I would like to share a story that happened at Christ Nagar School1 where I had done my schooling in VIII C Class during the third term. The year was 1986, the year remembered for Argentina’s FIFA World Cup win under Diego Maradonna’s mesmerizing captaincy.
At the end of first term our English Teacher left because he got a job elsewhere. At the end of the second term the same thing happened with our next English Teacher too. Then our beloved Principal, Rev. Fr. Gerard Thevalasseril, a genius as well as a strict disciplinarian, himself came to teach us English even though he was known to teach history.
One day (I distinctly remember I was seated on the second bench, middle row), he asked me to read a portion of the English lesson that was being taught. I read. Before I sat down he lifted up his hand in a gesture of blessing and said, “Good reading, you are going to become an orator.”
I did not understand the word “orator.” And I did not have the courage to ask him then. We were all really afraid of him. He commanded that kind of respect from all of us.
So I went home and looked up the word in the Oxford pocket dictionary. The meaning was given as “good public speaker.” I laughed to myself and thought the Principal had gone crazy as I had never given a public speech before. But encouraged by his words I joined for a competition in school a couple of weeks later.
The topic was discipline. I started off with the Principal’s own words which he made it a point to repeat and emphasize on every Monday and Thursday morning school assembly: “Discipline is one’s ability to adjust oneself to the given situation.” Then I said some more of his famous words: “Where there is discipline there is order, where there is order, there is harmony, where there is harmony there is beauty . . .” That was all I could say. And nothing more.
I left the classroom where the competition was held, thinking, “Public speaking is not going to be my cup of tea!” And that was practically my first and last public speaking attempt at school.
But what I thought was not what God had planned as later events proved:
After passing out of school (SSLC) I got chances in elocution competitions in my church where too I made blunderous beginnings. The very first competition I participated in was conducted in Malayalam. Having sought the permission of the judges I spoke in English. I found myself staring at the ground after the first two minutes having run short of ideas amidst audible jeers from a youthful crowd.
And it was only towards the end of the third year at college that I found courage to participate in a debate. The next year as I finished speaking for an elocution competition in the college auditorium, one of my former classmates who chanced to witness it came rushing to me to say, “Bejoy, you wasted four years of college life!”
At that time, I wrote a registered letter to our former School Principal telling him this story I am telling you now. I wrote to him that his words were prophetic: Not only did I become a public speaker but also had begun to train students in public speaking. I was so happy to receive the acknowledgement due slip to the letter (even though his once classy signature had shrunk to a small one due to his prevailing ill health then).
The point of my story is that I had never dreamt of becoming a public speaker or a trainer. But my Principal’s words proved prophetic in my life.
It became even more significant as two of my schoolmates attended my first batch of public speaking as well.
You are not a loser if you believe that you can put in one more effort, one more try, one more attempt to do something in which you have already failed many many times. Be a fighter!
You are not a loser if all that you could do was put a smile on someone’s face by your presence with them in their hour of greatest need.
You are not a loser if you have faith that in spite of all past mistakes and failures in your life; God can put together all those broken pieces to display a design of marvellous beauty and grace.
You are not a loser if you have failed in all your exams, interviews and business attempts; but still have a thankful heart in someone who acknowledges that it was you who helped him or her to succeed in life.
My dear friend, know that loser is a term that others throw carelessly and thoughtlessly at you. Throw that label into the trash can where it rightly belongs. For you are not a loser; but a fighter!
No one else knows what exactly you have passed through; what struggles unknown to others you had to face; and with what unseen tears you wept when people rejected you saying you are a loser. God alone knows and has a record of those.
Therefore, today, if your heart is burdened because others call you a loser; get up from your bed of despair and prove to the world that you are a fighter till the very last. My friend; who knows how you might have inspired someone to get up from their bed of despair by the mere sight of you bravely fight your battles!
Have you tried to find satisfaction in work, in play, in entertainment, in relationships, in love, in pleasures, and even surfing the internet or chatting in social media platforms? Did you succeed?
Look at advertisements. They aim at creating the impression that it will satisfy one or many of your needs. The needs can be varied—it can be your need for comfort, for security, for a greater sense of pride, for happiness, for being loved or respected, for intimacy, for success or for health.
Advertisements promise much, but do they deliver as much?
Well, I know at least one Advertiser who delivers what he promises. It is none other than God himself. One of his invitations and promise made is this.
“Ho! Every one who thirsts, come to the waters;
And you who have no money come, buy and eat.
Come, buy wine and milk
Without money and without cost.
Why do you spend money for what is not bread,
And your wages for what does not satisfy?
Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good,
And delight yourself in abundance1.”
It was made to a people who were about to go into captivity and exile for their sins.
God is promising to satisfy free of cost. There are many thoughts related to this:
One, man is always dissatisfied with the best the earth has got to offer. There are limits to what money can buy.
Two, the best satisfaction a man has is incomplete. There will always be left a vacuum that no earthly pleasure can fill. That is why addictions and enslaving habits need more kicks to satisfy as time passes and they thoroughly deceive at the end.
Three, God sees what is driving you in your pursuit of satisfaction. He not only sees your action, but also sees what that emptiness in your life is that you are seeking to fill.
He cries out to you today: You have forsaken me—the fountain of living waters—and have made broken tanks that cannot hold water!2
Therefore consider. God is simply asking you to come to him. He will satisfy you with the gift of himself. He is no killjoy. Instead in his presence is fullness of joy!3 Drink of the waters he gives; it will quench your deepest longings and ultimately satisfy!
Standing still is difficult. It does not come naturally to any one of us. Like a child who has just learned to walk; our hearts and hands constantly try to grab things fast.
With mobiles in our hands that can compute real fast if some page takes more than a few seconds to load we become impatient.
In the midst of such daily experiences, God commands us to stand still. But those who have tried to do so know that it is more than difficult. We would like to engineer our ideas and try to help God somehow.
Yes, standing still goes against our wisdom. We are used to connect with people, use money power, or influence to get things done. Waiting for God to act is not in our scheme of things.
But God waits. He waits to allow us to come to the end of our strivings. He waits till our strength and resources and wisdom are all exhausted. He waits until we are truly helpless.
Unable to fight one more round when we lie down in the dust; God steps in. He acts decisively.
So today make a deliberate attempt to calm your hearts and minds before God.
He is on his throne and in absolute control of all that is happening in your life. He is concerned for you. Negative circumstances and giant opposition is no match for his wisdom and power.
The only thing he is asking of you and me is to put our confidence and trust in him. Standing still is an outward sign of our faith in God. In such moments our focus is on God himself, how big he is, how great he is, how wise he is, and how great power and resources he commands.
So my dear friend, tell God that you have come to the end of all your ideas. Ask him to step in and tell him you feel helpless. Remember that the battle is God’s. You role is to stand still and watch what God is going to do for you.
When you stand still without running here and there in desperation, there will come people asking you, “On what are you basing this confidence of yours?” Do not let their doubts or their ridicule shake your faith. Stand still. Stand firm and see the deliverance God will bring in your life.
“Man’s extremity is God’s opportunity<” so said John Flavel . Sometimes God acts only when there seems to be no hope to go forward and no possibility of going back. It is then that you have to stand still and not give in to panic.
Short Speeches of Introduction, Welcome, Felicitation, Vote of Thanks!
It’s never too late to start. You should turn your back to the past and walk forward in hope. If it is strength for the journey you are worried about; it is God himself who will be your strength.
It’s never too late to start. None of us are assured of tomorrow. So do not be anxious about what might happen. That is none of your business. But think about how you can make the present opportunity better.
It’s never too late to start. You might have debated long in your mind how to say that you are sorry for the wrong words you used or the mistakes you made. Most of us have passed through it. But if you are genuinely sorry, say it now. It will start to heal a lot of wounds.
It’s never too late to start. So many good things you planned to do, die before they are even born; isn’t it? A perfect start is often a myth; but a small beginning has in it potential to grow and multiply. What matters is not the feebleness of the attempt but that you get things start moving.
It’s never too late to start. Most of us neglect our loved ones at home in the pursuit of our career, hobbies, or even earning more likes and views in social media. But isn’t that sad? Remember what the great cricketer and missionary C. T. Studd said, “The light that shines farthest shines brightest nearest home.” So start to spend more time with your loved ones and make a deliberate effort to show them your love today.
It’s never too late to start. Say No. Most of your troubles can be due to your attempt to please people. Starting today, say no when you are in doubt, when you clearly know that something is wrong, and when you understand that others are trying to manipulate you.
