On a high window sill stood two flower pots. One had a wild red rose full of thorns in it. It was in bloom. The other was a small garden plant. It had a single bud in it. Shades of golden yellow could be faintly seen. But it refused to bloom even when its time had come.
The Wisethorn, for that was the wild rose’s name, asked: “Hey, Bloomy, why don’t you bloom?”
In reply, she said: “I can’t. I’m not so beautiful like roses. I’m afraid whether my petals would come out well. What if the ugly worms put black spots in it? And then what will roses think of a poor little flower like mine?”
The Wisethorn understood. But it did not agree; for it knew better. The Wisethorn had seen even deserts burst into bloom. So it gently whispered a secret in Bloomy’s ears.
She listened. Then she thought, “Well, it sounds too good to be true.” A gentle wind seemed to soothe her mind for a flash of a second. Then it was cloudy again.
She drooped once more.
The Wisethorn was patient. It asked again: “What’s it this time?”
This time Bloomy said, “The wind is too strong and the sun is so hot ….”
The Wisethorn did not shed any tears for her. But it was all ablaze in flaming fury. It thundered the secret once again in Bloomy’s ears. Time stood still.
There was a pause.
Then time began to tick again. The struggle had begun. Other voices shouted in her mind’s ears: “It can’t be done.”
She looked to the Wisethorn again. It seemed to know what it had said. There was an authority in its look.
As eye met eye, she felt a surge of confidence. She said quietly but firmly: “Yes, the bud will bloom! It will! It will!”
It was the death-knell of the other voices. Yeah, Wisethorn’s words had triumphed!
Bloomy knew that her time had come. It was now or never. She had to choose. She had to be what she had to be or else it would be as if it had never been.
The clouds were gathering. The first streaks of lightning lit up the dark sky. Thunder rumbled in the distance.
But a greater fire was burning within her. She longed to be what she was created to be. Bloomy drew a deep breath and raised her head. She knew for sure that her bud would have a sunshine bloom!
That was yesterday. The rains had come and gone. The sun shone.
Now Bloomy was in bloom!
When the first joy of breaking free from the negative thoughts that had bound her was over she turned and greeted Wisethorn. The exhilaration of life’s first triumph was written all across her jubilant face.
Was it a smile? Were it tears? Was it joy or a twinkle in the eye? No one knows; but then it all seemed to say with one heart and one voice, “Thank you, thank you so much!”
All those who saw Bloomy were happy for her. They all said, “You’ve changed, Bloomy!”
But then none knew the word of wisdom Wisethorn had thundered in her ear!
Chocolates are not lollipops. Of course they are not; but both can be enjoyed in a traffic jam in the skies. If you are wondering what they mean; it is all about creativity and imagination.
Chocolates are not lollipops can be the way you look at things. Chocolates can tempt but lollipops can entice; but they mean the same. You end up eating sugar and paying for it.
Chocolates are not lollipops might be about how memorable you can be with words. As we get lost in a flood of chats, some pictures can stay in mind if you can but paint it in flashy strokes.
Chocolates are not lollipops is a reminder that life is sweet the way you see it. If life gets hell-busy then you forget to take time to slow down and relish the warmth of joy of spending quality time with family and friends.
Chocolates are not lollipops bring to our minds the nostalgia of childhood where life looked promising, fresh, colourful, and evergreen. Some of those dreams might be yet inside wrappers; but chocolates and lollipops don’t come without them.
Chocolates are not lollipops in spite of the fact that they hide sweetness within: Chocolates are gifted and it is always elite; while lollipops remain the delight of children who roam in cartoons, comics and legends.
Chocolates are not lollipops tell us that if love is an emotion, then life becomes a rollercoaster ride. But when love is a commitment to believe the best and attempts not to keep a record of wrongs; both forgiveness and forgetting become possible even at the fall of autumn leaves!
It is amazing how Pandemic Covid-19 and lockdowns following it has made YouTube a place of sleeplessness. Most people have started publishing videos on YouTube and are doing live streaming. Most of the learning happens on YouTube now. People have started to search YouTube for answers. DIY tutorials are flooding YouTube. Yes, Youtube Makes the World Go Round!
So what does all this mean?
YouTube Makes the World Go Round means that YouTube has changed the way people seek knowledge. Parents and teachers do not hold the traditional reverence they had. Children at a very young age have started to look to YouTube for answers. And professionals at the other extreme are relying on YouTube and online classes to learn from the experts.
YouTube Makes the World Go Round means that YouTube has changed the way people are entertained. Everywhere you look; be it bus stands, travelling in trains or simply waiting outside the doctors for an appointment, people just use their time to view something on YouTube. Yes, YouTube has the world hooked. Be it travel or culinary art or musical instruments or craft work or painting; it is all happening on YouTube.
YouTube Makes the World Go Round means that YouTube has democratised publishing video content. A reasonably good smartphone and a little bit of creativity is enough to make someone publish good quality content and have people subscribe to their channel. It has made people to become visible almost overnight. Powered by the artificially intelligent search algorithms that bring what you need to your fingertips; it can make unknowns, celebrities in quick time.
YouTube Makes the World Go Round means that it has become a buzz word in the world of advertisement. The immense revenue generated through advertisements is huge. Along with it, people are finding publishing on YouTube a money-generating opportunity. Many are those who make a living out of it while many others jump into the bandwagon hopeful of hitting the jackpot.
Finally, let me conclude saying that YouTube has created a world of its own. The huge amount of talent and creativity and ideas and practical tips that is being discovered each day is immense. No man or woman will live long enough to consume even an infinitesimal fraction of all that is on YouTube. It is a reminder that life is short and life on YouTube should not make you miss all that should be truly valued and cherished in life, love, friendship and more importantly in your relationship with God himself.
Pandemic Covid-19 has changed the global landscape completely. It has made us realize how unpredictable life is. I would like to focus today on the social and humanitarian changes brought about by the pandemic.
The first change that has been effected by the pandemic is social distancing. There is an increased awareness of keeping oneself safe while going about one’s daily routines and businesses. Wearing of masks has become the norm while fashion statements are made through them too. Normal social greeting like handshake has disappeared while smiles are hidden by the masks we wear.
The next change brought about by the pandemic is the isolation and confinement it has brought on the elderly as well as little children below ten years. Many elderly people are now unable to meet their kith and kin due to travel restrictions and the need to stay at home. Children who are used to grow up playing with friends, going to school and having an outing in the park or beach find themselves totally imprisoned within the four walls of their homes. This can seriously affect their socializing and making friendships beyond their immediate neighbourhood.
Again we find classes going digital. It has brought with it possibilities as well as challenges. There are small segments of the student community who do not have access to internet and unable to buy proper gadgets required to continue studies. At the same time geographical boundaries now do not prevent you from taking a course on the area of your interest from esteemed massive open online course provider aimed at professional adults and students like Udemy for example.
Another change we cannot forget is how the definition of work has changed. With the aid of technology Work from home (WFH) has been effectively implemented. It has been prominent in the IT sector. Work from home has created much stress as people are made to work more and be available on duty for more than normal working hours. Reduction of local as well as international travel related to work is also part of the change.
We also need to remember how wedding ceremonies and the way funerals are conducted have changed as a result of the pandemic. We need to see the fact that many top brands have faced a decline in sales as people started to rethink on the futility of displaying the pride of life through brand statements they made.
On the humanitarian side we have a new awareness of how sacrificially medical and paramedical staff including doctors, nurses, volunteers, ambulance drivers etc. has stood along with us to fight the pandemic. We cannot forget the role of the law enforcing agencies which mainly consists of the police and their constant alert and vigilance which has helped us prevent rapid community spread of the Corona virus in many areas. We cannot forget the media which has played a critical role in raising awareness about the need of personal hygiene and the importance of simple hand washing using soap or sanitizers.
