“Where do you see yourself five years from now?” is a typical question in a job interview. It is a tricky question and is used to assess the candidate’s commitment to the job and to find out his or her career goals. [Find multiple resources on this question at the end of article.]
What if the same question is changed into “Where do you see yourself at the end of life’s journey?” Then it becomes a question that pales everything else to insignificance.
But in case, you want to consider the possibility, think about a question Jesus asked: “For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?”1
That means the entire possessions of the world, its pride and glory, riches and kingdoms, wealth and pleasures, selfies and social media, are nothing compared to finding life beyond the grave.
Therefore life on earth is just a preparation; an interview where you are given a chance not to answer the question, “Where do you see yourself five years from now?” but instead “Where do you see yourself spending eternity?”
The choices are clear: heaven or hell, God or judgement. The decision is made now and here. Like there is a final bell for every exam, there will be one in your life as well.
Let me end with the poetic words of John Donne:
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.
Yes, there will be one last and final call. But then it will be too late to decide. Vote for God today; and that election will stand the test of time and all eternity!
A mother comforting her child is the picture God has used to tell us that he cares.
A mother’s comfort is not just about calming our troubled minds. That is just a starting point. More of it is about her presence nearby which gives us a sense of belonging, an assurance of security, and a knowledge that someone understands what one is passing through.
Yes, this is the triumph of the motherlike love of God. He holds us near in his loving embrace. In your troubles he knows that you are helpless. Like a hen gathering her chicks under her wings, you too will find a place of safety and refuge there.
Come and experience the motherlike love of God today. Is your heart broken and you feel like giving up? Do not miss this comforting love of God.
He is watching over you. When everyone says ill of you and there is none who comes to help and all your hopes are dashed; there is God who will comfort you like a mother comforting her child.
When you experience it, you’ll know that God has not given upon you; that you are his child, and that he loves you.
He looks forward to that day when he will wipe away every tear from your eyes. But till then, he comes near to you as your Comforter in your perplexing moments and comforts you.
So dear brother/sister; just open up your heart to the comforting love of God. Do not doubt the reality of this comfort.
Blessed are you if open up to experience this comforting love of God. Yes, like a mother comforting her child God will take care of you; support you; hold your hand and carry you through as if carried on the strength of eagles’ wings!
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Title inspired by Isaiah 66:13 Bible.
Short Speeches of Introduction, Welcome, Felicitation, Vote of Thanks!
Standing still is difficult. It does not come naturally to any one of us. Like a child who has just learned to walk; our hearts and hands constantly try to grab things fast.
With mobiles in our hands that can compute real fast if some page takes more than a few seconds to load we become impatient.
In the midst of such daily experiences, God commands us to stand still. But those who have tried to do so know that it is more than difficult. We would like to engineer our ideas and try to help God somehow.
Yes, standing still goes against our wisdom. We are used to connect with people, use money power, or influence to get things done. Waiting for God to act is not in our scheme of things.
But God waits. He waits to allow us to come to the end of our strivings. He waits till our strength and resources and wisdom are all exhausted. He waits until we are truly helpless.
Unable to fight one more round when we lie down in the dust; God steps in. He acts decisively.
So today make a deliberate attempt to calm your hearts and minds before God.
He is on his throne and in absolute control of all that is happening in your life. He is concerned for you. Negative circumstances and giant opposition is no match for his wisdom and power.
The only thing he is asking of you and me is to put our confidence and trust in him. Standing still is an outward sign of our faith in God. In such moments our focus is on God himself, how big he is, how great he is, how wise he is, and how great power and resources he commands.
So my dear friend, tell God that you have come to the end of all your ideas. Ask him to step in and tell him you feel helpless. Remember that the battle is God’s. You role is to stand still and watch what God is going to do for you.
When you stand still without running here and there in desperation, there will come people asking you, “On what are you basing this confidence of yours?” Do not let their doubts or their ridicule shake your faith. Stand still. Stand firm and see the deliverance God will bring in your life.
“Man’s extremity is God’s opportunity<” so said John Flavel . Sometimes God acts only when there seems to be no hope to go forward and no possibility of going back. It is then that you have to stand still and not give in to panic.
Short Speeches of Introduction, Welcome, Felicitation, Vote of Thanks!
It’s never too late to start. You should turn your back to the past and walk forward in hope. If it is strength for the journey you are worried about; it is God himself who will be your strength.
It’s never too late to start. None of us are assured of tomorrow. So do not be anxious about what might happen. That is none of your business. But think about how you can make the present opportunity better.
It’s never too late to start. You might have debated long in your mind how to say that you are sorry for the wrong words you used or the mistakes you made. Most of us have passed through it. But if you are genuinely sorry, say it now. It will start to heal a lot of wounds.
It’s never too late to start. So many good things you planned to do, die before they are even born; isn’t it? A perfect start is often a myth; but a small beginning has in it potential to grow and multiply. What matters is not the feebleness of the attempt but that you get things start moving.
It’s never too late to start. Most of us neglect our loved ones at home in the pursuit of our career, hobbies, or even earning more likes and views in social media. But isn’t that sad? Remember what the great cricketer and missionary C. T. Studd said, “The light that shines farthest shines brightest nearest home.” So start to spend more time with your loved ones and make a deliberate effort to show them your love today.
It’s never too late to start. Say No. Most of your troubles can be due to your attempt to please people. Starting today, say no when you are in doubt, when you clearly know that something is wrong, and when you understand that others are trying to manipulate you.
It’s never too late to start to seek God. Just take a moment to say, “I love you, O God.” “Have mercy on me, O God.” “Help me, O my God.” “Guide me, O Lord.” “Give me wisdom to take the right decision.” Or, “Thank you Lord.” In these short and simple prayers, your life can open up to possibilities of God stepping into your life. Seek God today; look into his glorious face, and see the compassion for you in his eyes.
The message of the cross of Jesus is the foolishness of God. For it puts on exhibit a man crucified in weakness–scorned, mocked, rejected and despised by men.
The message of the cross of Jesus is the foolishness of God. Yet this public display of the one who was wounded and bleeding for the sins of all mankind is the good news and means of salvation to all.
The message of the cross of Jesus is the foolishness of God. It is foolishness because human wisdom does not account success or achievement in the manner in which Jesus felt forsaken by God on the cross.
The message of the cross of Jesus is the foolishness of God. For there is no sign or demonstration of the miraculous as the Saviour of the world lay dying.
The message of the cross of Jesus is the foolishness of God. But Jesus on the cross then had and still has a magnetic attractive power that is incomparable to anything else in this world.
The message of the cross of Jesus is the foolishness of God. For it demands that man accept that in his pride and academic brilliance he cannot find God; that he cannot earn his own salvation; but that he come to God in humble child-like faith.
The message of the cross of Jesus is the foolishness of God. For there on the cross the judgement of God on man’s sin and rebellion fell on his innocent Son Jesus that we may receive forgiveness and pardon and freedom from the guilt, shame, and power of sin.
