaning of life, people, cultures, and the world at large.”
Now you can tell them the topic of the day. If you can use some creative ways to phrase your topic, it will be great. For example, “Is the Habit of Reading a Lost Art? Even plainly stating the topic, “The Importance of Reading,” is fine.
Follow it up with a quick statement of what all things your audience can expect from your speech. For example if you are speaking on The Importance of Reading, you can say something like, “Today I will be helping you to understand how reading informs, entertains, and inspires you.”
Now the audience knows that your speech will cover three main points. The expectation is clearly established. And they know what they will get to carry home with them from your speech.
Next try to find logical ideas and examples to support each main point you are dealing with.
For example, you can say that the reading of a book on Questions and Answers had given you basic knowledge about the human body, deep sea fishes, artificial intelligence, inventions and discoveries, computers etc; the reading of C. S. Lewis’ The Chronicles of Narnia had entertained you, and the reading of Dr. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam‘s autobiography The Wings of Fire had inspired you.
Now you can tell your audience about how to make reading a habit. If you have a habit of reading the Bible the first thing in the morning, you can tell them it is a good way to begin the day by seeking God and his wisdom.*
You can then tell them how to bring variety in your reading by mixing story books, travelogues, science fiction, comics, poetry, drama, novels and so on.
Perhaps, you can also tell them how to write notes about what they read so that they will be able to recall and put to good use what they have read.
Now it is time to conclude. Before you do so you can try to cement the importance of reading by using a well known quote from Bacon, “Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed, and some few to be chewed and digested,” or from Milton, “A good book is the precious life-blood of a master spirit, embalmed and treasured up on purpose to a life beyond life.”
After saying that, you can tell them what you told them till then. Something like “the headlines once again” as you hear in the reading of the NEWS on television. “Today, I have tried to show you how reading informs, entertains, and inspires you.”
Now you can try a flow chart to touch down.
If you want to remind them of the importance of reading say something like, “I hope that the habit of reading will grow along with you like an ever-widening and deepening stream.”
Or if you want to persuade them to take action, end by asking, “The libraries of the world have many books. You can’t read all of them . But still there are some you cannot afford to miss. So start reading today.”
Yet again you want an inspirational ending, go for this: “If my short speech has ignited your imagination and inspired you to open the windows of your mind a little wider through reading, I am sure you will build a life on solid rock, chiselled by discipline, and trusted for its character.