But the greatest challenge in the humanitarian front seems to be the plight of daily labourers. This includes, for example, auto drivers. Many people have lost their daily means of sustenance due to less business activities. Many businesses have closed. Any move to normalcy should take into consideration lending a helping hand to those put out of business by enabling them to have access to long-term loans and other infrastructure support.
We also need to seriously consider the attitude of people towards those once affected by Covid and then tested negative. These people should not be discriminated against and awareness should be created so as to how they can come to back to resume their normal life at home as well as in their careers.
Let me end by saying that Pandemic Covid has disrupted life globally. It has a many-sided socio-economic and humanitarian impact. We cannot expect Governments alone to handle the crisis. NGO’s and other organisations have a key role to play in rebuilding normalcy as far as it is possible. We all have a role to play.
Let us approach this situation with trust in God, with optimism and hope. Let us lend a helping hand to all who need it. And let us believe in the words of the old negro spiritual that we shall overcome, we shall overcome, we shall overcome some day, oh, deep in my heart, I do believe, we shall overcome some day! Thank you.
I would like to share a story that happened at Christ Nagar School1 where I had done my schooling in VIII C Class during the third term. The year was 1986, the year remembered for Argentina’s FIFA World Cup win under Diego Maradonna’s mesmerizing captaincy.
At the end of first term our English Teacher left because he got a job elsewhere. At the end of the second term the same thing happened with our next English Teacher too. Then our beloved Principal, Rev. Fr. Gerard Thevalasseril, a genius as well as a strict disciplinarian, himself came to teach us English even though he was known to teach history.
One day (I distinctly remember I was seated on the second bench, middle row), he asked me to read a portion of the English lesson that was being taught. I read. Before I sat down he lifted up his hand in a gesture of blessing and said, “Good reading, you are going to become an orator.”
I did not understand the word “orator.” And I did not have the courage to ask him then. We were all really afraid of him. He commanded that kind of respect from all of us.
So I went home and looked up the word in the Oxford pocket dictionary. The meaning was given as “good public speaker.” I laughed to myself and thought the Principal had gone crazy as I had never given a public speech before. But encouraged by his words I joined for a competition in school a couple of weeks later.
The topic was discipline. I started off with the Principal’s own words which he made it a point to repeat and emphasize on every Monday and Thursday morning school assembly: “Discipline is one’s ability to adjust oneself to the given situation.” Then I said some more of his famous words: “Where there is discipline there is order, where there is order, there is harmony, where there is harmony there is beauty . . .” That was all I could say. And nothing more.
I left the classroom where the competition was held, thinking, “Public speaking is not going to be my cup of tea!” And that was practically my first and last public speaking attempt at school.
But what I thought was not what God had planned as later events proved:
After passing out of school (SSLC) I got chances in elocution competitions in my church where too I made blunderous beginnings. The very first competition I participated in was conducted in Malayalam. Having sought the permission of the judges I spoke in English. I found myself staring at the ground after the first two minutes having run short of ideas amidst audible jeers from a youthful crowd.
And it was only towards the end of the third year at college that I found courage to participate in a debate. The next year as I finished speaking for an elocution competition in the college auditorium, one of my former classmates who chanced to witness it came rushing to me to say, “Bejoy, you wasted four years of college life!”
At that time, I wrote a registered letter to our former School Principal telling him this story I am telling you now. I wrote to him that his words were prophetic: Not only did I become a public speaker but also had begun to train students in public speaking. I was so happy to receive the acknowledgement due slip to the letter (even though his once classy signature had shrunk to a small one due to his prevailing ill health then).
The point of my story is that I had never dreamt of becoming a public speaker or a trainer. But my Principal’s words proved prophetic in my life.
It became even more significant as two of my schoolmates attended my first batch of public speaking as well.
is what makes you desire the best for others, what gives you motivation to sacrifice, what gives meaning to life. A mother’s love is what a child experiences first, but what is open to all to experience is God’s love.
It is an Organization’s unique approach to work that helps shape its culture. Building a world class culture in an Organization is like growing a tree. It will take time to send its roots deep. But once it takes hold it is firm.
Here are the seven must-haves that builds a great culture in any Organization:
Discipline
A positive and vibrant culture happens only with discipline. This discipline is not imposed by rules and regulations, do’s and don’ts. This discipline is self-imposed and not enforced by force and supervision. Instead it is delivered by people who have a passion about their work and a commitment to see their work contribute to the greatness of the brand for which they work for.
Leadership
Culture does not work upwards from the rank and file of an Organization. Instead it is largely determined by the leadership. It begins with a leader’s vision and values. It gathers momentum by the enthusiasm shown by the leader in creating an ambience within the Organization that is in tune with his stated purpose of the Organization’s long-term goals, strategies, career paths for employees and of course people policies. When members of the team align themselves to this; there is rapid growth and progress.
Pride and Meaning
To have a great culture, people in an Organization need to feel meaning in their work. Most of them do not care about the big picture. But they do need to be assured that their role and the work they do makes a significant contribution to the Organization. Only then will they have pride in the Organization they work for. The bottom line is that motivation to embrace culture does not depend entirely on the money one earns; but it depends more on knowing that one’s work is valued.
Freedom, Autonomy, and Responsibility
We all love freedom. And what most people hate is working for bosses who are generally not positively spoken of. An Organization which can give freedom to its employees to work can create a culture which is totally different from an Organization which functions under autocratic hierarchical structures.
Freedom does not mean that employees work randomly and totally at their will and pleasure even if it is work from home. No.
There are expected deliverables against deadlines even when work is done as self-managed teams. Leadership roles change within teams as and when required. The sense of ownership and the way members of team take up responsibility is immense when working like this.
Communication
How do you feel when the Organization keeps you knowledgeable about its progress? How do you feel when they call you for an All-Hands meet and share with you the joy of having accomplished one of your big goals? How do you feel when they inform you truthfully about reversals of fortunes and honestly tell you about some cost-cutting measures that has to be taken? The impact of communication which is clear, direct and purposeful is enormous as far as culture is concerned.
Ideas that boost brand image has to be repeatedly communicated to all within the Organization in creative ways. It will infuse members of the team with confidence and pride.
The “We” feel
Celebrations and coming together are not a waste of money. Instead it creates culture. It creates an immense and invaluable memory bank of good times together. What bonds families is the time they spent together. In the same way, Organizations which create avenues for meaningful get-together is building a rock-solid foundation for retaining their best work force in the best of good will and loyalty.
Purpose
If you want me to single out one word or concept which contributes to great culture, I can answer in one word. That is purpose. It is an understanding of purpose that gives an Organization the reason for its existence. It is an earnest belief in purpose that helps an Organization endure difficult times and come through crises stronger and vibrant than ever before.
It is purpose that determines what business to do and what not to pursue. It is purpose that enables employees to avoid distractions and focus on what is meaningful and absolutely essential. In fact, Organizations thrive when purpose permeates their thinking, attitudes, communication, habits and action.
Short Speeches of Introduction, Welcome, Felicitation, Vote of Thanks!
Featured image: Bejoy Peter, Performance Coach, seen in the backdrop of purpose statement of Mettle Networks, Technopark, Thiruvananthapuram, May 2018.
Some work to make a living. Others work because they are passionate. The first kind of people do things well. The second kind of people pursue excellence at the workplace!
It does not take long for anyone to find out that those who pursue excellence are few. Why is this so? What makes them a rare breed? Let’s find out:
Enjoyment
Those who pursue excellence always enjoy their work. No one has to coax them to go to work. They are eager and enthusiastic about what they do. They do not allow routines to dull their senses to the excitement of a new day and opportunities it presents.
Pride
Those who pursue excellence take pride in their work. They always keep the big picture in mind. This helps them to maintain perspective even when going ahead is not smooth. The knowledge that what they do is significant to the success of the Organization gives them immense drive.