It’s never too late to start to seek God. Just take a moment to say, “I love you, O God.” “Have mercy on me, O God.” “Help me, O my God.” “Guide me, O Lord.” “Give me wisdom to take the right decision.” Or, “Thank you Lord.” In these short and simple prayers, your life can open up to possibilities of God stepping into your life. Seek God today; look into his glorious face, and see the compassion for you in his eyes.
Get up!
Life is more about second chances than you can dream of. Champions and winners script success stories by rising up from the ashes of defeat. They are heartbroken when they see someone else lift the trophy for which they fought with sportsman spirit till the last moment. But that does not prevent them from pursuing their goal to win. You too should be like that. Don’t stay in your bed of despair. This is the time to get up!
Get up!
It might have been years that you stayed in this defeated mode. That doesn’t matter. God is not only the God of your past but of your present and your future as well. He is not limited by all that went wrong in your life. He is not limited by the victim stories you have told yourself and others countless number of times. He is not limited by all your negative circumstances, all those people who tell you that you can’t succeed, or any other force that is bulldozing you at this time. He wants to act decisively in your life. Therefore, get up!
Get up!
This one single act can change the way you think, act, and move forward. It is by taking this first step that you will realize all that the locusts have eaten away in your life. It is this one act of getting up that can change your destiny. Do not wait. Now is the time. This moment is your opportunity. Get up!
“Why are you downcast,
O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Saviour and my God”
One of the questions commonly asked in my training sessions is this: “What will others think about me?” Whether it be professionals or students they share this same concern.
Often I’ve seen many talented speakers in my training sessions make wrong judgements of their own speech. They sport a sad face after they speak. If asked why they look so defeated, the reply usually is, “I did not do well.”
This reaction is usually triggered by a few inattentive participants in the group. The speaker therefore concludes that his or her speech was not worth listening to. The truth is that you cannot judge the quality of your speech by audience reaction alone.
Look at these three incidents and come to your own conclusion regarding, “What will others think about me?”
The first one happened at a recording in All India Radio, Thiruvananthapuram studio. I had sent one of my students to do the recording of a story for Yuvavani a youth programme. She was reading her script in the recording room. From there she could see the computer room through a glass partition.
A few people who were involved in the recording process were talking with each other and laughing in that room. Their jovial chatter posed no threat to my student who was reading her script well because it was a sound-proof room. Yet at one point in time the graph on the computer screen stopped showing the voice-recording. My student had stopped reading!
Surprised by this (because my student was reading well), one of the programme executives came over to her side from the other room. She was asked why she had stopped reading. The reply took the programme executive by surprise.
My student told the programme executive that she had suddenly panicked thinking that all of the programme executives were laughing and joking at her poor reading. How far from the truth it was! The programme executives were sharing some funny stories. It had nothing to do with my student reading her script (this was her first recording experience too).
The second incident happened many years ago at the College Annual Day. It was March 17, 1995. I had the privilege of doing the Reply to the Toast Speech. It was a speech that I had dreamed of doing the last year of my college and I had prepared well to the best of my ability.
After having studied in Mar Ivanios College, University of Kerala, for seven years, I knew a large majority of students seated in the auditorium personally. Yet a couple of minutes after I started to speak there were howls and boos from the jam-packed audience. It took me by surprise because I was delivering a very carefully prepared speech.
I was shaken a little bit because that was the first time I faced such a reaction from the crowd in the college auditorium. That being my last speech (a swan song, so to say) at the auditorium as a student of the college, I felt sad too. But somehow I kept my composure and finished the speech.
After the programme was over, my teachers congratulated me for the wonderful speech I had delivered. Now it really baffled me why then had the crowd created trouble for me while I spoke?
As I thought on this contradiction, the truth dawned on me. There were several speeches that had preceded my speech. The student community were gathered together that day not to listen to speeches but to listen to the songs and enjoy the dance programmes that would follow in the variety entertainment segment.
The students had howled to send across the message that they wanted the cultural programmes to begin quickly. Their howls had nothing to do with the quality of my speech.
So let me come back to that original question, “What will others think about me?” The truth is that they might not be thinking anything negative about you at all. Their reactions might have to do with something else. While you speak, do not try too much to read negative meanings into reactions in the audience.
Let me now move on to the third incident. At National Institute of Personnel Management (Trivandrum Chapter), I asked all my students to read aloud what I had written on the board. After all the twenty-three students had read those lines, I asked one student to stand up and read those lines again. Her reaction took me by surprise.
Almost in tears, she asked me, “Why Sir, why do you want me to read again?” She thought that I had found fault with her reading. The truth was, her reading was so excellent that I wanted the other students to listen to her once again! How wrong an interpretation and negative colouring she had given to the request!
Isn’t it true that we often jump into wrong conclusions from how others react? Therefore, kindly stop thinking too much about what others think about you.
How can you tackle self-doubt? Let us look at seven steps to do so:
Look at the worst that can happen. You might fail. So what? At least your fear of failure will be removed; isn’t it?
Look at your best performance in the past. If you could do it then, you can certainly repeat that again; can’t you?
Look at all those who are eagerly waiting for you to do your part. Maybe it is your speech, your song, or your batting. Whatever it be they are all looking forward to your success. Isn’t that encouraging?
Look at those closest to you: Your parents, brothers and sisters, teachers, friends, Coach etc. They are people who believe the best about you. They know you can.
Look at the opposition. If they are strong it should bring out the fighting spirit in you. Therefore do not yield to a spirit of despair. You can conquer your doubts and win.
Look to yourself. You are unique; isn’t it? Doubts are not a sign of lack of talent but it is usually nervousness playing its trick before a critical performance. So learn to master it. Self-doubt comes to those who are genuinely talented.
Finally look to God. He is a great encourager. He says “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. I know you by name. You are mine. I have given you both skill and wisdom to perform the tasks I have called you to do. And I will never leave you nor forsake you. Therefore, be strong and courageous!”
“Do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,
Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”
God-given dreams take you through opposition, hatred, and standstills. Circumstances will seem to kill your dreams. But God-given dreams cannot die.
God-given dreams will often bring unlikely people acting a part in its fulfillment. They might act against you, might forget you, might say false stories about you, and even try to shut you in somewhere. But in all these events, God who put the dream in your heart is watching over you.
God-given dreams have an appointed time when all that you thought were lost hopes will suddenly come to life, gather momentum, and roll forward at dizzying speeds. Then all watching will know it is the hand of God that has done it and he has acted on your behalf.
God-given dreams bring great power and authority over people and situations. If you remain humble and do not forget the hardships God took you through to make you reach there, and if you have a forgiving spirit towards those who tried to do you harm; then God will prosper you and make all that you put your hands to, to succeed.
God-given dreams need wisdom from God to act with foresight in trying situations. Such dreams demand that you guard your character and keep it without spot. When all these combine with care and compassion for people, royal doors will open for you.
Finally, God-given dreams are given to those who are tested and tried in the furnace of afflictions that their hearts might be prepared to handle fame, fortune, authority, and power that will be given them. In their hands God-given dreams will find its intended fulfillment and success!
Great achievements follow when your pursuits are fuelled by the I Can belief and attitude. When this combines with enthusiasm and perseverance you become unstoppable.
Don’t Give Up
Life often brings unexpected difficulties. Some of them may cause you to feel like a failure. But you should fight back from defeats. Don’t quit when one more attempt might possibly change your fortunes.
Now Is Your Opportunity
You might love to run away from an opportunity because you are not well prepared. It doesn’t matter if you fail; go grab the opportunity and perform now. Waiting for a perfect moment, which never comes, is a deception.
Don’t Fear
There are moments fear grips each one of us. It is easy to yield to it. One way to get out of it is to encourage yourself with the reality of God’s presence with you. There is no greater antidote to fear than that.
You Are Valued
Are you someone who is constantly being compared with your brother or sister or friend or neighbour or colleague? It is a sad situation when you are unable to feel your worth. But remember you are unique. God created no one else on earth like you. He values you and rewards you not by comparing yourself with anyone else but by asking, “Did you faithfully use the talent or potential I gifted you with?”
Cricket World Cup 2011 will showcase some of the great talents of cricket. Not only is it going to be great entertainment it will also witness joy and agony, elation and tears, at the drama of quickly changing fortunes. It is not only about dreams come true but also about rains that steal victory from the deserving. Cricket World Cup, again, is not only about yelling crowds and great expectations; but it also about great wins, closely-fought contests, and unexpected defeats as well. In that sense, the game of cricket is close to life. It is this exciting aspect of how cricket is closely knit to the game of life that I would love to explore in today’s talk, Life Lessons from Cricket.