Yes, the preaching of the cross and its message is foolishness to many who reject it; but it is the power of God to those who believe and accept its life-changing message.
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“For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. . . . For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.”
How can you tackle self-doubt? Let us look at seven steps to do so:
Look at the worst that can happen. You might fail. So what? At least your fear of failure will be removed; isn’t it?
Look at your best performance in the past. If you could do it then, you can certainly repeat that again; can’t you?
Look at all those who are eagerly waiting for you to do your part. Maybe it is your speech, your song, or your batting. Whatever it be they are all looking forward to your success. Isn’t that encouraging?
Look at those closest to you: Your parents, brothers and sisters, teachers, friends, Coach etc. They are people who believe the best about you. They know you can.
Look at the opposition. If they are strong it should bring out the fighting spirit in you. Therefore do not yield to a spirit of despair. You can conquer your doubts and win.
Look to yourself. You are unique; isn’t it? Doubts are not a sign of lack of talent but it is usually nervousness playing its trick before a critical performance. So learn to master it. Self-doubt comes to those who are genuinely talented.
Finally look to God. He is a great encourager. He says “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. I know you by name. You are mine. I have given you both skill and wisdom to perform the tasks I have called you to do. And I will never leave you nor forsake you. Therefore, be strong and courageous!”
“Do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,
Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”
God-given dreams take you through opposition, hatred, and standstills. Circumstances will seem to kill your dreams. But God-given dreams cannot die.
God-given dreams will often bring unlikely people acting a part in its fulfillment. They might act against you, might forget you, might say false stories about you, and even try to shut you in somewhere. But in all these events, God who put the dream in your heart is watching over you.
God-given dreams have an appointed time when all that you thought were lost hopes will suddenly come to life, gather momentum, and roll forward at dizzying speeds. Then all watching will know it is the hand of God that has done it and he has acted on your behalf.
God-given dreams bring great power and authority over people and situations. If you remain humble and do not forget the hardships God took you through to make you reach there, and if you have a forgiving spirit towards those who tried to do you harm; then God will prosper you and make all that you put your hands to, to succeed.
God-given dreams need wisdom from God to act with foresight in trying situations. Such dreams demand that you guard your character and keep it without spot. When all these combine with care and compassion for people, royal doors will open for you.
Finally, God-given dreams are given to those who are tested and tried in the furnace of afflictions that their hearts might be prepared to handle fame, fortune, authority, and power that will be given them. In their hands God-given dreams will find its intended fulfillment and success!
Let us begin the discussion of the science, maths, vocabulary, and art of love in marriage from departures. The tug at the heart at parting when your beloved boards the plane or when the train starts to move is love.
The moment he or she is out of sight and you get back to routines is love becoming realistic.
Till the next coming you keep in touch via phone or mail or chat is love kept aflame.
In between, petty quarrels and bouts of silence is the absence of love.
When needs demand cashing in on reserves and ornaments are pledged for loans it is the in-debt-ed-ness of love.
Comparing your husband’s money power to another or comparing your wife’s looks or beauty to another is the disaster of love.
Remembering birthdays and anniversaries and giving gifts like cards, chocolates, roses, diamond or gold or pearl ornaments etc., is the spice of love.
Praying for one’s beloved wife or husband and being thankful for the gift of your wife or husband is the deposit and investment of love.
Being faithful to one’s husband or wife and staying true to him or her all your life is the honouring of the pledge of love.
Conversing on good old times of meeting together and recalling shared memories is the nostalgia of love.
Having a day out together and an eating out undisturbed by the chores at home is the great escape of and adjustment in love.
When wife and husband is confined to work from home and children are on classes online; everybody is together all the time is the boxing ? match of love.
Making one’s loved one cry through harsh words or thoughtless acts is the blunder of love.
Quoting old forgotten episodes of mistakes and failures and promises not kept and finding fault with in-laws is the bug and virus and faulty DNA of love.
In distress, in sickness, in misunderstanding, in times of lack of affection and care, when you hold on and hope for God’s mercy to strengthen; it is the endurance of love.
Love is not automatic, it is honest hard work, day in and day out. Never take your husband or wife for granted; for when you feel that final absence it is too late to love.
This, in a nutshell, is the the science, maths, vocabulary, and art of love in marriage.
“Marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure”
Science has gone to extraordinary lengths to come up with interesting explanations like Big Bang about origins.
The Bible says all beginnings originated with God. Time, Space, Eternity; all begin and end with God.
In the beginning. God created.
He called to existence things that can be seen from what is not visible. But he made man from the dust of the earth. There was his personal touch and breath of life in man. Man was made in God’s likeness and image with freedom of choice. Therefore man has the capacity to rebel against God.
It is this rebellion in the heart of man that makes him come up with fanciful theories all dated billions of years away and without any cause or beginning. All that is an attempt to dethrone God and substitute him with anything else if God can be kept away. God enthroned in heaven laughs at these attempts.
In the beginning. God created. The heavens and the earth.
Singularity and black holes have brought to light that laws of science that we know here do not hold together there. But are black holes created when stars die? The Bible declares that God created the stars; he calls them each by name and because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing.
Perhaps we are trying to work backwards to understand what is too complex and mysterious instead of simply looking to God and worshipping him with adoration and praise for his infinite wisdom and incomparable power.
In the beginning. God created man, male and female. Yes, God created man a little lower than angels. And crowned him with glory and honour.
If, as Charles Darwin proposed, man evolved and made that final leap from monkeys what is the logic in man wearing dress to cover his shame? No other animal species has this habit; do they? The Bible says man’s sense of shame began when he sinned against God and hid from him when he realised that he was naked.
Then again the evidence of the microscopic as well as the telescopic world proclaim the wisdom of our Creator. Yet we deliberately choose to ignore God.
Still again, why are there so many languages in the world? Research has pointed towards families of languages with common origins. The Bible however points to a historic moment at a place called Babel where man tried to defy God and rebel against his authority by building a tower that reaches up to the heavens. And God confused the languages at that place. Interesting; isn’t it?
The proud will never find God because his head is full with his own ideas and in his heart there is no room for God. But God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.
My friends, God is not against science. Not at all. Mankind has benefited greatly from technology; but is reaping the misuse of science in the hands of those who put profit over people and those who use unethical methods for selfish ends.
Let me end by saying that each discovery that man makes is a proclamation of how small he really is and how ignorant he is of the laws of God that govern the Universe.
It is with great happiness that I stand here to welcome all of you.
As the Chairman of this Film festival I can say that it was a great run-up to this exciting moment.
I know that you are looking ahead with eager faces to see the movie scheduled as the curtain raiser to the current edition of this International Film Festival.
This time for a change we have kept the name of the movie a surprise.
You might wonder why it is so. It is because the movie itself explores the element of curiosity and how it shapes human expectations, handles disappointments and finds success in the pursuit of discovery.