Learning
Those who pursue excellence are constant learners. They do not wait for people to teach them. If they realize that there is a gap in their knowledge level which prevents them doing their best in performing their task, they make it a priority to learn and update themselves. They do not make a distinction about who they are learning from.
Initiative
Those who pursue excellence are ready to take initiative to solve problems If they sense that the team requires their additional help somewhere they volunteer to help. This not only solves the problem but also pumps adrenaline into the rest of the team.
Work Hard
Those who pursue excellence work hard. They are committed to their goals. They are always willing to go the extra mile multiple times. Spending longer hours at work is not at all considered a burden. They do not wait for someone to egg them on. Without fanfare they surpass and do more than what is expected of them.
Credit
Those who pursue excellence do not bother who gets the credit. They are balanced persons knowing their own strengths and not longing for emotional pats on their back. Their focus is always on getting the job done as perfectly as possible and never on how many medals they’ve showcased for themselves in the process. In one word, these people are not at all insecure at the workplace.
Change
Those who pursue excellence constantly assess what kind of changes they need to make to keep themselves sharp and polished. Sometimes, some projects do not take off as expected and some are shelved. Sometimes the market changes so fast that one has to quickly package products and services differently. This calls for courage to change and these people embrace change.
Short Speeches of Introduction, Welcome, Felicitation, Vote of Thanks!
Featured image: “No one flies low at Mettle,” was the concluding line of my introductory speech (11th January 2017) at Mettle Networks as Performance Coach. This was adopted as the Company’s Welcome Display at their Technopark Office, Thiruvananthapuram.
One of the questions commonly asked in my training sessions is this: “What will others think about me?” Whether it be professionals or students they share this same concern.
Often I’ve seen many talented speakers in my training sessions make wrong judgements of their own speech. They sport a sad face after they speak. If asked why they look so defeated, the reply usually is, “I did not do well.”
This reaction is usually triggered by a few inattentive participants in the group. The speaker therefore concludes that his or her speech was not worth listening to. The truth is that you cannot judge the quality of your speech by audience reaction alone.
Look at these three incidents and come to your own conclusion regarding, “What will others think about me?”
The first one happened at a recording in All India Radio, Thiruvananthapuram studio. I had sent one of my students to do the recording of a story for Yuvavani a youth programme. She was reading her script in the recording room. From there she could see the computer room through a glass partition.
A few people who were involved in the recording process were talking with each other and laughing in that room. Their jovial chatter posed no threat to my student who was reading her script well because it was a sound-proof room. Yet at one point in time the graph on the computer screen stopped showing the voice-recording. My student had stopped reading!
Surprised by this (because my student was reading well), one of the programme executives came over to her side from the other room. She was asked why she had stopped reading. The reply took the programme executive by surprise.
My student told the programme executive that she had suddenly panicked thinking that all of the programme executives were laughing and joking at her poor reading. How far from the truth it was! The programme executives were sharing some funny stories. It had nothing to do with my student reading her script (this was her first recording experience too).
The second incident happened many years ago at the College Annual Day. It was March 17, 1995. I had the privilege of doing the Reply to the Toast Speech. It was a speech that I had dreamed of doing the last year of my college and I had prepared well to the best of my ability.
After having studied in Mar Ivanios College, University of Kerala, for seven years, I knew a large majority of students seated in the auditorium personally. Yet a couple of minutes after I started to speak there were howls and boos from the jam-packed audience. It took me by surprise because I was delivering a very carefully prepared speech.
I was shaken a little bit because that was the first time I faced such a reaction from the crowd in the college auditorium. That being my last speech (a swan song, so to say) at the auditorium as a student of the college, I felt sad too. But somehow I kept my composure and finished the speech.
After the programme was over, my teachers congratulated me for the wonderful speech I had delivered. Now it really baffled me why then had the crowd created trouble for me while I spoke?
As I thought on this contradiction, the truth dawned on me. There were several speeches that had preceded my speech. The student community were gathered together that day not to listen to speeches but to listen to the songs and enjoy the dance programmes that would follow in the variety entertainment segment.
The students had howled to send across the message that they wanted the cultural programmes to begin quickly. Their howls had nothing to do with the quality of my speech.
So let me come back to that original question, “What will others think about me?” The truth is that they might not be thinking anything negative about you at all. Their reactions might have to do with something else. While you speak, do not try too much to read negative meanings into reactions in the audience.
Let me now move on to the third incident. At National Institute of Personnel Management (Trivandrum Chapter), I asked all my students to read aloud what I had written on the board. After all the twenty-three students had read those lines, I asked one student to stand up and read those lines again. Her reaction took me by surprise.
Almost in tears, she asked me, “Why Sir, why do you want me to read again?” She thought that I had found fault with her reading. The truth was, her reading was so excellent that I wanted the other students to listen to her once again! How wrong an interpretation and negative colouring she had given to the request!
Isn’t it true that we often jump into wrong conclusions from how others react? Therefore, kindly stop thinking too much about what others think about you.
Let us begin the discussion of the science, maths, vocabulary, and art of love in marriage from departures. The tug at the heart at parting when your beloved boards the plane or when the train starts to move is love.
The moment he or she is out of sight and you get back to routines is love becoming realistic.
Till the next coming you keep in touch via phone or mail or chat is love kept aflame.
In between, petty quarrels and bouts of silence is the absence of love.
When needs demand cashing in on reserves and ornaments are pledged for loans it is the in-debt-ed-ness of love.
Comparing your husband’s money power to another or comparing your wife’s looks or beauty to another is the disaster of love.
Remembering birthdays and anniversaries and giving gifts like cards, chocolates, roses, diamond or gold or pearl ornaments etc., is the spice of love.
Praying for one’s beloved wife or husband and being thankful for the gift of your wife or husband is the deposit and investment of love.
Being faithful to one’s husband or wife and staying true to him or her all your life is the honouring of the pledge of love.
Conversing on good old times of meeting together and recalling shared memories is the nostalgia of love.
Having a day out together and an eating out undisturbed by the chores at home is the great escape of and adjustment in love.
When wife and husband is confined to work from home and children are on classes online; everybody is together all the time is the boxing ? match of love.
Making one’s loved one cry through harsh words or thoughtless acts is the blunder of love.
Quoting old forgotten episodes of mistakes and failures and promises not kept and finding fault with in-laws is the bug and virus and faulty DNA of love.
In distress, in sickness, in misunderstanding, in times of lack of affection and care, when you hold on and hope for God’s mercy to strengthen; it is the endurance of love.
Love is not automatic, it is honest hard work, day in and day out. Never take your husband or wife for granted; for when you feel that final absence it is too late to love.
This, in a nutshell, is the the science, maths, vocabulary, and art of love in marriage.
“Marriage should be honoured by all, and the marriage bed kept pure”
Some of you will be called to lead by choice or chance. It is a privilege but a great responsibility too. Let us look at some key thoughts regarding leadership.
Know where you are going. You should have a clear idea about where you are leading your followers to. You can call this a leader’s vision.
Tell your followers how you are planning to move forward. Without this vital information how will people put their trust in you and follow you? This is what you call leadership communication.
It doesn’t matter if you don’t have good looks. In a world which focuses on external appearances, what really matters in leadership is your character. That is what is on the inside of you. That is what makes people trust you and be loyal to you.
Now think about names of leaders you can recall quickly. You will see that these people are remembered because of the way they served in their domains of service—be it political leadership, corporate leadership, leadership in sports or in Charitable Organisations. But note that their influence has been felt around the globe. Therefore, remember leadership is how much influence and impact you make on others. It cannot be fully measured.
Again, a quality you need as leader is courage. Especially this is important when it comes to facing a crisis. If you can face it with calmness, that itself will make your followers place their confidence in you.
Another area on leadership you should be good at is decisiveness in decision-making. A leader is looked upon to make decisions—be it in your school classroom, in the family, in your Resident’s Association, or in whatever place you are called to lead. Know that a right decision which is delayed can do harm, can be ineffective, or can make people doubt your competence.