Cricket is a beautiful game. It not only entertains but educates as well. To a keen observer of the game, cricket teaches motivational secrets that can bring success in life. The basic lesson is that life is a game. It has laws and boundaries. We have to abide by the laws and play according to it. Yet winning remains a great art. Not all players win all the time. But then winning alone is not what matters most; but how one plays the game.
Therefore the question is with what attitude do you approach life? Is it with a negative approach which despairs even before the first ball is bowled? Again, do you approach life with a pessimistic attitude saying that the opposition is strong and their total is big and I will not be able to get there? Or do you believe in your God-given abilities, and try to give it your best shot with a positive never-say-die attitude? Remember, it is the same ball that can take your wicket or that can be hit for a six. Remember that life is short and what is important is to play the game with hope. As King Solomon rightly pointed out; “Anyone who is among the living has hope-even a live dog is better off than a dead lion!”
With that in mind let us look at some life lessons from the game of cricket.
First of all, cricket teaches us that mistakes are common in life. I have often wondered the reason why bowlers are motivated to keep on bowling even when the batsmen are hitting them for boundaries and sixes? The simple reason is that they bowl in the hope that the batsmen will soon commit a mistake. We as viewers of the game are either delighted with the opposition’s mistakes or made sad by our team’s mistakes.
But the game goes on. That is perhaps the highlight. We have seen great batsmen get out for a duck or get run-out. We also have seen great bowlers being hit for many boundaries in an over. All this is part of the game. So let us face the fact that mistakes are common in life. The key to success is not to lose heart when a mistake happens. Instead learn from it; make your skills sharper and try again with renewed spirit the next time. And always be alert to the possibility of mistakes.
Secondly, cricket teaches us that each individual is unique and important even in a team. One big difference between cricket and football and many other team games as well is that in cricket there is greater scope for individual brilliance. In the past there were all-rounders or match-winners who could change the game in their team’s favour very quickly. Kapil Dev, Imran Khan, Richard Hadlee, Ian Botham, were all consistent players who could change a game with bat or ball. And there were players who epitomized the joy of fielding like Jonty Rhodes who could turn the tide by his brilliant fielding alone. In modern cricket, such players are called game-changers.
What makes a player a game-changer? A player who knows his role well; one who knows what is expected of him at any given moment in the game and does exceeding well in bringing his role to perfection is one who is a game-changer. Sachin Tendulkar, who has won the most number of Man of the Match awards in One day Internationals is a classic example. What is the lesson for you? Many young people think that they are not good enough. This is a mistaken thought. You are created unique. Celebrate your uniqueness and find out your role in life and then be the best in that role. Success will then coming knocking at your doorsteps.
Thirdly, cricket teaches us that success comes to those who enjoy the game. If you take a good look at the great names of world cricket, you’ll find that those names that are not forgotten by generations are those of cricketers who played with passion on their sleeves. To them, cricket was not a means of livelihood or brand promotion. Instead they loved the game, dedicated themselves to be masters of it and did hard work to bring their skills to perfection.
They took to the field with sincerity of purpose, were focussed and sweated it out. But above all, they delighted in the opportunity to play for their national team. They took pride in it. Such players have left behind a lasting legacy. The secret is to enjoy playing the game. Likewise in life too we need to learn to enjoy the work we do. Then success will come naturally. To quote the wise King Solomon once again: “Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will serve before kings; he will not serve before obscure men.” Let us also remember the words of Sachin Tendulkar: “Statistics could be a form of reflection of what a player has contributed but for me it is about enjoyment and not statistics”
A few more points related to Life Lessons from Cricket needed to be noted as well. Cricket teaches us that life needs planning. The way a batsman paces an innings well is a sign of his class as well as the fact that he calculates his moment of acceleration with precision. In test cricket a batsman gets ample time to get used to the wicket and the bowling and then start scoring at leisure. But in the limited overs game things are a bit different. Here the batsman’s ability to adapt quickly to the given situation is what makes him a valued player. From the bowler’s point of view, test cricket is a test of one’s endurance while the limited overs game is a question about how quickly he can get wickets or contain the batsman.
All this requires great planning and preparation which includes studying the opposition. Each individual player’s strengths and weakness has to be analysed to have a great game plan. Likewise in life too there should be real planning. Nothing should be left to chance. To quote King Solomon again, “Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest.” So plan well. Have confidence in your gifts and talents. Play each ball with the merit it deserves. Treat your opposition with respect. Play according to your game plan and be sure to have a back-up plan if your original planning fails.
The next thought is that cricket teaches us that success in cricket as well as in life is a matter of perseverance. All great players have had their moments of failure. Usually with bad performances in consecutive matches, the media goes to attack the player even if his past records speak for itself. This is especially true with the Indian Media and the pressure of critics is very difficult to handle. Sometimes former players pitch in with harsh and unjust criticism. But great batsmen let their bats do the talking taking failures in their stride. Likewise, great bowlers come back with crucial wicket-taking performances.
Note that all such great players have something in common. They’re winners and they have the passion to win. They never quit. Criticism only fuels their resolve to do their best. We need to remember this quote now long associated with cricket: “Form is temporary; class is permanent.” The life lesson is that you need to weather stormy seasons and endure lean patches in life. You need to always hold on and never quit.
Remember the words of Sir Winston Churchill who said, “Never! Never! Never! Never! give up.” Do not consider a game over till the last ball is bowled for as Napolean Bonaparte said, “Victory belongs to the most persevering.” Do not blame circumstances; one has to learn be a good player in fast wickets and slow-turning pitches at home as well as abroad. Learn to play the game of life with great sportsmanship.
Above all else, cricket teaches us that life is about entertainment. The goal of each player is to do well so as to entertain the audience. How is this done? Through a variety of ways. There is nothing more fascinating to watch than a pace bowler bowling great line and length and have the batsman in a mesmerized hold. There is a kind of rhyme and rhythm to the long run up to the crease and completed by a graceful follow through.
A spinner on the other hand often tricks a batsman by his flight and varied pace and turn. Or is there anything more lovely than an exciting cover drive, or a straight drive which gives no chance to any fielder, or a lofted six over long off or long on?
What about a batsman dancing down the wicket to do so. What about the poetry of a hook shot to a bouncer or the brute force of a pull shot that races to the ropes like lightning. Words fail me to say about the drama of run-outs, stumpings, quick-reflex catches in the slips and forward short-leg, dramatic stops at the boundary line; so on and so forth.
The quick running between wickets, the raised bat as a batsman reaches a milestone, a bowler’s elation at the sound of the cricket ball hitting the stumps; the running in of players to the centre to crowd around and celebrate; what fantastic entertainment is this!
Young friends, life is not just about existence. Instead it is about living life to the fullest. It is about utilizing your fullest potential not just to achieve fame or fortune but more to inspire others to do well. This is a great privilege and responsibility. You can inspire others by your great performances. As Helen Keller, who inspired many by her triumph over great odds in life, once wrote , “When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life of another.”
That is what exactly happened in the 1983 World Cup with Kapil Dev’s unbeaten 175 against Zimbabwe. It was nothing short of a miracle as when he came in to bat India were 17 for the loss of 5 wickets. Kapil recently said this about that great knock: “I was too young at that time to understand the emotions. Now after so many years, the achievement has finally sunk in and I realize it was a truly great one. God creates a day for sportspeople and that day was mine.”
Finally, cricket teaches us the art of finishing well. Often in the game we find teams starting off well while batting. When everything seems to be going great and commentators start projecting big final scores there is a sudden middle-order collapse which is soon followed by some bowler finishing off the tail.
Though not every match goes according to this script, it is vitally important to note that many teams fail to follow through the good work they do at the beginning of an innings. This can be due to overconfidence, concentration loss, allowing pressure of the situation to get the better of one’s nerves, carelessness or sometimes poor decision-making. Whatever it be, the team that wins is one that has one or two players who are great finishers.
Finishing well is definitely a great art. For example, during the golden days of West Indian Cricket, there was a kind of habit with the West Indian batsmen to finish off every game with a six. Likewise each one of us should determine early in life to finish well. Otherwise you’ll be rattled at the crossroads of life when life takes unexpected twists and turns. Sadly very few cricket players have ended the long innings of their career on a high note. Others waited to be dropped from the team before announcing retirement. But a few like Steve Waugh and Muttiah Muralitharan finished their test careers in blazing glory as if it were a fairy tale ending.
Let me sum up the main highlights once again:
Cricket is a beautiful game. It not only entertains but educates as well. Cricket teaches us that mistakes are common in life. It teaches us that each individual is unique and important even in a team and that success belongs to those who enjoy the game best. Further, cricket teaches us that life needs planning and preparation and shows us that perseverance is the key to leave a lasting legacy behind. Above all, cricket teaches us that life is about entertainment meaning that life is to be lived out to its fullest God-given potential so that you’ll inspire others with your performances. Beyond all this cricket teaches us the art of finishing well in life. To conclude, great cricket legends never die; they just fade away!