Without keeping you all waiting much more, I welcome the guests of honour, dignitaries, delegates and the media to this function.
We have eminent Directors, reputed and legendary names in the world of Cinema whose very lives revolve around the silver screen here with us tonight. There presence here with us in Thiruvananthapuram, the capital city of God’s own country, Kerala, is in itself a grand showcase of the way this International Film Festival has grown and made a mark in the festive maps of the celluloid world. I welcome you with great pleasure to this inaugural function.
We are greatly honoured to have with us the doyen of Indian cinema, Mr. Amitabh Bachan, the the Big B of Bollywood as our celebrity guest this evening. He, once was the angry young man of Indian cinema. But today he is an iconic figure having inspired millions of viewers with the legacy of larger than life characters he has left behind. His signature voice is recognized everywhere. With loving hearts we welcome you to this film festival.
A special word of welcome to all our friends and passionate movie lovers who have come from different parts of the globe. It has made this gathering here this evening a mix of cultures, perspectives, and blend of voices from the Indian sub-continent, South-east Asia, the Middle East, South America, Africa and Europe.
Yes friends, movies make us reflect and think and ponder. It makes us face questions of ultimate importance in life. The lens through which the story is told is not just about dialogues but about search for truth and meaning; it is not just about songs but soul-stirring music and the power of stillness; it is not just about dashed hopes and cruel injustice but also about stirrings of hope and fight back and survival in the midst of despair.
As we unite together to watch and view and air our own opinions; make judgements and become part of the story-telling traditions passed down to us through generations now enhanced and embellished with the aid of ever-captivating and improving technology; I wish all of you a wonderful fortnight of great cinema viewing on the larger than life screens.
Once again, I welcome all of you to this grand celebration of world-class films that will keep you yearning for more. Thank you.
As many colours are there so also are there many lenses with which to view success. Each will show a different image; coloured by the way each person likes to see success:
Success!
It all starts with a desire to do something worthwhile. Most of us fail right here. Our focus is inward. Trying to receive; but reluctant to give. But blessed is the man who learns to give of his time, talent, treasure and knowledge to others.
Success!
It is one’s ability to stick to a purpose. You can call it constancy to purpose. The oft-quoted example is that of the postal stamp which sticks to the envelope and makes it to the destination.
Success!
It is one’s ability not to wait for seeds to sprout. You might have heard the historic legend of Johnny Appleseed, born John Chapman (September 26, 1774 – February 18, 1845), who went around planting apple seeds across many states in U.S.A. and kept on travelling doing good.
He did not wait for the seeds to sprout. But knew that someday the good that he had planted would multiply when the seeds would sprout and grow and bear fruit. The point I am trying to make is, “He who conducts an orchestra must turn his back to the crowd.”
Success!
Is all about the quest for excellence. Sometime ago I read somewhere that “Michael Angelo painted with a brush in one hand and a candle in the other to prevent his shadow from covering his masterpiece in progress.” Such quest for excellence should inspire us to do better.
Success! It’s all about keeping on moving while waiting. There is a saying by Thomas Alva Edison, “Everything comes to him who hustles while he waits.” What does it mean? To hustle here means to move energetically and rapidly. But how to do it while waiting? that’s the question!
It is with hopes and aspirations, dreams and ambitions that you are on this Campus this morning. You are raring to go.
Everything is new for you–new classrooms, new teachers, new friends and even new technology. But this Institution towers tall and has stood here like a spreading tree of knowledge for decades. So you have come to a place which has a rich tradition.
But we have not fossilized. We have embraced change every step of the way. As you look around you can see how modern the facilities here are. So welcome dear students to a time of zestful living and wonderful learning.
Let me now spell out for you two things you can hold dear as you are here:
One, keep sight of your goals. Life on campus is colourful. There are many activities you can be part of. And I do wish that each one of you will find your part in some of them. We do not want you to be just gathering information from here; but we want you to learn character, discipline, compassion, and above all understand the meaning of life.
But activities should not become distractions. You should never major on minor things. Always keep things in perspective. What is important should never be marginalized. Therefore keep your goals in front of you always. Each day measure the steps you have taken towards your goals. Then you will find success.
Two, love and patience should go hand in hand. Youth is a time when love blooms in spring, blushes, and often fades in the intense heat of summer or becomes frozen in winter’s biting cold. No one has yet found out why and how love begins. Some call it chemistry; others blame it on hormones; and still many to blind chance.
Whatever it be; years of teaching and personal touch with students have taught me one thing–many stories of love, jealousy, misunderstanding, fights, tears, and occasionally happy endings have been scripted here.
But there is one golden thread life-lesson I can share with you. Anything in the name of love that makes you hasty; compels you to yield to a mad rush of emotion; which makes you offer in the fires of pleasure what that is to be guarded with utmost sanctity and care; is not love.
Therefore be patient. Let time test your love. What has to remain will remain. And then when patience has run its course; you will find joy with great peace and lasting friendship accompanying.
Let me conclude. As the Principal of this college, I heartily welcome each one of you wishing you that you find the best time of your life during the course of study here. Never lose sight of your goals and let love be girded and guarded with patience. Life ahead can be exciting. Wish you all God’s best in your studies.
A life without problems does not exist even in fairy tales. Oh yes, they all have happy endings which come only after the hero or heroine endures a lot of difficulties.
So we are left with only one option–that is to face problems with courage, with trust in God, with optimism and with hope.
I believe it is a combination of several positive attitudes that are needed to face problems in life. Let me mention a few of them:
Two, do not think that all who smile all the time have no problems in life. Often they are those who have learned to be joyous in spite of difficulties in life.
Three, travel with hope. You can lose your money, misplace your luggage, have your goods stolen, and even lose your way. Yet there is one thing no one can take away from you–and that is hope.
Four, never ever think that other’s problems are easier to bear for them than your problems are for you. It is simply untrue. The truth is that each problem is unique for the one who bears it. What makes it bearable is grace–divine help and support in troubles.
Finally, try thanking God for problems in life. It was never easy for anyone to do so. But thanking God has several benefits. It puts God on your side.
That doesn’t solve your problems. But it gives you an ability to see it from a different perspective.
A simple way to understand it is to imagine yourself climbing to the top of the nearest hill when you get lost in a forest. You might then be able to see the best approach to take to find a way out.
Again, thanking God makes you a victor over your circumstances instead of you being made a helpless victim of your negative circumstances. See, problems can make you bitter or better. It is all in how you face it.
Listen to the Risen Christ speak with authority: “I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut.” 1 These words have put courage in the hearts of countless men and women down through the centuries.
And today, if a closed door has left you feeling helpless and stranded, here are a few thoughts to think on:
Secondly, look up to God. He can create opportunities where none exists. What he shuts no one can open and what he opens for you, no one can shut. But looking up to God does not mean there are easy answers.
You might have a long wait ahead. And it is often this test of patience that wears you down. Nothing seems to happen while you wait. But that is how it is.