Finally, a good leader is focused on developing leadership in his or her followers. See, good leadership doesn’t happen by chance. You should consciously make plans to see that you identitify potential candidates, make them part of your team, encourage them, give them opportunities to act independently in situations demanding leadership, and paint before their mind’s eye a time when they will lead. In doing so, you multiply your effectiveness and ensure that the good work you’ve begun will continue.
But leadership models we often see are quite the opposite. We find leaders busy trying to secure their position by putting down any potential candidate showing promise of future leadership. In this context, listen to the words of Jesus who said:
“Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”1
To conclude, let me tell you that you might not learn everything about leadership in one shot. But know that it is worth studying about. For there is great need today for good leadership in all walks of life.
If you can become a leader who can lead with humility, exercise power vested in you with care and compassion, and are willing to stand by the side of those you lead in their hour of need; you will leave a legacy that will shine out far and wide even beyond your tenure of leadership!
Great achievements follow when your pursuits are fuelled by the I Can belief and attitude. When this combines with enthusiasm and perseverance you become unstoppable.
Don’t Give Up
Life often brings unexpected difficulties. Some of them may cause you to feel like a failure. But you should fight back from defeats. Don’t quit when one more attempt might possibly change your fortunes.
Now Is Your Opportunity
You might love to run away from an opportunity because you are not well prepared. It doesn’t matter if you fail; go grab the opportunity and perform now. Waiting for a perfect moment, which never comes, is a deception.
Don’t Fear
There are moments fear grips each one of us. It is easy to yield to it. One way to get out of it is to encourage yourself with the reality of God’s presence with you. There is no greater antidote to fear than that.
You Are Valued
Are you someone who is constantly being compared with your brother or sister or friend or neighbour or colleague? It is a sad situation when you are unable to feel your worth. But remember you are unique. God created no one else on earth like you. He values you and rewards you not by comparing yourself with anyone else but by asking, “Did you faithfully use the talent or potential I gifted you with?”
Isn’t it amazing that only men and women gather together to talk? And perhaps listen. Other creatures of instinct lack this ability. But how productive are our meetings? Whether it is informal or formal, personal or official? It is good to reflect on this.
First of all, consider others’ time:
Time rolls on. It does not stop for anyone. If you are wise you will use time wisely. Idling away time in gossip and slander is foolish and harmful. As Eleanor Roosevelt observed, “Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.”
So, if you value your time and others’ time, stop spending your time on discussing other people and events. Spend much time discussing ideas. And while you do so do not spend time with those who see only the clouds. But spend some time with those who see the silver lining. And can share your enthusiasm and encourage you on to achieve the ideas you’re working on.
Secondly, consider the value of bouncing ideas:
Ideas are never born mature. It takes time as well as fertilizing to make it grow and take shape. Ideas, like a tennis ball, need to be bounced on solid surfaces. That is why we take our doubts to our
teachers, parents or other seniors who have the maturity to see the value of the ideas we have. And this too happens in a meeting.
When ideas are bounced it helps bring clarity to your mind. The one listening to you can point out to you some important points that might have escaped your attention. He or she also will have the advantage of seeing the bigger picture while you might be struggling with a smaller aspect of the problem. So invite healthy criticism of your ideas. It will help clarify your thoughts.
Finally, tune in to feedback:
Most meetings lose value because many talk but do not listen to what others have to say. They just proclaim and pass on. This creates resentment in the long run. Whether you are the boss or a parent or a husband or a friend; if you fail to tune in to feedback you can lose the warmth of your relationship.
When you listen to feedback, it gives you valuable clues to as to what the other person or party thinks on the issue under discussion. Feedback can be positive. It can at times fail to be enthusiastic. Then you have to seek the cause. It might take some asking but if your relationship is good with the person concerned, he or she will tell you what is hurting them and why. Then you can make adjustments to
your original proposal so as to accommodate their views and ideas and your relationship will be strengthened. And meetings be made more productive.
Tailpiece:
Of course, if the meeting is official the value of having a clear agenda, an efficient moderator or chairman to run the meeting and the ability of the group to stick to the purpose of the meeting; will make a huge difference in its outcome.
My Professor once asked this question in class:
“Whose face do you look for first when you get see the group photo of your class in the College Magazine?”
Each one of us knew the answer as the capital letter I. And now selfies have arrived to make it bold and underlined.
First of all, the popularity of selfies is a reflection of this anxiety in human nature to see oneself in a better light.
Secondly, selfies make people focus on themselves. The amount of time spent by people obsessed with selfies is enormous. It is easy to forget others and their needs in the pursuit of taking selfies.
Thirdly, selfies are a proclamation of our own importance; whether good or bad being a matter of difficult judgement.
Finally, selfies have become, fun, popular and fashionable. It has made photography have different dimension. It will stay.
But my simple question is, “Can there be a selfless selfie?”
Once there was a young boy who walked along with his mother one evening. He skipped around excited and talked about what he saw all around. Soon it was dark. They came back home and sat down on the lawn. As the boy was tired he laid his head on his mother’s lap and looked up at the clear night sky. The twinkling stars were shining like diamonds in black velvet.
He soon stopped talking and became totally silent. His mother sensed something was troubling him and asked, “Son, what are you thinking about?” He replied, “Nothing Mummy.” But she asked once again. “Tell me what is it?” Then the boy said, “Mummy, if the underside of heaven is so beautiful I wonder what the real side would be!”
Yes, there was a time when young children used to look up at the night sky and wonder. But today they grow up with heads bowed down and glued to artificially lit screens of gadgets. The world view of today’s youth is more and more limited to a virtual world dominated by social media like Whatsapp and Facebook. It is very difficult for those addicted to it to live without connecting to these pages every day.
What is the impact of this? Let us look at relationships, education and spirituality.
As far as relationships are concerned, there was a time when members of the family would sit and dine together and communicate openly with each other. Today, because of busy schedules and wrong priorities people do not find time for those within the family. And the saddest moment comes when youngsters find themselves strangers in their own home.
As we look at education, we find that it often fails to equip youngsters to face real life issues. It often fails to teach youngsters the most important lesson of saying NO to compromising situations in life.
In the religious sphere leaders are becoming more earthly minded than heavenly minded. Therefore youngsters are in a real dilemma when they seek out role models to follow.
Where does all these lead to? Youngsters sooner or later become like a boat cut off from its moorings and drifting on the waters without a sense of direction, without an aim or specific goal in life. Of course, they learn their lessons, get good marks, enter into cut throat competition, earn enviable salaries and move ahead in life. But the question is what happens when they lose their jobs suddenly? Or what happens when someone who seemed to show special interest and liking cuts off that relationship without warning and prefer to be with someone else?
It is during such times one’s character and mettle is tested.
It is during such times when youngsters start wondering about the meaning and purpose of life.
It is during such times that youngsters often give up and count themselves failures.
So many choose the wrong roads cutting themselves off from family and friends and waste their precious lives in addictions. Soon they lose their sense of worth and start thinking that nobody cares anymore. When such a negative and demonic thought finds breeding ground in one’s mind a youngster loses all sense of reality and goes on to a downward spiral that often has tragic consequences.
But then is it true that no one cares? Often life can bring situations which make us think it is hopeless to hang in there and live to see another day. Dear friends, when you think that you wasted your life and there is no hope of a positive change do not act hastily. Just hold on and tell yourself that this night will pass and the day will break with new hope and a better tomorrow.
It is this message of hope that is the highlight of the story Jesus told about the prodigal son. Instead of the traditional concept of God standing as a tough school master ready with a cane to punish every single offence, through this story Jesus showed us the Father-heart of God filled with compassion and care for his erring children. The story tells us in compelling terms that God is ready to run to us with the offer of forgiveness and acceptance and friendship if we truly say “Yes, I want to come back to you.”