As many colours are there so also are there many lenses with which to view success. Each will show a different image; coloured by the way each person likes to see success:
Success!
It all starts with a desire to do something worthwhile. Most of us fail right here. Our focus is inward. Trying to receive; but reluctant to give. But blessed is the man who learns to give of his time, talent, treasure and knowledge to others.
Success!
It is one’s ability to stick to a purpose. You can call it constancy to purpose. The oft-quoted example is that of the postal stamp which sticks to the envelope and makes it to the destination.
Success!
It is one’s ability not to wait for seeds to sprout. You might have heard the historic legend of Johnny Appleseed, born John Chapman (September 26, 1774 – February 18, 1845), who went around planting apple seeds across many states in U.S.A. and kept on travelling doing good.
He did not wait for the seeds to sprout. But knew that someday the good that he had planted would multiply when the seeds would sprout and grow and bear fruit. The point I am trying to make is, “He who conducts an orchestra must turn his back to the crowd.”
Success!
Is all about the quest for excellence. Sometime ago I read somewhere that “Michael Angelo painted with a brush in one hand and a candle in the other to prevent his shadow from covering his masterpiece in progress.” Such quest for excellence should inspire us to do better.
Success! It’s all about keeping on moving while waiting. There is a saying by Thomas Alva Edison, “Everything comes to him who hustles while he waits.” What does it mean? To hustle here means to move energetically and rapidly. But how to do it while waiting? that’s the question!
It is with hopes and aspirations, dreams and ambitions that you are on this Campus this morning. You are raring to go.
Everything is new for you–new classrooms, new teachers, new friends and even new technology. But this Institution towers tall and has stood here like a spreading tree of knowledge for decades. So you have come to a place which has a rich tradition.
But we have not fossilized. We have embraced change every step of the way. As you look around you can see how modern the facilities here are. So welcome dear students to a time of zestful living and wonderful learning.
Let me now spell out for you two things you can hold dear as you are here:
One, keep sight of your goals. Life on campus is colourful. There are many activities you can be part of. And I do wish that each one of you will find your part in some of them. We do not want you to be just gathering information from here; but we want you to learn character, discipline, compassion, and above all understand the meaning of life.
But activities should not become distractions. You should never major on minor things. Always keep things in perspective. What is important should never be marginalized. Therefore keep your goals in front of you always. Each day measure the steps you have taken towards your goals. Then you will find success.
Two, love and patience should go hand in hand. Youth is a time when love blooms in spring, blushes, and often fades in the intense heat of summer or becomes frozen in winter’s biting cold. No one has yet found out why and how love begins. Some call it chemistry; others blame it on hormones; and still many to blind chance.
Whatever it be; years of teaching and personal touch with students have taught me one thing–many stories of love, jealousy, misunderstanding, fights, tears, and occasionally happy endings have been scripted here.
But there is one golden thread life-lesson I can share with you. Anything in the name of love that makes you hasty; compels you to yield to a mad rush of emotion; which makes you offer in the fires of pleasure what that is to be guarded with utmost sanctity and care; is not love.
Therefore be patient. Let time test your love. What has to remain will remain. And then when patience has run its course; you will find joy with great peace and lasting friendship accompanying.
Let me conclude. As the Principal of this college, I heartily welcome each one of you wishing you that you find the best time of your life during the course of study here. Never lose sight of your goals and let love be girded and guarded with patience. Life ahead can be exciting. Wish you all God’s best in your studies.
Listen to the Risen Christ speak with authority: “I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut.” 1 These words have put courage in the hearts of countless men and women down through the centuries.
And today, if a closed door has left you feeling helpless and stranded, here are a few thoughts to think on:
Secondly, look up to God. He can create opportunities where none exists. What he shuts no one can open and what he opens for you, no one can shut. But looking up to God does not mean there are easy answers.
You might have a long wait ahead. And it is often this test of patience that wears you down. Nothing seems to happen while you wait. But that is how it is.
Thirdly, even while you pray to God, sharpen your skills. Learn something new that will help you make the leap when your opportunity comes. If you fail to update your knowledge you will never be able to make yourself prepared and ready for the new thing that will come to your life.
See, when God sent the rain and the flood, he asked Noah to build the ark. Neither had Noah seen rain before; nor had he ever built even a small boat. But he was ready when the flood came. Then the LORD shut him in inside the ark.2 The shut-in experience became a blessing; a place of safety, and an open door to a new beginning in life.
Fourthly, ask, seek, and knock. Look around you. A closed door can mean that you have to change directions. What might have been a success in the past might not be what is needed for the hour. Your willingness to change can be tested at this time. Keep looking for the next opportunity maybe in a new area or domain.
Finally, the most difficult one among all this, thank God for the closed door in your life: Thanking God means that you are admitting that the situation is beyond your wisdom to handle. Thanking God that you trust God to make the next move for you. Thanking God that you understand that God is preparing people and circumstances to match the moment that will make others look at you and say, “See, what God has done!”3
Regrets are there in every life. Wasted years can be one of them. There is no point looking back and crying over all that was lost.
What you need now is a promise of hope. There is Someone who can enter into your past and bring meaning out of time lost, opportunities gone by, and mistakes made.
You need not worry how God does it. He has promised that if you seek him with all your heart and you turn away from wrong ways and habits in your life he will draw near to you.
Patiently, lovingly, and with a firm hand of discipline, he will taken the broken pieces of your life and stitch, merge, fuse, and mould them together. It might retain the scars of the past. But now the difference will be that they too make the design of your life beautiful.
But believe it or not, you need to yield the control of your life over to him. Unless invited to take over the driver’s seat, God won’t step in.
At times, you might feel like advising him what to do. Avoid this backseat driving tendency. Ah, it takes time and many failures and mistakes to learn that he knows what he is doing.
My dear friend, God loves you. He simply won’t give up on you. He is concerned for you. He will not forget you.
If you can live without breathing, you can live without prayer. Many people miss the joy of prayer because it is always made to be too sacred and religious.
Even a child can pray. Interestingly, toys and gifts will occupy a major portion of the wish list of any child. God welcomes that.
Why? He is not an alien in a remote planet. But he is your heavenly Father. He loves to listen to his child speak with him. If you are his son or daughter, just walk up to him and say, “I love you Abba Father!”
Yes, love is the language of prayer. But often we approach God thinking of him as a strict school master with a cane in hand. Of course, God judges wrong in his children and disciplines them as any loving and responsible parent would.
But more than that he wants you approach him with love and confidence and freedom as a child in the family. You are free to request him anything. You can be honest with God with your pain, your shame, your frustration and your worry. He listens to it all.
There is something more that happens in prayer than you can think of: With the passing of time prayer changes you. Your situations might not change; but in your heart there will be a rising courage, a gift of grace, a daring faith to believe, and a surplus of patience to see you through.
Along with it your heart will melt in tears seeing the holiness of an awesome God come near to you in love, compassion, and understanding like no human being can!
Yes, there is something more that happens in prayer than you can think of: With the passing of time your desires begin to take the shape of what pleases God. Your wish list then is signed, “Give me what you think is best.” You then like an obedient child trust your heavenly Father to provide what is best.
Finally, prayer achieves a beauty and loveliness when your heart and lips unite to thank and praise God for all that he is. It is then that you desire to be near God without asking anything. But being in his risen presence itself becomes prayer.
Perhaps you might not succeed in delivering a great speech this time also! So what? Understand that a speaker is not a once-for-all finished product. Instead the beauty of a speaker is that he or she is being moulded every day. Instead of trying to destroy the flaws; try to blend them into the design.
That means work on your strength as a speaker and being very good at it. Then slowly you’ll find that the shortcomings do not trouble the outcome of the speech. After all, all good speeches are based on lessons learned from plenty of bad speeches. When these lessons are stringed together; it shapes a speech that touches the heart, rouses the intellect, and inspires people.
Nothing Can Substitute You
Some find it painful at first to accept their shortcomings. Yet it is a joyful release of hope and celebration as one finds the truth that he or she is so unique and that nobody can replace him or her no matter what others think of them.
Yes friend, their might be so many things not perfect about you. Yet there is nobody else like you. So celebrate life as God’s gift to you. What better return can you give for that gift than being true to your own self.
So let us stop pretending. We are not actors on a world stage. Instead we are real people with ever so many shortcomings. Each one of us is having infinite value and worth in God’s eyes even though we appear to be of so little worth to others. That is the truth.