Thirdly, even while you pray to God, sharpen your skills. Learn something new that will help you make the leap when your opportunity comes. If you fail to update your knowledge you will never be able to make yourself prepared and ready for the new thing that will come to your life.
See, when God sent the rain and the flood, he asked Noah to build the ark. Neither had Noah seen rain before; nor had he ever built even a small boat. But he was ready when the flood came. Then the LORD shut him in inside the ark.2 The shut-in experience became a blessing; a place of safety, and an open door to a new beginning in life.
Fourthly, ask, seek, and knock. Look around you. A closed door can mean that you have to change directions. What might have been a success in the past might not be what is needed for the hour. Your willingness to change can be tested at this time. Keep looking for the next opportunity maybe in a new area or domain.
Finally, the most difficult one among all this, thank God for the closed door in your life: Thanking God means that you are admitting that the situation is beyond your wisdom to handle. Thanking God that you trust God to make the next move for you. Thanking God that you understand that God is preparing people and circumstances to match the moment that will make others look at you and say, “See, what God has done!”3
We all fear death. The reality of death should make us think. Why is life on earth brief? Why is there pain, sickness, suffering, and finally death?
I am not trying to be pessimistic but truthful. The Bible declares that the wages of sin is death! Sin here doesn’t refer to some particular wrong in your life but to the problem faced by entire humanity.
Sin as a virus has infected all human beings. No one is exempt from its infection. in fact, the first social distancing happened in the Garden of Eden when man sinned against God. The virus of sin then created a separation between God and man.
Just like one virus infected person can spread the infection to another all mankind got this sin infection in their blood because of the rebellion of our first parents, Adam and Eve, against God in the Garden of Eden.
The Bible also says that not one of us can escape death or earn our salvation or forgiveness by doing good deeds. The bonus points we gain through our good deeds simply do not add up. It falls short.
Why? Because we all are sin-virus infected; we owe a moral debt to God so huge we simply cannot pay on our own. Someone else had to do it for us.
Therefore God send his Son Jesus as a human being to this earth to pour out his innocent blood on the cross to solve the sin problem. This was possible because the blood of Jesus was not infected by the virus of sin as he was born of a virgin. And his sinless life on earth made sure that his blood was not infected by the sin virus.
Therefore Jesus is able to gift eternal life to you who believe in the power of his shed blood on the cross to completely, thoroughly, wash away your sins.
Therefore the Bible declares: “For the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”*
Therefore the gift of salvation.is given free to all who say “Thank You” and receive it.
But that is not all. Jesus came back to life from the dead. He lives forever. And to those who receive the gift, death is not the final curtain. Instead it is the bridge to life never ending!
Short Speeches of Introduction, Welcome, Felicitation, Vote of Thanks!
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*Romans 6:23 Bible
“having canceled out the certificate of debt consisting of decrees against us, which was hostile to us; and He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross”
It is not easy to build again from ruins. For you need to fight against discouragement to attempt rebuilding.
But then think about the cost of not attempting to rebuild your life. Think about all the influences that will make inroads into your life and make your life miserable.
Therefore, now is the time to arise and rebuild your life.
First of all, look to God for help. Human help has limitations. Even with good intentions there are moments when no one can step in to help you. So plug in to the source of your power and strength–God Almighty.
Secondly, you should have a vision about what your life should look like when you finish rebuilding. The most important being the wall or fence that you build around you and your family. See, family is your base camp. Through prayer and trust in God you can build firewalls all around with even angels standing guard.
Thirdly, rally around you people who will encourage you. When you start to rebuild, there will come so many people who will shout at you at every turn that your work cannot be completed. They will point out the huge amount of rubble that needs to be cleared. Do not listen to them. Instead turn your ears to a trusted few who will help you find strength in God.
Finally, do not compromise on watchfulness. When you take a lazy approach to your relationship with God, with your family, towards your work and relationships, you once again are trying to build upon sinking sand. When rains come down, streams rise, and winds blow against; it won’t hold together.
If you can live without breathing, you can live without prayer. Many people miss the joy of prayer because it is always made to be too sacred and religious.
Even a child can pray. Interestingly, toys and gifts will occupy a major portion of the wish list of any child. God welcomes that.
Why? He is not an alien in a remote planet. But he is your heavenly Father. He loves to listen to his child speak with him. If you are his son or daughter, just walk up to him and say, “I love you Abba Father!”
Yes, love is the language of prayer. But often we approach God thinking of him as a strict school master with a cane in hand. Of course, God judges wrong in his children and disciplines them as any loving and responsible parent would.
But more than that he wants you approach him with love and confidence and freedom as a child in the family. You are free to request him anything. You can be honest with God with your pain, your shame, your frustration and your worry. He listens to it all.
There is something more that happens in prayer than you can think of: With the passing of time prayer changes you. Your situations might not change; but in your heart there will be a rising courage, a gift of grace, a daring faith to believe, and a surplus of patience to see you through.
Along with it your heart will melt in tears seeing the holiness of an awesome God come near to you in love, compassion, and understanding like no human being can!
Yes, there is something more that happens in prayer than you can think of: With the passing of time your desires begin to take the shape of what pleases God. Your wish list then is signed, “Give me what you think is best.” You then like an obedient child trust your heavenly Father to provide what is best.
Finally, prayer achieves a beauty and loveliness when your heart and lips unite to thank and praise God for all that he is. It is then that you desire to be near God without asking anything. But being in his risen presence itself becomes prayer.
Let me congratulate the newly wedded couple on this joyous occasion. Our prayers are with you. We share your joy along with your parents, relatives, teachers, and friends.
I take this opportunity to remind you that life ahead is an adventure. It will have its twists and turns. If you can look up to God in prayer and be thankful to him for the gift of each other, then difficulties can be overcome together.
I ask of you to look back at your past as two streams flowing from two different sources. Today, in the sight of God and his people, you have merged into one.
Both of you bring with you the goodness of your faith, the finesse of your godly upbringing, the refinement of your education, and the learning experiences of your workplace. Now they all will mix, blend, and flow together united in love. Therefore, remember you are no longer two, but one!
Today, you are surrounded by all of us. For a few days and weeks it will be a time of hectic visits to the homes of your relatives, the joy of being together, opening of gifts together, looking at wedding photos and videos, and camping out in far away locations.
It won’t be long before you get back to work and the dull routines of life. Then the initial excitement wears off.
At that time, remember to respect each other, celebrate differences, appreciate each other, be kind to one another, say “sorry” and “thank you” without fail, forgive each other, and move on in life together.
Let me remind you that family is God’s creation. In all weddings we find a mirroring of that first wedding God solemnised in the Garden of Eden.
In the beginning, he brought Adam and Eve, a male and a female, and joined them together and blessed them to be fruitful. He wanted children to be brought up in the loving atmosphere of a family.
Therefore, when children come along the way, cherish them as God’s gifts to you. Give them the gift of your time and undivided attention. This is your greatest priority. And the greatest responsibility on earth God has given you.