In today’s world many youngsters need just this assurance of being loved and accepted. Often we demand that they become perfect and righteous before we start loving them. But God is different. He accepts people just the way they are. He specializes in broken lives and works to restore joy and peace in such lives.
So there is hope for tomorrow even if things have gone wrong in your life so far. God can still paint a beautiful picture around that ugly stain that mars your life. Your past mistakes will not prevent you from achieving greatness in life. God can turn even your worst failures into masterpieces of dazzling beauty and craftsmanship.
Beyond all this there is the hope of a greater tomorrow. For God is not just interested in the present. He is thinking of an eternal home where we shall live with him for time without end. He is always thinking about wiping away all the tears from your eyes.
It was to convey to us this hope of a better tomorrow that Jesus declared: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” He said he came to this world to seek and save what was lost. He came to redeem and give his life to save people from their lost condition. He came to give them hope for tomorrow and even beyond.
The famous novella A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens captures the spirit of Christmas in a memorable way. The story presents Christmas in a past-present-future timeline.
At the beginning of the story set in 18th Century London we are told of the certainty of the death of Jacob Marley the business partner of Ebenezer Scrooge. Marley was dead as a door nail. And the story begins exactly 7 years after his death on Christmas Eve.
Charles Dickens takes us to Scrooge’s dark, chilly office on this cold evening. It is getting late. Scrooge, a miser, warns his clerk Bob Cratchit not to put more coal on the fire or keep looking at the clock. At this moment Scrooge’s nephew Fred comes in and greets him saying, A Merry Christmas Uncle. Scrooge in response says Christmas is humbug. Fred replies that that Christmas is the time of the year when people truly open their hearts to each other with kindness and love. Fred leaves after inviting Scrooge to join their family for Dinner on Christmas Day.
Scrooge is then visited by two gentlemen collecting money for the poor. They are sent away without being given anything. He tells them to send the poor to the prisons. Scrooge tells his clerk Bob Cratchit that saying Christmas comes only once in a year to have a day off is “a poor excuse for picking a man’s pocket every twenty-fifth of December.” He is warned to come early the day after Christmas.
Scrooge then leaves for home. From here the real drama starts. Scrooge is first of all visited by Marley’s ghost which came after all the bells in the house rang loudly for a minute or so at night. This ghost had a chain around him which was full of cash boxes, keys, padlocks, ledgers, deeds and heavy purses wrought in steel. The ghost said that this was a chain he made for himself in life because he looked after business well instead of the true of business of looking after people with love and mercy. The ghost warned Scrooge that his chain was much heavier by now. He further told Scrooge that he still had a chance to escape a tragic end and have hope for change. He was told that he will be visited by three more ghosts.
At the disappearance of Marley’s ghost Scrooge falls asleep.
Charles Dickens now paints for us the arrival of three ghosts—the Ghost of Christmas Past, the Ghost of Christmas Present and the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Be. The encounter with these three ghosts gives a chance to Scrooge to travel through memory lane. The scenes of Christmas he is shown shake him up. He is so afraid that he truly desires to change.
In fact, A Christmas Carol focuses on this one thing about Christmas—change. It focuses on repentance and tears that help a man mend his ways. It shows us how change comes to the heart of a miser Ebenezer Scrooge.
As we come back to the story of Scrooge, he is now visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past. The ghost radiates with light and Scrooge begs him to put his cap on which can conceal the light. The ghost is angry at this suggestion. We are reminded of the words of Jesus who said, “Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.” The ghost carries Scrooge to his native place. Scrooge is shown his own childhood when he delighted in stories, was kind and innocent. But most of his childhood was lonely. He is reminded of his tender relationship with his sister who died young leaving behind his nephew Fred. Then there is a lovely scene of Christmas where his first employer Fessiwig hosts a Christmas party which Scrooge and his fellow apprentice enjoyed to the full. The generous attitude of Fessiwig is in marked contrast to the miserly attitude of Scrooge in the present. A final scene is that of the parting between Scrooge and his fiancée. She ends the relationship with him because she understood that Scrooge had fallen in love with a golden idol which is money. She parts by saying she will always remember the kind person that Scrooge once was. We are also shown how this lady is happy with her husband and children on Christmas Eve. Some of these scenes lay the groundwork for the change to happen in Scrooge’s life. He sheds a tear now and then. He remembers how he had rudely reacted to a boy singing carol that evening and also how he did not treat his clerk Bob Cratchit in a fair manner. Tired by the scenes he saw, Scrooge falls asleep again.
Now the second spirit, the Ghost of Christmas Present who holds a glowing torch makes his appearance. He carries Scrooge to different places. The ghost is seen blessing the dinner and the houses of the poor especially and Scrooge wonders why the poor are treated with such special care. One highlight is the visit to Scrooge’s nephew Fred’s home and Christmas party. It is a happy family and Fred speaks of his uncle with pity. Scrooge is then shown Bob Cratchit’s family feast. They are full of joy and the special focus is Tiny Tim, the youngest in the family who is ill and needs crutches to support him. Bob comes home carrying Tiny Tim on his shoulders and tells his wife that Tiny Tim was saying in church that it would be good for people on Christmas Day “to remember the One who made lame beggars walk, and blind men see.” The Ghost informs Scrooge that Tiny Tim will soon die if their circumstances do not change soon. Even though the mention of Scrooge’s name casts a shadow on the party, the scene ends with Tiny Tim saying, “God bless us every one.” Before disappearing the ghost shows two ugly looking children namely Ignorance and Want. When Scrooge expresses concern for them, the ghost quotes Scrooge’s own words: “Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?” On hearing his own words Scrooge hung his head in shame.
Soon the clock struck the hour. And a dark-looking ghost appeared. It wore a black robe which hid its head, face and body; only the hand could be seen. Scrooge trembled with fear. The ghost did not speak but only nodded his head and pointed its finger. The Ghost of Christmas Yet to come showed him scenes of Christmas one year later. Someone had died. He was a wretched man. Scrooge is unable to find himself in the crowd that moves around. The dead man’s charwoman and laundress and the local undertaker steal his bed curtains, his bed sheets and even his shirt and trades it to Old Joe for money. All this time the dead man lay, in the dark empty house, with not a man, a woman, or a child, to say that he was kind to me in this or that! Scrooge did not have the courage to move the sheet that covered the dead man’s face. The Ghost shows Scrooge a man rejoicing because of the dead man as he got a little more time to pay off his debt. The Ghost also showed Bob Cratchit and family mourning the death of Tiny Tim. As the Ghost and Scrooge move past Scrooge’s office, he runs to the window only to see someone else seated on the inside. But the Ghost’s hand was pointing in another direction beyond an iron gate to the graveyard and to a neglected corner in it. There Scrooge sees his own tombstone.
Scrooge realizes that he himself was the dead man. He cried out to the Ghost, “Why show me all these if I am past all hope. Assure me that I yet may change these shadows you have shown me, by an altered life.’
He further prayed saying, “I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.” When he saw his own death; the man who a day ago said Christmas was humbug is now ready to honour it and keep it all the year. Yes, Christmas is not just a season but its reason is the sacrificial generosity of God who so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son Jesus to bleed and die on the cross for the sins of all mankind.
Scrooge awakens on Christmas morning. Realizing that he still had a chance to make amends he laughed. It was the father of a long, long line of brilliant laughs. He shouted, “A merry Christmas to everybody” once he checked with a boy in the street on what day it was. He is wonderstruck that within a night his life was changed.
And the change in him was permanent. He spent the day with Fred’s family and sent the best Turkey in town anonymously to Bob Cratchit. He raised the salary of Bob the very next day, and became a second father to Tiny Tim, who did not die. He went to church on Christmas Day and promised the gentlemen who had earlier called at his office a substantial amount of money to help the poor. The miser Scrooge had now become a generous man in line with the true spirit of Christmas. His life now reflected Apostle Paul’s comment on change that Christmas brings: “If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone, the new has come.” As far as Scrooge was concerned, the old had gone and the new had come indeed!