And there comes a moment when that truth dawns. This experience is liberating to say the least as far as a speaker is concerned. For the greatest asset a speaker brings on stage is he or she himself. No other visual aid can ever substitute you on stage.
You need not try to be extravagant in your dressing to make a statement. What comes across to the audience much more powerfully is the quiet confidence that you bring onto stage born out of the knowledge that you are making a statement as no one else can!
The Secret Is to Fall in Love
When a man and woman fall in love, the desire to communicate with each other dominates their thoughts. This is the key to being a great speaker.
When the desire to communicate is fuelled by a relevant message you are able to connect with your audience. At this point, your focus is not on fear about speaking; but on how to make yourself understood to the audience.
That brings us to falling in love once again. The moment that happens you want to express your love. It can take the form of gifts,flowers, cards or chocolates. All that means just one thing: “I love you.” That is the big idea, the key thought, and the overriding emotion.
But the fun is that you are thinking about yourself. All your thoughts are on your loved one. This is what should dominate a speaker’s mind–to make the audience understand what he has got to communicate. That is the desire to communicate. When that happens it is goodbye to stage fright and extraordinary delight in speaking!
Starting Trouble
“The human brain is a wonderful organ. It starts to work as soon as you are born and doesn’t stop until you get up to deliver a speech.” When the brain freezes, a beginner-speaker can panic at this point. However hard he tries, he might not get anything to speak on.
But what is the real problem that haunts a person when he tries to find a topic? Is it really that he does not have enough knowledge about something the problem? I don’t think so. The problem is something different. It is a nagging feel of the mind that tells the speaker that what he speaks about might be uninteresting to the audience.
This thought is simply untrue. Anything about you can be made interesting. Your biographical sketch can be interesting; provided it does not boast about “I did this,” and “I did that,” and provided that it does not go for a chronological listing of academic achievements. Instead if you briefly mention some aspect of your academic side that the audience can listen to with delight, then you would succeed.
Likewise, your favourite hobby, ambition, likes and dislikes, relationships, the game you love,movies that you like, are all subjects that can be made into interesting speeches. So next time someone invites you to speak, do not think of complex subjects and panic. Instead think on simple things and speak. For simplicity always appeals. It hides greatness within!
You need not try to take a detailed account of every mistake you make while you speak. Instead take some time to recollect some portion of your speech you had done well. And think of how to excel that performance.
For it is in pushing beyond your best past performances and rising above your limitations that true test of character is found. Such efforts involve most certainly the possibility of failure and more surely the ridicule of lesser mortals.
Your opportunity is now. It is yours when the wind is against you and strongest; and the night at its darkest. With trust in God and with commitment to finish strong, it is surely time to wake up from despair and make your speech and life count.
Organizing Content
If you organize your speech well, then it is easy for the audience to pick out the information you offer. You make listening easy by dividing your content into manageable packets. There are many popular methods to do so. Categorical and chronological arrangements are two such.
Many more ways of organizing content of your speech can be thought of. But the important thing to remember is that you need to cut the big cake to small pieces. And then offer them to your listeners so that they can have one piece at a time.
I Remember It Like Yesterday
The rule of thumb is to describe less but suggest more when you narrate your experiences. Then the audience will listen keenly to your speech and be more involved in it than otherwise. Memories do make speeches colourful.
Yet many of us forget to build a memory bank. Let not your hurts, nor your failures, nor your doubts, nor betrayals that you faced in life take away from you the zest for living. Yes, full participation in life; in its good, gives you great memories.
Then your speech will be spiced with them. And you’ll have an appreciative audience every time you speak.
1. Imagined Fears (Grasshopper Vision):
There is a classic account in the Bible where twelve spies are sent by Moses to explore the Promised Land (the Land of Caanan). Ten of them come back with a report that they saw giants in the land and spread a bad report in the camp about the land which disheartened nearly six lakh men in the camp.
Morevover they told the people, “We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them.” This is popularly known as the “grasshopper vision.” All the people believed this report. And instead of stepping out in faith to conquer the land for themselves they marched around in the desert 40 years and lay buried in the sand. They lost their opportunity because they failed to step out because of imagined fears.
But two of the spies (Caleb and Joshua by name) looked ahead to God’s promise to be with them and said, “We can certainly do it.” They were the only ones (out of more than six lakh men) who survived the desert wanderings of 40 years to step into the land of promise. So dear friends, do not dig your own graves by seeing giants on the other side. Instead step out and conquer.
2. Fear of Failure
Are failures so bad after all? If you tell me that failures taste like rotten eggs; I would agree. But does that mean that failures are to be feared? Indeed not.
Think about great players: in football,in cricket, in hockey, in basketball, in swimming, in entertainment etc. Did not all of them have their moments of failure even after being acclaimed great players? Very much, yes! But did they stop playing their game because of it? NO, not at all!
In fact, they are remembered as great because their success is viewed against the backdrop of their failures. In other words they are seen as ordinary human beings capable of failure conquering their goals which made their victories all the more remarkable.
Therefore the final verdict is made not on the basis of your failures or victories but in terms of the passion, commitment and team spirit with which you played the game. So friends, the greatest failure is the failure to step out because you feared failure.
But if you fail when you step out, do so fighting. In that sunset is glory; in that bloodied battle, honour.
3. Fear of Change
All attempts towards progress involve change. And change is resisted by each one of us. It is resisted simply because change is inconvenient.
We are happy with familiar landmarks. Leaving them behind involve stepping out into the future which is unknown. It involves learning new skills, the attitude to adapt, the courage to say goodbye to the comfort of yester years, the passion to build new relationships and of course being enthusiastic about the change itself.
But most of us fear change. If at all we’ve to succeed we need to make ourselves available to the winds of change; not that we surrender our freedom or our integrity to be true to our principles. But we say yes to what is positive in that which change brings along.
So dear friends, let me conclude by asking you to stop being afraid of change. Don’t get stranded on lonely islands. Step into that boat that comes your way. Who knows what treasure lies beyond the horizon; or who might be waiting to receive you on the other side?
Now we’ve seen three fears that keep you away from living life meaningfully. You need to always believe that at any one point in time there is only one like you on planet earth. So make your life count by making a positive impact on all those lives you touch. So friends, step out and make that portion of the world you live in a better place.
Do not cave in to your fears. Instead brave them and live life to the fullest. “A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, . . .” — Jesus Christ.
Olympics is one of the finest expressions of man’s passion to excel, dominate and win. On the other side, the agony and the pain of defeat after having come so close is the stuff that the legend of the Olympics is made of. In this speech today, I would like to highlight perseverance as the key to the Olympic glory.
Failing is one thing; but failing without a true fight is something else. Do we lose the battle even before the game begins? Are victories made in the playing arena or is it worked out in one’s mind already? These are questions worthy of our highest consideration.
Under-achievers try desperately to find short cuts to avoid preparing for performance. But honest hard work is the only way in which preparation can be done. If you can do the unglamorous work of preparation in the shadows; then when the spotlights will focus on you, they’ll see the emergence of a champion like gold coming out purified in the fire!
Dear friends, there is no substitute, I say again, no substitute for “blood, toil, tears and sweat.” The Olympic glory is not a product of rocking away in easy chairs; but is the reward of those whose “faces are marred by dust and sweat and blood,” today.
So many have said this many times, but I am saying it again: “Rome was not built in a day.” Everybody says it feels great to win an Olympic gold. But how long have you to be at it to win? How many heartaches have you to endure?
With what courage will you bounce back from defeats? Will your enthusiasm hold good when all that you built up over the years crumble down into rubble and dust?
Keeping on going for medal gold even when you’re crushed in spirit, even when medal gold seems unattainable, even when detractors say that it is not possible to achieve, is the secret of winning! In one word, perseverance is the key!
Victories in life are not permanent. We find the Olympics throw up new champions every four years. We find the glory of the past achievers pale into insignificance with the arrival of new ones.
So what is the relevance of the Olympic glory? It should teach you and me that life’s most coveted moments might not perhaps be in the victory stands. The lasting legacy might not be the medal you won but the sterling example you leave behind of “how you played the game!”
Dear friends, the Olympic glory is not for the man who is chasing a few nice rabbits here and there when he is hunting a prized lion. He has to keep track of his one goal. He has to keep his eyes focussed. He should see nothing but his victory. He should be able to say No to passions of life and distractions that all others indulge in.
Life continues. The Olympic torch in its journey across oceans and continents represents this continuity. It tells us that a message is being passed on. of a positive message of excellence to the next generation.