Finally, let me remind you to love each other passionately. The secret is to fall in love again and again. Don’t take each other for granted.
May you live long and see God’s goodness in your family. May God shine his light upon your paths. May his wisdom guide all your decisions.
Short Speeches of Introduction, Welcome, Felicitation, Vote of Thanks!
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“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”
— 1 Corinthians 13:4–8 Bible (NIV 1984).
“Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled” — Hebrews 13:4 Bible (NASB)
Have you not at least once in your life been fascinated by countless number of stars you saw in a clear night sky? Who created all these? Who hung them in space?
And from where are we watching them all? From the surface of a ball hurtling at immense speed through dark endless space. And what is the size of this beautiful blue and white jewel called Planet Earth?
It is what Carl Sagan famously termed as the pale blue dot, a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena, the only home we’ve ever known. Standing so insignificantly small in such a small playground in space, let me challenge you to ask these four questions:
One, who am I? It is a question about your identity and significance. Am I just matter or is there something more? Do I really matter to others?
Two, where do I come from? It is a question about origin. If you are here by accident then it does not matter. But if you are here because God created you, then you have to ask yourself, “Do I belong to God?”
Three, where am I going to? It is a question about your destination. Is death the end of life? Or is there life beyond death? Is heaven or hell real? What if there is a final judgement? Where am I going to end up?
Four, why am I here? It is a question about purpose. Life has meaning when people are able to find and fulfil what they were created for. Something like an eagle soaring high in the skies.
Well let me conclude. Einstein’s equation like E=mc2, and then the theory of relativity and special theory of relativity have held sway in scientific minds. Mass, energy, change, time, space, speed of light have all been tackled.
But what about answering fundamental questions of life? Are there equations? Is God part of those? If he is taken out of the picture, who remains? God or mankind?
1. Imagined Fears (Grasshopper Vision):
There is a classic account in the Bible where twelve spies are sent by Moses to explore the Promised Land (the Land of Caanan). Ten of them come back with a report that they saw giants in the land and spread a bad report in the camp about the land which disheartened nearly six lakh men in the camp.
Morevover they told the people, “We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them.” This is popularly known as the “grasshopper vision.” All the people believed this report. And instead of stepping out in faith to conquer the land for themselves they marched around in the desert 40 years and lay buried in the sand. They lost their opportunity because they failed to step out because of imagined fears.
But two of the spies (Caleb and Joshua by name) looked ahead to God’s promise to be with them and said, “We can certainly do it.” They were the only ones (out of more than six lakh men) who survived the desert wanderings of 40 years to step into the land of promise. So dear friends, do not dig your own graves by seeing giants on the other side. Instead step out and conquer.
2. Fear of Failure
Are failures so bad after all? If you tell me that failures taste like rotten eggs; I would agree. But does that mean that failures are to be feared? Indeed not.
Think about great players: in football,in cricket, in hockey, in basketball, in swimming, in entertainment etc. Did not all of them have their moments of failure even after being acclaimed great players? Very much, yes! But did they stop playing their game because of it? NO, not at all!
In fact, they are remembered as great because their success is viewed against the backdrop of their failures. In other words they are seen as ordinary human beings capable of failure conquering their goals which made their victories all the more remarkable.
Therefore the final verdict is made not on the basis of your failures or victories but in terms of the passion, commitment and team spirit with which you played the game. So friends, the greatest failure is the failure to step out because you feared failure.
But if you fail when you step out, do so fighting. In that sunset is glory; in that bloodied battle, honour.
3. Fear of Change
All attempts towards progress involve change. And change is resisted by each one of us. It is resisted simply because change is inconvenient.
We are happy with familiar landmarks. Leaving them behind involve stepping out into the future which is unknown. It involves learning new skills, the attitude to adapt, the courage to say goodbye to the comfort of yester years, the passion to build new relationships and of course being enthusiastic about the change itself.
But most of us fear change. If at all we’ve to succeed we need to make ourselves available to the winds of change; not that we surrender our freedom or our integrity to be true to our principles. But we say yes to what is positive in that which change brings along.
So dear friends, let me conclude by asking you to stop being afraid of change. Don’t get stranded on lonely islands. Step into that boat that comes your way. Who knows what treasure lies beyond the horizon; or who might be waiting to receive you on the other side?
Now we’ve seen three fears that keep you away from living life meaningfully. You need to always believe that at any one point in time there is only one like you on planet earth. So make your life count by making a positive impact on all those lives you touch. So friends, step out and make that portion of the world you live in a better place.
Do not cave in to your fears. Instead brave them and live life to the fullest. “A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, . . .” — Jesus Christ.
Olympics is one of the finest expressions of man’s passion to excel, dominate and win. On the other side, the agony and the pain of defeat after having come so close is the stuff that the legend of the Olympics is made of. In this speech today, I would like to highlight perseverance as the key to the Olympic glory.
Failing is one thing; but failing without a true fight is something else. Do we lose the battle even before the game begins? Are victories made in the playing arena or is it worked out in one’s mind already? These are questions worthy of our highest consideration.
Under-achievers try desperately to find short cuts to avoid preparing for performance. But honest hard work is the only way in which preparation can be done. If you can do the unglamorous work of preparation in the shadows; then when the spotlights will focus on you, they’ll see the emergence of a champion like gold coming out purified in the fire!
Dear friends, there is no substitute, I say again, no substitute for “blood, toil, tears and sweat.” The Olympic glory is not a product of rocking away in easy chairs; but is the reward of those whose “faces are marred by dust and sweat and blood,” today.
So many have said this many times, but I am saying it again: “Rome was not built in a day.” Everybody says it feels great to win an Olympic gold. But how long have you to be at it to win? How many heartaches have you to endure?
With what courage will you bounce back from defeats? Will your enthusiasm hold good when all that you built up over the years crumble down into rubble and dust?
Keeping on going for medal gold even when you’re crushed in spirit, even when medal gold seems unattainable, even when detractors say that it is not possible to achieve, is the secret of winning! In one word, perseverance is the key!
Victories in life are not permanent. We find the Olympics throw up new champions every four years. We find the glory of the past achievers pale into insignificance with the arrival of new ones.
So what is the relevance of the Olympic glory? It should teach you and me that life’s most coveted moments might not perhaps be in the victory stands. The lasting legacy might not be the medal you won but the sterling example you leave behind of “how you played the game!”
Dear friends, the Olympic glory is not for the man who is chasing a few nice rabbits here and there when he is hunting a prized lion. He has to keep track of his one goal. He has to keep his eyes focussed. He should see nothing but his victory. He should be able to say No to passions of life and distractions that all others indulge in.
Life continues. The Olympic torch in its journey across oceans and continents represents this continuity. It tells us that a message is being passed on. of a positive message of excellence to the next generation.
Will the next generation remember you as one who fought well; no matter whether you won or lost? Let me conclude in the words of Napoleon Bonaparte, “Victory belongs to the most persevering!”