Cricket World Cup 2011 will showcase some of the great talents of cricket. Not only is it going to be great entertainment it will also witness joy and agony, elation and tears, at the drama of quickly changing fortunes. It is not only about dreams come true but also about rains that steal victory from the deserving. Cricket World Cup, again, is not only about yelling crowds and great expectations; but it also about great wins, closely-fought contests, and unexpected defeats as well. In that sense, the game of cricket is close to life. It is this exciting aspect of how cricket is closely knit to the game of life that I would love to explore in today’s talk, Life Lessons from Cricket.
Cricket is a beautiful game. It not only entertains but educates as well. To a keen observer of the game, cricket teaches motivational secrets that can bring success in life. The basic lesson is that life is a game. It has laws and boundaries. We have to abide by the laws and play according to it. Yet winning remains a great art. Not all players win all the time. But then winning alone is not what matters most; but how one plays the game.
Therefore the question is with what attitude do you approach life? Is it with a negative approach which despairs even before the first ball is bowled? Again, do you approach life with a pessimistic attitude saying that the opposition is strong and their total is big and I will not be able to get there? Or do you believe in your God-given abilities, and try to give it your best shot with a positive never-say-die attitude? Remember, it is the same ball that can take your wicket or that can be hit for a six. Remember that life is short and what is important is to play the game with hope. As King Solomon rightly pointed out; “Anyone who is among the living has hope-even a live dog is better off than a dead lion!”
With that in mind let us look at some life lessons from the game of cricket.
First of all, cricket teaches us that mistakes are common in life. I have often wondered the reason why bowlers are motivated to keep on bowling even when the batsmen are hitting them for boundaries and sixes? The simple reason is that they bowl in the hope that the batsmen will soon commit a mistake. We as viewers of the game are either delighted with the opposition’s mistakes or made sad by our team’s mistakes.
But the game goes on. That is perhaps the highlight. We have seen great batsmen get out for a duck or get run-out. We also have seen great bowlers being hit for many boundaries in an over. All this is part of the game. So let us face the fact that mistakes are common in life. The key to success is not to lose heart when a mistake happens. Instead learn from it; make your skills sharper and try again with renewed spirit the next time. And always be alert to the possibility of mistakes.
Secondly, cricket teaches us that each individual is unique and important even in a team. One big difference between cricket and football and many other team games as well is that in cricket there is greater scope for individual brilliance. In the past there were all-rounders or match-winners who could change the game in their team’s favour very quickly. Kapil Dev, Imran Khan, Richard Hadlee, Ian Botham, were all consistent players who could change a game with bat or ball. And there were players who epitomized the joy of fielding like Jonty Rhodes who could turn the tide by his brilliant fielding alone. In modern cricket, such players are called game-changers.
What makes a player a game-changer? A player who knows his role well; one who knows what is expected of him at any given moment in the game and does exceeding well in bringing his role to perfection is one who is a game-changer. Sachin Tendulkar, who has won the most number of Man of the Match awards in One day Internationals is a classic example. What is the lesson for you? Many young people think that they are not good enough. This is a mistaken thought. You are created unique. Celebrate your uniqueness and find out your role in life and then be the best in that role. Success will then coming knocking at your doorsteps.
Thirdly, cricket teaches us that success comes to those who enjoy the game. If you take a good look at the great names of world cricket, you’ll find that those names that are not forgotten by generations are those of cricketers who played with passion on their sleeves. To them, cricket was not a means of livelihood or brand promotion. Instead they loved the game, dedicated themselves to be masters of it and did hard work to bring their skills to perfection.
They took to the field with sincerity of purpose, were focussed and sweated it out. But above all, they delighted in the opportunity to play for their national team. They took pride in it. Such players have left behind a lasting legacy. The secret is to enjoy playing the game. Likewise in life too we need to learn to enjoy the work we do. Then success will come naturally. To quote the wise King Solomon once again: “Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will serve before kings; he will not serve before obscure men.” Let us also remember the words of Sachin Tendulkar: “Statistics could be a form of reflection of what a player has contributed but for me it is about enjoyment and not statistics”
A few more points related to Life Lessons from Cricket needed to be noted as well. Cricket teaches us that life needs planning. The way a batsman paces an innings well is a sign of his class as well as the fact that he calculates his moment of acceleration with precision. In test cricket a batsman gets ample time to get used to the wicket and the bowling and then start scoring at leisure. But in the limited overs game things are a bit different. Here the batsman’s ability to adapt quickly to the given situation is what makes him a valued player. From the bowler’s point of view, test cricket is a test of one’s endurance while the limited overs game is a question about how quickly he can get wickets or contain the batsman.
All this requires great planning and preparation which includes studying the opposition. Each individual player’s strengths and weakness has to be analysed to have a great game plan. Likewise in life too there should be real planning. Nothing should be left to chance. To quote King Solomon again, “Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest.” So plan well. Have confidence in your gifts and talents. Play each ball with the merit it deserves. Treat your opposition with respect. Play according to your game plan and be sure to have a back-up plan if your original planning fails.
The next thought is that cricket teaches us that success in cricket as well as in life is a matter of perseverance. All great players have had their moments of failure. Usually with bad performances in consecutive matches, the media goes to attack the player even if his past records speak for itself. This is especially true with the Indian Media and the pressure of critics is very difficult to handle. Sometimes former players pitch in with harsh and unjust criticism. But great batsmen let their bats do the talking taking failures in their stride. Likewise, great bowlers come back with crucial wicket-taking performances.
Note that all such great players have something in common. They’re winners and they have the passion to win. They never quit. Criticism only fuels their resolve to do their best. We need to remember this quote now long associated with cricket: “Form is temporary; class is permanent.” The life lesson is that you need to weather stormy seasons and endure lean patches in life. You need to always hold on and never quit.
Remember the words of Sir Winston Churchill who said, “Never! Never! Never! Never! give up.” Do not consider a game over till the last ball is bowled for as Napolean Bonaparte said, “Victory belongs to the most persevering.” Do not blame circumstances; one has to learn be a good player in fast wickets and slow-turning pitches at home as well as abroad. Learn to play the game of life with great sportsmanship.
Above all else, cricket teaches us that life is about entertainment. The goal of each player is to do well so as to entertain the audience. How is this done? Through a variety of ways. There is nothing more fascinating to watch than a pace bowler bowling great line and length and have the batsman in a mesmerized hold. There is a kind of rhyme and rhythm to the long run up to the crease and completed by a graceful follow through.
A spinner on the other hand often tricks a batsman by his flight and varied pace and turn. Or is there anything more lovely than an exciting cover drive, or a straight drive which gives no chance to any fielder, or a lofted six over long off or long on?
What about a batsman dancing down the wicket to do so. What about the poetry of a hook shot to a bouncer or the brute force of a pull shot that races to the ropes like lightning. Words fail me to say about the drama of run-outs, stumpings, quick-reflex catches in the slips and forward short-leg, dramatic stops at the boundary line; so on and so forth.
The quick running between wickets, the raised bat as a batsman reaches a milestone, a bowler’s elation at the sound of the cricket ball hitting the stumps; the running in of players to the centre to crowd around and celebrate; what fantastic entertainment is this!
Young friends, life is not just about existence. Instead it is about living life to the fullest. It is about utilizing your fullest potential not just to achieve fame or fortune but more to inspire others to do well. This is a great privilege and responsibility. You can inspire others by your great performances. As Helen Keller, who inspired many by her triumph over great odds in life, once wrote , “When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life of another.”