Will the next generation remember you as one who fought well; no matter whether you won or lost? Let me conclude in the words of Napoleon Bonaparte, “Victory belongs to the most persevering!”
“What will others think about me?” This is a thought that terrifies many people especially as they get on stage to give a speech. A speaker cannot avoid facing criticism. In fact no one who attempts to do something escapes criticism.
Words of criticism cut sharply and they hurt for a lifetime. It will come in some form or the other. There is no stopping it; any attempt to contain it is like trying to grasp oil with the hand. Though we cannot control criticism levelled against us, how we respond to it is entirely our choice.
Several options are available. Instead of withdrawing or reacting angrily, there is a better option. It is reacting creatively and positively to pain.
This is exactly what an oyster does when a grain of sand gets injected into its body creating terrible pain. It then secretes a fluid and covers that grain of sand. That is how a lovely pearl is made over the years. The oyster’s positive and creative reaction to pain creates something of exquisite beauty and enduring value.
So can your right response to criticism do for you. Always remember, “It is the wounded oyster that mends its shell with pearl.”
Now let us take a look at the Seven Points that will help you face criticism that is levelled against you:
#2. Understand that your value in life is not primarily based on your performance; but in the fact that you are created in the image and likeness of God. There is no one else like you; never was; never will be.
#3. Never lose sight of your goal. Keep travelling hopefully towards it however slow or difficult the progress seems to be. Do not stop to answer every criticism levelled against you. As the proverb says, “The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.”
#4. When the emotions, pain and hurt of biting criticism wears out after a few days, try to evaluate whether there is some truth in what your critics said. If there is a need to correct or change; have the humility to acknowledge your wrong and show the courage to change.
#5. Never play the blame game. Be willing to accept responsibility even if the criticism levelled is against one of your team members.
#6. Often it is our self-righteous attitude (the thought that I am always right and everyone else is wrong attitude) that hurts us when others criticize us. Learn to esteem others and be willing to learn from them.
#7. It is when you believe in your dreams and really go for it that others try to pull you down. It is not a matter of enmity but the fact is that there is a vast majority out there who do not believe that dreams can be achieved. Do not make their problems yours; let it be theirs alone. You go and do what you do best in life.
To conclude, let me remind you once again that there is value in criticism. It shows that there is growth, movement, and progress in your life and attempts. As it is said, “Dog’s don’t bark at parked cars.” Or its variant, “I’ve never seen any dog chase a parked car.” So also people only criticize when you attempt to do things in life.
So criticism is a proof that you are attempting to do something worthwhile. So don’t lose sleep over “What will others think about me?”
Thank God for all your failures in life. Let those failures be personal, financial, in relationships, or any other; thank God for them all. This is absolutely difficult.
Yet once you start praising God for your failures in life; it simply lifts the burden from your heart. Maintain this attitude of praise throughout the year.
It means that you are willing like a little child to hand over to God all your broken toys and in return get the most beautiful and cherished triumph of creative work and good made out your dismal failures in life. Believe me, though it takes real long time, it works!
Again, when you fail, never lower your standards. I learned this principle from the encounter Simon Peter the expert fisherman of the Sea of Galilee had with Jesus Christ (Refer Luke’s Gospel, Chapter 5).
Once Simon was washing his nets after a long night’s hard work at the sea. Jesus stepped into his empty boat and asked him to keep the boat a little away from shore. From there he taught the crowds. When he finished teaching he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.”
To this Simon said, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.” Remember, Simon Peter was an expert fisherman. He had caught nothing after a hard night’s toil. Not only was his boat empty, but his purse was also empty that day.
Yet against common sense, he obeyed the word of the Lord Jesus Christ and caught a great catch that day and all the fishermen were astonished. It led Simon Peter to worship Christ and follow him!
The point is that the catch is always in the deep; not in shallow waters. It doesn’t matter if after having worked long and hard you have caught nothing.
If you listen to the voice of the Master and obey; you’ll have a great catch indeed! More importantly you discover the path you need to travel to fulfil the purpose of your life.
It doesn’t take much to build a good habit. If you can aim for five minutes each day it can be done. Brushing one’s teeth is a simple example of the power of habit. We were taught to do it when we were young. The fact that we continue to do it is because of the habit formation that happened in our childhood.
Let me suggest a few habits you can try out each morning for five minutes. We will start with a spiritual habit. Most of us don’t realize that several people across the globe don’t wake up each morning. So be thankful to God for giving you grace to see a new day.
Take five minutes just to praise him, just like the birds do at dawn. Thank him for goodness shown to you. Do not bring in your needs or requests or complaints at this time.
Another habit you can think about us to read something inspirational for five minutes each day. Or you can choose to listen to an inspirational talk. Why is this important? It is important because we all need reminders. We often forget fundamentals. Reading or listening can remind us of basics.
For example, reading from the Book of Proverbs in the Bible can remind you, “All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.”* We have seen a spiritual habit and a habit for engaging your mind.
Now let us look at play. Look around you. What is the sight that you see everywhere. Isn’t it that of the young and old with heads bowed down? Are they praying? No, not at all. It is sad that physical activity has now come down because people find entertainment in mobiles. Nature of work for many also encourage sitting down for long hours.
So make it a point to spend five minutes doing physical exercise. It can not only ensure physical wellness but also contribute to emotional well-being.
Finally, let me conclude with a social habit. Greet people with a smile. If done from your heart it can spread happiness. What better time to do it than when you see a person first thing in the morning? To conclude, let me say that five minutes a day can change the way you dress up for success. Good habits formed can help you win in life like no other.
Long distance runners or swimmers probably find the laps immediately after the half-way mark most difficult. That is the time when motivation starts running low and discouragement sets in.
Of course there are individual variations but anyone who has attempted a big project knows all about the pressure that builds on the mind towards the middle.
#1. When your energy is running low do not think of the finishing tape. Think of what you are doing at the present. Just focus on completing that one step. In other words do it one step at a time.
#2. Recollect your motive. What was it that made you attempt this in the first place? When you think of it; your motivation, if it is a genuine one, will come back. Find some way to keep reminding yourself of your mission statement.
#3. Remind yourself that great victories are won by simply holding on when the cause seems hopeless. Do not listen to your emotions which are playing tricks on your mind at the moment. So stay on course no matter how low you feel.
#4. Try to stand in the shoes of a Coach. Imagine you telling somebody in your current situation words of motivation. What will you say? Definitely you won’t ask that person to quit; will you? So the positive words you would imagine telling another will itself pump you up with enthusiasm.
#5. Seek help. There is no need to act brave when you are feeling down. Talk with someone you trust and ventilate your thoughts. Make sure that the person you are talking to is someone who is able to help you see reality in a proper light. After listening to you, he or she will be able to tell you exactly why situations are not as bad as it seems to be.
#7. Make prayer a habit. Those who suddenly think about calling to God for help would possibly find that they don’t have his phone number. But those who are familiar with God by spending time with him daily will find it much easier to tell God how tempted they are to quit. When such an honest prayer is made, God often sends his angels to strengthen you; and often these angels are people whom you least expected to be there for you at that critical hour.
Everyone seems to be angry these days. Outbursts of anger have become common.
#1. The Pressure Cooker
Some people bottle up things on the inside and keep it boiling under tremendous pressure. At some weak point the whole pressure comes out with a loud blowing whistle. It jolts listeners and makes them wonder what really happened to provoke such an outburst.
The solution is simple. Have an outlet. Find a trusted friend with whom you can share on a regular basis what is irritating you. That is a safety valve.
“Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control ” – Proverbs 25:28.
#2. Accept Others
One of the surest ways to have conflict in marriage is when one tries to change the other. This simply does not work. Therefore the husband gets angry at the wife and vice versa.
The surest way such conflicts can be avoided is to understand and accept your husband/wife as a person with shortcomings. And love him/her anyway in spite of all faults.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” – St. Paul (1 Corinthians 13:4–8).
#3. Self-Righteousness
Many people get angry because they think that they are right all the time; and whatever others say is wrong. It is ego at its worst. When combined with pride it becomes destructive.
If you honestly admit, you’ll be able to say that a major percentage of outburst of anger from your part happened because you had the “I am right” attitude.
Why not think there are other people who could be right. And be humble enough to admit the fact that you might not know everything under the sun.
“Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.” — (Ecclesiastes 7:9).
#4. Don’t React Quickly
Sometimes there is a genuine reason why you became angry. But it is good to give yourself time to think. Take a walk and get alone for some time. Do not allow your emotions to do the talking. Think through the problem. And speak (or write) to those concerned after you calm down.
Such a time gap would clarify issues and you’ll be able to deal with the core issue rather than lose yourself in lesser and unimportant issues that can take the power out of your communication.