“What will others think about me?” This is a thought that terrifies many people especially as they get on stage to give a speech. A speaker cannot avoid facing criticism. In fact no one who attempts to do something escapes criticism.
Words of criticism cut sharply and they hurt for a lifetime. It will come in some form or the other. There is no stopping it; any attempt to contain it is like trying to grasp oil with the hand. Though we cannot control criticism levelled against us, how we respond to it is entirely our choice.
Several options are available. Instead of withdrawing or reacting angrily, there is a better option. It is reacting creatively and positively to pain.
This is exactly what an oyster does when a grain of sand gets injected into its body creating terrible pain. It then secretes a fluid and covers that grain of sand. That is how a lovely pearl is made over the years. The oyster’s positive and creative reaction to pain creates something of exquisite beauty and enduring value.
So can your right response to criticism do for you. Always remember, “It is the wounded oyster that mends its shell with pearl.”
Now let us take a look at the Seven Points that will help you face criticism that is levelled against you:
#2. Understand that your value in life is not primarily based on your performance; but in the fact that you are created in the image and likeness of God. There is no one else like you; never was; never will be.
#3. Never lose sight of your goal. Keep travelling hopefully towards it however slow or difficult the progress seems to be. Do not stop to answer every criticism levelled against you. As the proverb says, “The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.”
#4. When the emotions, pain and hurt of biting criticism wears out after a few days, try to evaluate whether there is some truth in what your critics said. If there is a need to correct or change; have the humility to acknowledge your wrong and show the courage to change.
#5. Never play the blame game. Be willing to accept responsibility even if the criticism levelled is against one of your team members.
#6. Often it is our self-righteous attitude (the thought that I am always right and everyone else is wrong attitude) that hurts us when others criticize us. Learn to esteem others and be willing to learn from them.
#7. It is when you believe in your dreams and really go for it that others try to pull you down. It is not a matter of enmity but the fact is that there is a vast majority out there who do not believe that dreams can be achieved. Do not make their problems yours; let it be theirs alone. You go and do what you do best in life.
To conclude, let me remind you once again that there is value in criticism. It shows that there is growth, movement, and progress in your life and attempts. As it is said, “Dog’s don’t bark at parked cars.” Or its variant, “I’ve never seen any dog chase a parked car.” So also people only criticize when you attempt to do things in life.
So criticism is a proof that you are attempting to do something worthwhile. So don’t lose sleep over “What will others think about me?”
It doesn’t take much to build a good habit. If you can aim for five minutes each day it can be done. Brushing one’s teeth is a simple example of the power of habit. We were taught to do it when we were young. The fact that we continue to do it is because of the habit formation that happened in our childhood.
Let me suggest a few habits you can try out each morning for five minutes. We will start with a spiritual habit. Most of us don’t realize that several people across the globe don’t wake up each morning. So be thankful to God for giving you grace to see a new day.
Take five minutes just to praise him, just like the birds do at dawn. Thank him for goodness shown to you. Do not bring in your needs or requests or complaints at this time.
Another habit you can think about us to read something inspirational for five minutes each day. Or you can choose to listen to an inspirational talk. Why is this important? It is important because we all need reminders. We often forget fundamentals. Reading or listening can remind us of basics.
For example, reading from the Book of Proverbs in the Bible can remind you, “All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.”* We have seen a spiritual habit and a habit for engaging your mind.
Now let us look at play. Look around you. What is the sight that you see everywhere. Isn’t it that of the young and old with heads bowed down? Are they praying? No, not at all. It is sad that physical activity has now come down because people find entertainment in mobiles. Nature of work for many also encourage sitting down for long hours.
So make it a point to spend five minutes doing physical exercise. It can not only ensure physical wellness but also contribute to emotional well-being.
Finally, let me conclude with a social habit. Greet people with a smile. If done from your heart it can spread happiness. What better time to do it than when you see a person first thing in the morning? To conclude, let me say that five minutes a day can change the way you dress up for success. Good habits formed can help you win in life like no other.
First and foremost in the culinary art is tradition. There are recipes that have been handed down generations in the family. They not only remind us of a nostalgic past but also the bonds of family and community at large.
The traditional Sadhya of Malayalis with its fine blend of colours and tastes, sweet, sour, and spicy combinations and rice served on green plantain leaves have conquered not only the native palate but the hearts of westerners as well.
The serving of Sadhya during the harvest festival of Onam is very much a part of the tourism package of God’s own country too.
Secondly, the taste of food is not only expertize but also the love with which it is served. We might not remember the specific dishes our mothers cooked for us but we remember the love with which it was served; don’t we?
A homely meal thus becomes superior to even that of dining out at the stand-out makeshift eateries called “thattukadas.” A dinner with all members of family around the table at home was once upon a time a rich tradition in our culture.
Sadly it is now a forgotten memory with other priorities and distractions including time spend on mobile screens stealing away what is to be cherished, valued and held dear to the heart.
Thirdly, food is also a visual delight. Sometimes it is the appearance of the food that tempts and tantalizes us.
In Kerala, the plain white round steaming idli with hot brownish sambar for breakfast can make any mouth water. Or for that matter chicken fried rice strewn with green beans and orange-reddish carrots cut in small pieces is something that makes you want to eat it.
Chefs not only cook tasty food but also make it a point to present them presentably. They call it garnishing. It is a fine art and part of the appeal of good food is the way it is arranged neatly and with an aesthetic sense.
Finally, food nourishes. We all need good nutritious food. In an age and time when fast food and canned food rule the world, with junk food conquering foodie taste buds; if we can return to the organic–to nature’s fruits and vegetables and cereals that are produced in seasons appropriate to it, life can be healthier and better.
To conclude, more than the exotic names of food items that fascinate the hearts of the youth and the advocates of pop culture across the world, the touch of the cold sundae on the tongue on a hot summer’s day is a special delight even as the drops of dew gather outside the tulip-shaped glass slide down!
Short Speeches of Introduction, Welcome, Felicitation, Vote of Thanks!
The Story of a Breakfast by the Sea
One of the moving moments in the life of Jesus Christ happened after his resurrection. A discouraged band of 7 of his disciples go fishing in the Sea of Galilee. The experienced fishermen caught nothing that night.
From the shore Jesus told the men to cast their net on the right side of the boat. Though they did not realize it was Jesus, they obeyed and caught a large number of fish.
Soon they realize that it is the Lord and as they reach the shore they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread. Jesus invited them,
Long distance runners or swimmers probably find the laps immediately after the half-way mark most difficult. That is the time when motivation starts running low and discouragement sets in.
Of course there are individual variations but anyone who has attempted a big project knows all about the pressure that builds on the mind towards the middle.
#1. When your energy is running low do not think of the finishing tape. Think of what you are doing at the present. Just focus on completing that one step. In other words do it one step at a time.
#2. Recollect your motive. What was it that made you attempt this in the first place? When you think of it; your motivation, if it is a genuine one, will come back. Find some way to keep reminding yourself of your mission statement.