That is what exactly happened in the 1983 World Cup with Kapil Dev’s unbeaten 175 against Zimbabwe. It was nothing short of a miracle as when he came in to bat India were 17 for the loss of 5 wickets. Kapil recently said this about that great knock: “I was too young at that time to understand the emotions. Now after so many years, the achievement has finally sunk in and I realize it was a truly great one. God creates a day for sportspeople and that day was mine.”
Finally, cricket teaches us the art of finishing well. Often in the game we find teams starting off well while batting. When everything seems to be going great and commentators start projecting big final scores there is a sudden middle-order collapse which is soon followed by some bowler finishing off the tail.
Though not every match goes according to this script, it is vitally important to note that many teams fail to follow through the good work they do at the beginning of an innings. This can be due to overconfidence, concentration loss, allowing pressure of the situation to get the better of one’s nerves, carelessness or sometimes poor decision-making. Whatever it be, the team that wins is one that has one or two players who are great finishers.
Finishing well is definitely a great art. For example, during the golden days of West Indian Cricket, there was a kind of habit with the West Indian batsmen to finish off every game with a six. Likewise each one of us should determine early in life to finish well. Otherwise you’ll be rattled at the crossroads of life when life takes unexpected twists and turns. Sadly very few cricket players have ended the long innings of their career on a high note. Others waited to be dropped from the team before announcing retirement. But a few like Steve Waugh and Muttiah Muralitharan finished their test careers in blazing glory as if it were a fairy tale ending.
Let me sum up the main highlights once again:
Cricket is a beautiful game. It not only entertains but educates as well. Cricket teaches us that mistakes are common in life. It teaches us that each individual is unique and important even in a team and that success belongs to those who enjoy the game best. Further, cricket teaches us that life needs planning and preparation and shows us that perseverance is the key to leave a lasting legacy behind. Above all, cricket teaches us that life is about entertainment meaning that life is to be lived out to its fullest God-given potential so that you’ll inspire others with your performances. Beyond all this cricket teaches us the art of finishing well in life. To conclude, great cricket legends never die; they just fade away!
Talk for Yuvavani, A.I.R., Thiruvanathapuram.
First Broadcast 22nd December 2007.
Once upon a time, when Augustus Caesar ruled Rome, a star rose over a little town called Bethlehem. It shone in the darkness. And its light was seen far away in the East. It ignited hope in the hearts of those who were waiting for it. Immediately, these Wise Men began to journey to meet someone for whom they had waited so long. The light was now shining. And it meant the birth of a child who was born a king!
At the same time an angel announced his birth to shepherds watching over their flocks at night. A light shone around them too. It terrified them. But then the angel said: “Fear not. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Saviour has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.” As soon as they heard the news they too rushed to meet this child.
Now there is nothing uncommon about expecting the news of the birth of a child. And journeying to meet him when the news of his birth arrives. But there is something uncommon when heaven’s messengers participate in spreading the news. A child born of a virgin and lying in a manger in which cattle were fed thus compels our attention. And we start to wonder, “Who is this child?”
He was God himself who came down to earth as a human being. He came to be with us. He came as one who could be seen and touched. This nearness of God to us was made possible that first Christmas night through the birth of Jesus. And through this one act, God gave hope to men and women by saying that he wanted to be friends with them. It ignited hope in human hearts because a holy God had now become the friend of sinners. This welcome of God to all thus became the keynote of hope to all mankind.
This truth is often told in these simple words: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” In these words are painted the hope of Christmas. It tells us that not one of those who journey to meet the Christ-child will ever be disappointed. Instead they will be gifted with God himself.
This gifting of God to us reminds us of the story of an ancient king who loved to mingle with his people in disguise. One day, dressed as an old man he visited a poor woodcutter who lived in a small hut down the valley. After spending some time and sharing a simple meal of bread and water which the woodcutter offered him, the king rose to leave. Then he revealed himself to the woodcutter as the king of the land and asked him to ask for any gift he wished to have. But he did not do so. In surprise, the king asked him, “Don’t you understand. I am the king of this land? I can give you anything you wish—a home, a city or even bags of gold.”
But the poor woodcutter replied: “Your majesty, I do not ask for any of those. For you’ve already given me the greatest gift you could possibly give. You came down from your palace and ate and drank with me. You gifted me with yourself and that’s the greatest gift of all.”
Like the king in this story, the child in the manger gave up all his glory in heaven to become a servant of men. He humbled himself even to the point of shedding his blood on a cross even though he had done no wrong. He did this to take away the sin of the world. But ultimately he conquered death and came back to life. And opened the doors of heaven for us to walk in. Therefore Christmas is the story of God stooping down to lift man up to heaven. This is the good news of Christmas to all the people and its undying hope.
Therefore once again Christmas happens in all its beauty, in all its loveliness, in each heart that welcomes the Christ-child. It makes us belong to the family of God. It also gives us the joy of being valued in the eyes of God who makes his home in our hearts. And as the angels sang that first Christmas, it brings peace to our hearts along with it.
This then is the simple message of Christmas. That man as an individual is not lost to the eyes of God. That is why it is often pointed out that even if this world had only one person living in it, and that one person were you, he would have sent his Son Jesus to meet you. Thus the great hope of Christmas is that you as an individual has great worth in God’s eyes.
In connection with this truth I remember hearing a simple story in my childhood. There was a little boy who carved a small wooden boat and painted it red. And one day after the rains he went out to play with the boat he had made. He floated the boat in the running water in the stream nearby. And he kept walking by its side watching the boat sail on. But the water was moving faster than he thought. And it quickly carried away the boat from his sight. And it was lost.
The boy was sad that the boat he made was lost. Many months passed by. One day he was walking along the street when he saw his own little red boat displayed in a shop. He was overjoyed at that sight. Immediately he went in and claimed it as his boat. But the shopkeeper said, “Someone else brought it here. If you need it, you have to buy it.” The boy asked for its price. He ran home to fetch the coins needed, added it up together, ran back to the shop and gave it to the owner. And then with a heart full of joy he carried the boat home. While he walked home he lovingly told the boat, “”Now you’re twice mine: first, I made you, and now I bought you.”
Likewise, Christmas is God’s search for those who are lost. It tells man that he now belongs to God for more than one reason. In one sense God is his creator. In a greater sense God becomes his rescuer. He came down from heaven to reclaim you from the gutters of evil. And lift you up from there with a new identity stamped on you saying, “You are mine!”
Christmas thus becomes a sharp cut and the dividing line between a man’s history and his destiny. For the birth of Christ in one’s heart means that the old has gone and the new has come. This brings hope to every human heart burdened with the past. To such people the star that rose over Bethlehem shines with love and compassion. It points them to a brand new beginning in life and to a purposeful future. Thus Christmas becomes a time to leave the past behind with its hurtful memories, shameful secrets, bundle of mistakes, and the burden of guilt. This is true because Christmas is the story of light shining in darkness.
As was predicted by Prophet Isaiah: “The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned.” Therefore, no longer will the fear of death hold us in slavery. For the true light that came to this world that first Christmas night has conquered darkness for ever. And in the process gifted man with unending life of far superior quality than man has ever dreamed of. For Jesus himself assured: “I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me shall never die.”
This truth is beautifully illustrated in the movie The Chronicles of Narnia 1 based on the work by C. S. Lewis. In the land of Narnia, it was always winter and never Christmas because of the powerful influence of an evil witch. It was rumoured that this situation would change only when Aslan the lion-king would come. But when he came, the witch demanded the blood of a young boy whom she called “a traitor.” To save him from death penalty Aslan offers himself as a sacrifice at the Stone Table in place of the boy.
But later Aslan comes back to life and proclaims the secret the witch did not know: “When a willing victim who had committed no treachery was killed in a traitor’s stead, the Table would crack and Death itself would start working backwards!” I repeat that once again. “When a willing victim who had committed no treachery was killed in a traitor’s stead, the Table would crack and Death itself would start working backwards!” Thus the spell was broken and Christmas came to Narnia once again.