“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” .” — (James 1:19, 20)
Summing Up
Anger without doubt ruptures relationships. It wounds deeply. Words spoken in anger cannot be taken back. They get struck deep in the hearts of those it wounds.
Is there a remedy? Ask God for help. It might sound too simplistic. But it is always wise to seek his help. For anger, even when one is aware of it as a problem, is not easily overcome.
Anger can have deep roots in a sense of failure in life. It can be caused because you carry bitterness in your heart because somebody wronged you or abused you physically or emotionally.
Anger can come when you feel helpless due to physical weakness or financial lack or shortage. Anger can arise in our hearts when people judge you unjustly, raise false accusations against you and say unkind words of criticism.
Anger can also come when people attribute wrong motives to your good intentions and when they fail to respect you. Let me ask again, is there a remedy?
There might be lots of advice you can find. Common sense, practical advice from friends, counselling; all might help. But these might not address the root cause or causes of the problem.
Personally, I would strongly ask you to seek God’s help in prayer. Cry out to him. Ask him for forgiveness. Seek his help to heal all wounds and hurts and pain caused by your outbursts of anger. Yes, my friend, seek God. You will find mercy with him to help you come out of anger healed!
—
“Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret–it leads only to evil.” — Psalm 37:8
“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. — Ephesians 4:26, 27.
“An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins.”– Proverbs 29:22
“Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself snared.” — Proverbs 22:24, 25. [All quotes above from Bible NIV 1984 edition]
A statue of beauty and marvel is born when the marble allows the chisel to chip away its edges; hidden potential is never brought out without the pain of edges being shaved off sharply.
Prayer works best only when you are ready to change and accept the answer that God in his wisdom delays; he never answers unless you are desperate enough to grab the new and leave old ways behind.
Therefore grow old in years but retain that wonder which provoked the child in you to ask and keep on asking; for when you lose that wonder all is old and nothing new.
—
Inspired by the words of the Bible, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17)
The first thing to do to speak without fear is your willingness to try. Forget about all the lies about your failure the devil whispers in your mind. Instead, be ready to make a fool of yourself on stage.
Let me tell you the truth point blank:
One, you will make mistakes; I don’t know anyone who does not make them on stage; at least once in a while. I know I do.
Two, people will say good things to you like, “You speech was wonderful.” The best thing to do is not to believe it. For it doesn’t mean anything. And probably they have no more knowledge of the craft of speech than you do.
Three, people have too many things to think about already–the bills they have to pay, how to manage their bad boss at office, and the studies of their children that worry them. Do you think they have time to think about your speech and all its faults? I doubt.
Of course, you will feel humiliated when you make mistakes. For we are made of flesh and blood and emotions and mood swings; aren’t we? So, what’s the big deal? Your failure on stage proved you to be a human being. That’s all to it; and nothing more.
Now how to handle criticism levelled against you. It definitely hurts. Why? Because we have strong egos. Now what does than mean? It is the thinking that I am right (always), and I simply can’t be wrong.
Now think about it this way. It doesn’t matter how good or bad your speech was. Think about improving on it. Be dissatisfied with your best efforts. Then you will be able to see criticism helping you on the road to excellence than tearing you apart.
Finally, let me tell you the secret of success I have personally known and experienced in speaking. To me, it has always been the truth of God’s love to me displayed on the Cross of Calvary where Jesus shed his blood and died.
It has also taught me that failures are integral to the process of becoming good. It teaches you more about humility than anything else.
So face your fears honestly. But don’t make it an excuse to run away from speaking situations. Volunteer to speak. Fail. Fail again and again. The time will come when it will be difficult for you to not to succeed. And still if you fail, let it be so. But tomorrow you will try again; won’t you!
In this short speech, let me try to point out three ways that lead to failure.
Reason #1 If you ask me which is the most important reason why people fail; I can confidently say that it is their inability to say NO when confronted with a wrong choice. In other words such people try to please everybody. They are dominated by “What will others think about me?” thinking.
The failure to say NO with boldness the first time they get a chance to do so is the road that takes many through pain and bitterness and sorrow even though the entry to it was often through the gateway of pleasure.
Reason #2 The second major cause of failure in the modern world is the inability to avoid distractions. We live in a noisy world with a lot of voices and sounds everywhere. You cannot walk through the street without being visually attracted to all the colours and brightly lit adverts everywhere. But these are nothing compared to the distractions that come to us through gadgets especially mobile phones and through social media like Whatsapp and facebook.
The trouble with distractions is that they come in good packets which makes it difficult for you to resist. My friends, distractions takes your eyes off your goals and makes you lose sharp focus. As far as I know, there are not many who has achieved success in life without having pursued it with a single-minded aim.
Reason #3 Interestingly, the next reason for failure is something that will bring a smile to your face. It is nothing other than procrastination. Let me ask you how many times have you postponed doing things you should have done? How many times did such delaying of things dishearten you when pending tasks became a little mountain?
If you wish to avoid this trap, ask two questions when confronted with tasks. Is this urgent? Is this important? Having obtained those answers tackle the hardest and toughest task first. And “Never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today,” as Sir Benjamin Franklin said.
There are many other causes for failure. Some among them are, lack of a specific aim or goal; the absence of planning and teamwork, not setting meaningful and realistic deadlines and sticking to it, the inability to persevere in the face of difficulties and setbacks and of course not updating knowledge.
Perhaps you can add many more to this list. But I can assuredly tell you with all confidence that if you work on the three core ideas mentioned in this speech, you can reverse the trend of failure in your life.
Let me repeat those important points once again. To succeed in life, one, learn to say NO with boldness the first time you are confronted with a wrong choice. Two, have the courage to say NO to distractions even when they come in good packets. Three, say NO to laziness; instead prioritize tasks and do things promptly without postponing.
To conclude, let me remind you that winning is a habit in life, a killer instinct you have, fuelled by a burning desire to achieve.
Attitude #1. Winners believe that it is possible to achieve
It goes without saying that all wins happen in our minds before it works out in reality. Winners conquer giants of fear and doubt in their own minds before they enter their playing fields. He who wins the battle in his mind is already a winner. He is not intimidated by opposition however fearful they appear to be.
Attitude#2. Winners see possibilities not problems
So many people lose the joy of living just because they talk about problems all the time. They forget the reality that all people have problems. But winners see problems as opportunities to be innovative, creative and tap hidden potential with enthusiasm. This very difference in outlook makes it possible for a winner to conquer seeming problems with ease.
Attitude#3. Winners do not quit even when others give up
Every highway and byway of life is littered with the bones of those who started well but gave up somewhere during the journey. This happens because it is easy to give up. But it takes blood, toil, tears, and sweat to make a win possible. It is all about persistence and perseverance. Winners are those who have persevered.
Attitude#4. Winners are constant learners
Winners are humble and are willing to learn from others. They do not stop learning. Always observant, they, like a sponge absorb the best from others. It is when people stop learning as soon as they complete their education that they become fossils. A winner is armed with latest information and he therefore is able to make intelligent decisions without loss of valuable time.
Attitude#5. Winners rehearse often and practice their art to perfection
Fools are those who think that it is easy to perform. All great performances come attached with a huge price tag. Long hours of preparation and sweat and practice is what makes a winner perform at his very best when the spotlights are focused on him. A winner labours on while others sleep; and while others relax winners push themselves to rehearse yet one more round. The results follow.
Attitude#6. Winners do not wilt under the pressure of criticism
There is no winner who has not passed through the fires of criticism. Winners do get hurt by criticism; sometimes more badly than the ordinary person. Often winners too feel like giving up. But the difference is that they choose to react positively and creatively to the pain of criticism. They make criticism levelled at them a real tornado of inspiring force to perform better and prove their critics wrong. Criticism thus becomes the fuel that burns and propels winners forward to great victories.
Attitude#7. Winners do not make success a resting place
Winners are those who are always dissatisfied with their best. They are never content in a good sense. Always there is unrest within their hearts. They scan the skies above and always try to soar still higher. Success does not satisfy winners. It only makes them long for more. They do not rest on past victories and laurels.
Attitude#8. Winners give their best in all their attempts
There are people who always look for short cuts in life. If people are not watching they do a shoddy work all the time. But winners are unlike them. They give their best at all times. It does not matter whether it is a small opportunity that has come their way; they’ll do it as if it was the greatest privilege they got in life. Giving hundred percent plus every single time is the way winners do it all the time.