#3. Remind yourself that great victories are won by simply holding on when the cause seems hopeless. Do not listen to your emotions which are playing tricks on your mind at the moment. So stay on course no matter how low you feel.
#4. Try to stand in the shoes of a Coach. Imagine you telling somebody in your current situation words of motivation. What will you say? Definitely you won’t ask that person to quit; will you? So the positive words you would imagine telling another will itself pump you up with enthusiasm.
#5. Seek help. There is no need to act brave when you are feeling down. Talk with someone you trust and ventilate your thoughts. Make sure that the person you are talking to is someone who is able to help you see reality in a proper light. After listening to you, he or she will be able to tell you exactly why situations are not as bad as it seems to be.
#7. Make prayer a habit. Those who suddenly think about calling to God for help would possibly find that they don’t have his phone number. But those who are familiar with God by spending time with him daily will find it much easier to tell God how tempted they are to quit. When such an honest prayer is made, God often sends his angels to strengthen you; and often these angels are people whom you least expected to be there for you at that critical hour.
Everyone seems to be angry these days. Outbursts of anger have become common.
#1. The Pressure Cooker
Some people bottle up things on the inside and keep it boiling under tremendous pressure. At some weak point the whole pressure comes out with a loud blowing whistle. It jolts listeners and makes them wonder what really happened to provoke such an outburst.
The solution is simple. Have an outlet. Find a trusted friend with whom you can share on a regular basis what is irritating you. That is a safety valve.
“Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control ” – Proverbs 25:28.
#2. Accept Others
One of the surest ways to have conflict in marriage is when one tries to change the other. This simply does not work. Therefore the husband gets angry at the wife and vice versa.
The surest way such conflicts can be avoided is to understand and accept your husband/wife as a person with shortcomings. And love him/her anyway in spite of all faults.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” – St. Paul (1 Corinthians 13:4–8).
#3. Self-Righteousness
Many people get angry because they think that they are right all the time; and whatever others say is wrong. It is ego at its worst. When combined with pride it becomes destructive.
If you honestly admit, you’ll be able to say that a major percentage of outburst of anger from your part happened because you had the “I am right” attitude.
Why not think there are other people who could be right. And be humble enough to admit the fact that you might not know everything under the sun.
“Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.” — (Ecclesiastes 7:9).
#4. Don’t React Quickly
Sometimes there is a genuine reason why you became angry. But it is good to give yourself time to think. Take a walk and get alone for some time. Do not allow your emotions to do the talking. Think through the problem. And speak (or write) to those concerned after you calm down.
Such a time gap would clarify issues and you’ll be able to deal with the core issue rather than lose yourself in lesser and unimportant issues that can take the power out of your communication.
“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” .” — (James 1:19, 20)
Summing Up
Anger without doubt ruptures relationships. It wounds deeply. Words spoken in anger cannot be taken back. They get struck deep in the hearts of those it wounds.
Is there a remedy? Ask God for help. It might sound too simplistic. But it is always wise to seek his help. For anger, even when one is aware of it as a problem, is not easily overcome.
Anger can have deep roots in a sense of failure in life. It can be caused because you carry bitterness in your heart because somebody wronged you or abused you physically or emotionally.
Anger can come when you feel helpless due to physical weakness or financial lack or shortage. Anger can arise in our hearts when people judge you unjustly, raise false accusations against you and say unkind words of criticism.
Anger can also come when people attribute wrong motives to your good intentions and when they fail to respect you. Let me ask again, is there a remedy?
There might be lots of advice you can find. Common sense, practical advice from friends, counselling; all might help. But these might not address the root cause or causes of the problem.
Personally, I would strongly ask you to seek God’s help in prayer. Cry out to him. Ask him for forgiveness. Seek his help to heal all wounds and hurts and pain caused by your outbursts of anger. Yes, my friend, seek God. You will find mercy with him to help you come out of anger healed!
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“Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret–it leads only to evil.” — Psalm 37:8
“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. — Ephesians 4:26, 27.
“An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins.”– Proverbs 29:22
“Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself snared.” — Proverbs 22:24, 25. [All quotes above from Bible NIV 1984 edition]
Negotiations begin early in life. Children negotiate with each other to gain possession of their favourite toys. Customers negotiate to get the best buy in sales showrooms and shopping malls. Often marriages are arranged after a series of negotiations. Life, it seems, involves more of negotiation than we have dreamed of. If that is true, then let us look at a few things that make a good negotiator:
A good negotiator plans and prepares for negotiations. He should process all available information. He should also learn to anticipate new elements and power plays that might come into play at a later stage in the negotiation process.
A good negotiator always keeps long-range goals in mind. He operates on the basis of mutual trust and respect. He recognizes genuine needs of the other party. So he tries his best to satisfy them even as he gets his point across.
A good negotiator is never afraid to ask. He is not deterred by “No” answers and closed doors. He knocks again, surfaces objections and clarifies doubts. He seeks to reopen bridges of communication. To re-establish dialogue is his highest priority when negotiations are deadlocked.
A good negotiator learns to have an intuitive sense for knowing the best deal. He has an ability to recognize when the other party is holding back or when he has offered the best deal possible. He knows when to concede and how to close without squeezing the other party too tight.
A good negotiator knows that negotiation is not an end in itself but a process. He is aware that both parties are answerable and accountable. Therefore he tries to make negotiations a winning process. It succeeds when both parties are able to carry back satisfactory answers without erosion of mutual trust and respect.
A good negotiator has to be flexible. He should be sure of what he can negotiate about and what he cannot (non-negotiables). When both parties want to have a positive outcome (especially true with relationships), things quickly fall in place. When long-range goals are kept in mind negotiations produce better results than predicted.
A good negotiator is never in a hurry to close a deal. He is a master of the waiting game. But like a cat playing with a mouse (Tom and Jerry), he knows when to go in for the kill. It is all a matter of knowing the right moment. By no means are these thoughts exhaustive. But still it is always good to remember fundamentals.
Above all, remember it is people you are dealing with. They too have dreams, ambitions, aspirations, fear of rejection and failure, and the fear of making mistakes and appearing stupid at the end of the day.
If you can be compassionate even when appearing to be unyielding and tough; you can be a good negotiator. And as a leader, you can not only strike deals, influence people and rally up a team with united purpose behind you but also keep relationships growing. Isn’t that awesome?
“I don’t feel like speaking today,” is that kind of attitude and response which is common with school kids. But you should be made of stronger stuff than that.
I do accept that your problems at home, issues with health, work pressure at office, a broken relationship, and financial struggles are weighing you down. But what about tomorrow. It may or may not bring solutions. So if you don’t speak today you lose an opportunity–a time and opportunity and a moment that will never repeat itself in your life again!
More than that you lose a chance to make a stand for doing what is right. Your emotions will fight tooth and nail to oppose your decision to speak. And, if you allow your emotions to dictate probably you’ll end up doing nothing significant in life.