Attitude#9. Winners comeback from the worst situations and pull a win straight from the jaws of defeat
Testing times prove a man or woman for their mettle. Often they stare at defeat. But winners never give up hope. They know that even when the battle is going against them; at any point they are capable of making a comeback. And they do so too; by calling forth energy and resources we thought impossible from a person exhausted from the fight, we find a rallying cry and a shout of triumph as the winner turns the tables in a flash.
Attitude#10. Winners make it possible for others to succeed
There are people who make success an end in itself. They do not see beyond the victories they enjoy in life. But true winners are those who see life in larger and broader perspective. They try to make life easier for others by lending a helping hand. Perhaps the greatest contribution from true winners is that they motivate others to be the best they can be.
I am yet to meet a genuinely talented person who has not passed through a period of loss of confidence in his or her life or career. Certainly these dark periods of doubt have really made people stronger than before.
When you pass through a period of loss of confidence it is quite natural to brood on all negatives and failures that has happened to you. That is self-defeating. Instead of doing this, think of all your best past performances and believe that you can do it again.
Some people accept loss of confidence as a permanent attachment of their lives! How sad to see people live in the belief that they will never get out of loss of confidence. Such a belief is a lie and totally untrue!
What we need to accept is the fact that for a brief passing period of life we have entered a tunnel experience where all is dark. But hold on. Light will break at the end of the tunnel. Loss of confidence therefore should be accepted as a normal part of life but never accepted as a permanent condition. In this acceptance you will find freedom!
At the same time resist the huge temptation to rush things and the attempt to get back to top gear as quickly as possible. But if you attempt to rush things, that attempt is surely going to backfire on you
Instead take your time. Go it slow. Stop your activity and simply do nothing for long periods. Your mind and body need the stops rather than the notes of music at this time. And remember each person in the same situation of loss of confidence takes a different time to recoup and recover. So take your time and do not allow anyone to rush you!
Your goal at the moment is to get back the rhythm and the passion and the enthusiasm and the effortless grace with which you did things in the past. Till you get back to your absolute best, stay contented on the small stage. Your time to roar and soar is just a few days away!
No matter what the darkness in your life; no matter how great the loss you have faced; no matter whether it was your irresponsibility or mistake; no matter how long you have been out of touch with your best; no matter who or what great odds are pitted against you; no matter how depressed and sorrowful you are now; know that with God nothing is impossible.
As King David rightly expressed,: “You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light” (Psalm 18:28). Yes, with God you can. Even before you stop reading this, thank God for the mighty comeback he has enabled in your life. It will happen; it surely will!
A final thought that we need to keep in mind is that loss of confidence is no hopeless condition.
If rightly approached, such a phase in life can bring the best out of us; and can result in an outflow of creative use of our hidden potential and talents. More perhaps has been achieved by people with loss of confidence when they have trusted in the grace of God.
When St. Paul prayed thrice that God would remove a thorn in his flesh (exactly what this source of his loss of confidence was no one knows), the Lord Jesus Christ told him the secret to get the better of it:
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weaknesses.”
Paul, powered by that word of confidence, became a great achiever in spite of all negatives that happened to him in life. So also we too can achieve trusting in the power of the One whose grace is sufficient in all our loss of confidence and whose power energizes us to rise and conquer in spite of all our weaknesses!
Therefore with St. Paul, let us also confidently say, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13 Bible NKJV).
Great dreams are deposited in human hearts by divine hands. Then an ordinary man becomes a dreamer. He starts thinking beyond his time and circumstances. It is soon followed by the dreamer being shaped by his dream.
Dream Big
Dreaming big has many impacts. First of all it changes you from within. It enlarges your heart to think of possibilities. It gives you an increased measure of faith to trust in God. It gives you a sense of destiny. When these kind of things happen you feel a stirring within you to fly high above your circumstances that might be trying to pull you down.
When dreams are lived out it is quite natural to encounter rough weather. It can come in the form of mistakes,unkind criticism, threats, failures, thoughts of giving up, and finally loss in many forms including finance and reputation. But bad times enlarge one’s heart, strengthen one’s resolve, fuel the passion to achieve and steel one’s character with integrity.
Go On. Finish Strong.
The temptation to give up midway into the success story is common to man. It all happens when one loses sight of the finishing tape. Then the focus gets blurred. Other distractions too can easily side-track at this point in time.
Plan Your Innings
It is a great surprise to me to see how many people go through life without any serious planning. All they do is crisis management. Instead if they could have a game plan and stick to it they can have success. Be flexible to change according to what the situation demands without totally destroying the original game plan.
Wisdom to Run Your Business
A lamp cannot burn if there is no supply of oil to it. Likewise a man cannot continue to shed light if his wisdom runs out of supply. He, in order to successfully run an enterprise, needs a continual supply of wisdom. It is needed not only to plan but also to make right decisions. “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously without finding fault, and it will be given to him” (James 1:5 Bible).
Time cannot be bought nor can it be saved. Yet we often procrastinate and allow the doors of opportunity to close. Therefore “Never leave till tomorrow which you can do today” as Benjamin Franklin so wisely observed.
Celebrate What Is That Is Uniquely Yours
Others are usually good at pointing out what you are not good at. But it might take a long time for them or for you yourself to know the worth of the treasure that you carry in your earthen vessel.
But realize that each one of us has a gift of his own. And it is in the exploring, developing, and maturing of that gift to fruitfulness that a person becomes useful to others. Therefore fan into flame the gift of God that is in you.
Failures Do Not Mean the Game Is Over
Perhaps we need to learn to fail successfully:
Of course its primary lesson is sportsman spirit. One has to learn to treat failures with the same courtesy with which one treats successes.
The second lesson of course is to know that failures happen once in a while to the best of men. But we will never lower our standards. And never stop striving to win.
Purpose Is Important
Purpose gives direction to life. It helps you to focus on priorities and not get entangled by the niceties of life. A purpose-driven life is not easily distracted. Instead such a life is relentlessly focussed on achieving the goals and objectives which it had set out to accomplish and finish.
Growth: You Cannot Afford to Stay Still!
Growth in life is a complex process. But its principle is simple. It can be said in two words, “Let go!” And there is much value in those two simple words. Real growth in life comes only when we learn to leave self-defeating habits and negative thinking patterns behind.
“Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will serve before kings; he will not serve before obscure men” (Proverbs 22:29).
Focus
Focus, I believe, is a key element in any success story. Being sure of what you want to do in life and why! When you are focused you will eliminate all good things that are distractions. In modern contexts, gadgets and social media can take your focus away quite easily.
Empty Spaces
Empty spaces can come in the pursuit of any dream. See those blank spaces through the eyes of music which too has empty spaces. “The notes I handle no better than many pianists. But the pauses between the notes — ah, that is where the art resides” so said the noted Austrian classical pianist Artur Schnabel.
Looking at Closed Doors
I have learned from experience that God is in the business of opening and closing doors: “What he opens no one can shut, and what he shuts no one can open . . . See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut (Revelation 3:7b, 8)” is what he has said. Therefore looking ahead with hope and trust in God when doors close is part of a dreamer’s attitude to achieve success.
Loss of Confidence can strike after a series of defeats. It can make you think that you are not worth it and that all your efforts were in vain. It can drain away initiative from you. But surprisingly loss of confidence can happen at the best moments too though I have never discovered why it happens. That is a whole lot more difficult to handle.
Often a smile, an encouraging comment, a positive feedback or an unexpected phone call are those little things that has put confidence in me back again in such situations. If you are able to have one good laugh it can easily restore confidence.
This is the simple and most enduring lesson I have learned: Keep on doing what you are good at in spite of all doubts, despair, discouragement, disillusionment and defeats. And bounce back from most astonishing setbacks.
Leave a Legacy Behind
You leave a legacy behind when you have been able to show someone the stairway they had to climb in life. You leave a legacy behind when you have been a small match lighting up great torches. You leave a legacy behind when you have been able to make a person smile.
The Bible in the words of the Prophet Daniel promises a rich star-studded legacy to those who have tried to live like that: “Those who are wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars for ever and ever (Daniel 12:3)!”
Short Speeches of Introduction, Welcome, Felicitation, Vote of Thanks!“The journey has by no means ended. But when one hits a century it is always an emotional moment. Yet it is also a time to look back and find out what elements had contributed to the success story.”
The above post is a condensation of Century Notes published on the occasion of the Century Batch of Bejoy Peter’s Public Speaking. In the preface I had written then:
“The journey has by no means ended. But when one hits a century it is always an emotional moment. Yet it is also a time to look back and find out what elements had contributed to the success story.”
The 100th Batch of Bejoy Peter’s Public Speaking was held at the Trivandrum YMCA from 2nd July to 14th July, 2007 with 16 students in attendance.