On the other hand, can you imagine the confidence it will give you if you can step forward and attempt to speak? Sure, you are unprepared. But did you know that some great speeches are born in the fire of “I can’t do it” protestations? So decide to speak no matter what you feel.
You anyway will not solve your problems by not speaking. Therefore step out and speak. Tomorrow you will be able to speak with more grace, eloquence, and confidence simply because today you attempted to speak in spite of your troubles. When you speak today it might not be anywhere near perfection; but that doesn’t matter. What alone matters is the fact that you did not yield to the spirit of despair that said, “I can’t do it!”
Success in life is about your ability to refuse the negativity that wants to dominate you. Success is not about measuring the quality of each speech delivered or every single attempt you make. Success is about keeping on doing what you are good in spite of all of your doubts and fears.
So do it today. Let your voice be heard. Who knows how you might inspire someone else by your courage to speak today! Let me conclude by reminding you that the feeling that “I can’t do it”is a deception and a lie. You can if you are simply willing to try.
Fear is common to all. Some fear the dark; some others spiders or snakes or cockroaches; some others fear public speaking. Let us look at some of the most common excuses given to avoid speaking in public.
#1. My English Vocabulary Is Poor
Let me put across a sentence to you: I today bike ride came office. I hope you got the meaning. Did I use proper grammar here? No. But did you get the idea I wanted to convey. Yes. The truth is that you don’t need big words nor grammar to communicate. But it is great if you can use correct English.
Without grammar it is probably like riding a car on a bumpy road; while on the other hand it will seem like a glide. And you don’t need big words to communicate well. Robert Frost’s “The woods are lovely, dark and deep, And I have promises to keep, And miles to go before I sleep, And miles to go before I sleep,” continues to fascinate readers. The depth of meaning communicated is huge; but the words chosen are simple for even a little child to understand. So also you go for simple words.
#2. I Forgot My Points Last Time
All speakers experience this from time to time. The simplest thing you can do is to note down the main headings of your speech on a card. Keep it with you. The confidence it brings, and the freedom you feel is big. Give your notes an occasional glance. That is all that is needed to keep your worries away.
It is like the confidence a car driver has because of him having a stepney or spare tyre ready in case of a puncture on road. In case you need additional help, just note down a few key words in big bold letters underneath the main headings. That will reassure you that your mind will not go blank when you speak. You can even make the note cards colourful with highlighters, crayons or sketch pen markings.
#3. I Don’t Have Enough Knowledge
Now this is true for many. But should it stop you from speaking? No. Then what is the best thing you can do. Create a habit of reading. Keep notes of what you read. You can refer to them when you prepare a talk. The problem comes when you take a plain, simple, direct approach to the topic. Instead try to have depth in your talk.
For example when you talk about marriage; do not limit your talk to simply love in marriage. You can talk about the role of compatibility, finances, cultural and ideological conflicts, parental influences, work-life balance, raising up children, and of course guarding your married life from eroding influences from all around.
If you want to talk about the Cross; along with the primary understanding that it was about God’s love for you and Jesus’ once for all sacrifice for sins for all mankind; you can also add it is God’s plus sign with a vertical plane pointing to man’s upward relationship with God (love towards God) and a horizontal plane denoting our relationship with our neighbours (love for others).
#4. I Feel Like a Failure
The speaker on stage is like a lone man in a battlefield facing an army unit of hundreds. No wonder he feels vulnerable. If the speaker is thinking about how best he is delivering his speech; he is trying an impossible task. Feeling like a failure is the only result possible. The practical point is that emotions are at play when you try to assess your speech during or immediately following your speech.
Like wild waves of the sea it will hit you. Be like a rock. Or else it will drown you. The truth is that because you tried to do your best; you are not a failure. But there is always room for improvement. You need also to understand that speeches can fail in spite of your best effort. Therefore the best attitude is to prepare best, deliver best and move on and try to improve upon the best you did last time. In such a pursuit you reach towards excellence.
#5. What Do I Do with My Hands?
Some hold the Mike; others the lectern; and still others cut the air with both hands. Some rub the chin, others twist their hair and still others play with their dress. Yes it takes time to master what to do with your hands. When you are nervous, you tend to use hand movements more than what is needed or necessary.
So it is important to identify what mannerisms you have and replace them with meaningful actions. Ask a trusted friend to help you with this. Watching a video of your presentation might discourage you; so a friend’s help is best.
Know that actions have more impact when you put your whole body behind it. Actions also are more emphasized when what you say and what you show with your hands speak the same thing. As you grow in experience you will learn to be more comfortable using your hands well while speaking.
#6. I Have Nothing Interesting to Say
There are two sides to this. One is content, the other is how you say it. Well, how you say it will take some time to master. But you can always pick up threads from your life and weave it into colourful stories.
A person who says a true story well will have his audience listen to him with interest. So dig deep into your memories and you will find a treasure of stories to share.
#7. What Will Others Think About Me
People have so many things to think and worry about already. So it is foolishness to think that they have suspended all that to think about you–your dress, your fluency, your mistakes and so on. With the kind of high engagement people have with social media and their mobiles; it is highly likely that they don’t have any time to think about you.
Why worry therefore what others think about you? By the way, do you have any control over what anyone thinks about you; be it good or bad? Hope you got the point. You just focus on delivering your speech as best you can today. Even if you try hard; you can never please all in your audience. Can you?
Let me tell you a secret. There is no single secret that works when you are nervous. But hold on. First of all; be assured that you will not die due to stage fright.
Now if your mind goes blank; next time you go on stage you can be bold that you cannot go worse than the last time. Have a look at your audience. They are expecting you to succeed. Isn’t that great? So smile. It simply helps. And be pleasantly surprised to see some smile back at you. It will ease tension anyway!
By the way you will rarely get an ideal audience. There will be babies crying; organizers running around, microphones howling, people engaged in social media. The best thing to do is to focus your eyes on a few who seem eager to listen and speak.
What if you were asked to speak at the last minute? Don’t let the opportunity pass. See it as a chance to try your luck. The chances are you will do much better than you ever dreamed of. A simple tip is to focus on one idea and start. As you speak some more ideas will certainly come.
And if you were prepared; but forgot your notes; don’t panic. Ask for a sheet of paper and pick a pen. Just note down the main points from memory and keep it with you. You will do well. Well, we all have bad days when our speeches are not well delivered.
After all, we are not robots. Our best efforts as human beings are capable of being improved. So speak without fear. While stage fright, which is irrational fear, can be overcome, the truth is that nervousness before speaking will always be there. Just as you have no control over your shadow; you have no control over nervousness as well.
Often it will be at its peak when you are best prepared. It is then that you feel you have forgotten everything; even the opening lines. But the good news is that it is this very same nervousness that makes a person run away from stage; and on the other hand makes another give a thundering oration.
So welcome nervousness on board as a friend. Then instead of fighting against you; it will fight for you!