Therefore, Death working backwards is indeed the hope of Christmas: This hope declares that man need not die. Instead he can live forever in the presence of God. For the doors of heaven have now been opened through the blood of the Lamb of God shed on the cross. And the welcome of God is written across the gates of heaven to all with room in their hearts for Jesus. There, one day, God would wipe away every tear from their eyes.
“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favour rests.”
Talk for Yuvavani,
All India Radio, Thiruvananthapuram.
First Broadcast on 29 July 2006.
There are constants and variables in leadership communication. Variables are much sought after while the value of constants are not fully recognized. Variables constitute style in communication while constants are the life-blood and substance of communication. Wherever constants are recognized and valued there is a sure chance of leadership communication to succeed.
The best kind of success in leadership communication occurs when there is a joining together of constants and variables. The synergy of such an alliance hits you like a tidal wave. Such communication has got depth and mobility. Constants give it depth while variables give it mobile power. The presence of the components of depth and mobility in leadership communication throws upon the leader a mantle of responsibility. A leader therefore has to communicate responsibly for his communication can easily shape or mar the destinies of many others.
It follows that a good leader makes constants his priority. But then the question is, “What are these constants?” In one word, all constants can be summed up as “trustworthiness.” It is a sum of constants and is not achieved in a day’s time. For a leader to be perceived as trustworthy; he has to be approachable, has to have integrity, should be a man with vision and purpose, and should be one with an ability to motivate others to get things done. When these constants are in place the variables would follow. The variables can include, among other things, the men, the method and the medium a leader uses to communicate.
For example, a message in the hand of a worthy messenger carries double the impact. World over, when men and women of reputation speaks for a cause, people listen! This is because the world recognizes the value of a worthy messenger.
Again, the method of communication is of utmost importance. Some leaders prefer to use gentle persuasion while others try dominant aggression. It is to be remembered that gentle persuasion is like water seeping into the pores of a sponge while dominant aggression is like the aftermath of an earthquake. Gentle persuasion creates an ambience for further positive communication. It encourages feedback too.
On the other hand dominant aggression leaves scars and eats into the deposit of trust built over the years. One thoughtless moment of dominant aggression can drive a wedge between relationships which may take a Herculean effort to bridge. It can cut off possibilities of dialogue too.
Finally, the medium the leader chooses also determines the outcome of the communication. This is because the medium used can change perceptions. For example, having a motto displayed prominently at the entrance of an institution is vastly different from having it printed on a coffee mug and placed on every single table.
The first one can send the message of what the leader chose to believe in; while the second one is an invitation to the followers to share in the leader’s vision or mission. Thus it is clearly seen that the medium used can change perceptions. McLuhan’s statement “ The medium is the message” provokes thought in the study of such contexts.
As you further think about leadership communication, the important thing to note is that variables like men, method, and medium cannot compensate for lack of constants. Constants are like strong pillars supporting a bridge. They give them strength. When the presence of these pillars are perceived by the target group they are willing to accept the communication that comes across the bridge as reliable.
These pillars are built of solid trust. It rests on integrity and relationships built over the years. A leader who keeps his word and delivers what he promises at the appointed times and seasons goes a long way in developing trust. His integrity fosters an intimate but elevated kind of lasting associations. This web is spun with so strong strands that adverse times do not break them; instead they only reveal its strength. Therefore seek to strengthen the constants in leadership communication.
Leadership communication succeeds when values are enshrined in a man or woman. When he or she leads with a spirit of serving; then the world stops to listen. A leader of this class is one who is other-minded always. The fellow man’s good becomes his topmost priority and concern. Then he becomes the salt of the earth. And the taste of its influence causes others to listen to him. In other words, the constants in him make people listen. They become willing to obey.
But then what is the secret of such charismatic leadership? Definitely excellent communication skills rank among the best of possible options. When leaders talk well, with clarity and power, with commitment and conviction; their success story is written indelibly in the hearts of men. Examples of such leadership are easily visible in the political arena of the world.
But then they distill down to leadership roles in other levels of society too . The father in a family, a teacher in a school, a team leader of a project or the captain of a cricket team are all leaders from whom others expect quality communication. If those in such leadership roles communicate well; then there is great scope for influence of charismatic leadership.
The impact of such leadership is that unswerving loyalty becomes the only response possible in followers. It is said that when a surgeon was trying to pull out a bullet that had lodged near the heart of one of Napolean’s soldiers; he said: “Go a little deeper, you’ll find my Emperor there!” Such examples prove that leadership communication is not just about talk alone. It is more. It is a communication with one’s entire being. It is constants in action yet again.
But then something more should be said about leadership communication in a global context. World history is the story of a string of individuals who controlled the world with their mind or muscle or money or a combination of these. Plus it was their ability to talk that adhered people to them. But then some of them used this ability for unethical persuasion. This is a great danger still.
Though the world has never lacked leaders; what it now needs are leaders who can use their communication skills for the good of humanity. Leaders should also give ear to what Ralph Waldo Emerson said: “What you are shouts so loudly in my ears that I cannot hear what you say.” In other words, the constants should be in place if communication has to succeed.
That means that communication should rise above noise level in the communication jungle of the world, if it has to succeed. The sheer amount of mediocre communication that is happening around you and me is stunning. Amidst the playful noises of the day and the screaming terrors of the night, in between the pouring down of verbal marathons from the visual media and the silent defilement of the scoops of the print media; successful leadership communication finds itself a dying art. Such is the amount of noise in communication today.
Solomon, the wise king asked, “The more the words, the less the meaning, and how does that profit anyone?” And in today’s context, the question points to the need of purposefulness in leadership communication. It calls for a style of restraint and economy of words. Otherwise the world would die because of another flood; this time not of water but of words. Who knows, someday soon, silence will become a paid commodity!
But for the moment let us focus on purposefulness in leadership communication. It is a direct result of the leader’s vision. This is inseparably intertwined with his constants. And purposefulness is reflected in clarity of thought. The leader has to be clear about his desired outcomes. He, then, should be able to communicate this vision in clear, precise, concrete, and specific terms to those whom he leads.
If there is uncertainty here, the communication that proceeds from the leader will be like a muddied spring from which even cattle refuse to drink. The clarity of the message is therefore of supreme importance in leadership communication. St. Paul, himself a great leader of men, asked: “If the trumpet does not sound a clear call, who will get ready for battle?” The results of leadership communication depends largely on the answer to this question.
Finally, it is to be noted that great leadership communication always motivates and inspires. For this to happen a leader is to be inspired himself. As Tagore rightly pointed out: “A lamp can never light another lamp unless it continues to burn its own flame.” But it also needs to be understood that motivation cannot happen in vacuum. Instead motivation can only take place in a meaningful communication context.
For example, the world would never have respected Sir. Winston Churchill to such an extent if his speeches came in another context other than the second world war. The common man hiding in bomb shelters tuned the radio to listen to this man’s voice of courage and hope even as Nazi bombers; flying low and speeding past, were raiding the cities and towns. That context brought out the best in Churchill and allowed him to showcase the trophies of his art.
But again, he had character. So when constants combine with context; it leads to meaningful communication. Again, he was able to sustain his conviction throughout the days of the war. It motivated. It inspired. And won for the world a noted victory for democracy and peace.
Therefore motivation is always a key aspect of leadership communication. As Peter Drucker noted: “Communication … always makes demands. It always demands that the recipient become somebody, do something, believe something. It always appeals to motivation.” A great leadership communicator therefore inspires and leads by example as he lives out his values in the market place and dares to step down from high pedestals to walk the dusty roads where the masses move and have their being. There, his lamp will light other lamps even as it continues to burn its own flame!
Talk for Yuvavani,
All India Radio, Thiruvananthapuram.
First Broadcast on 20 August 2005.
A wise speaker once remarked: “The human brain is a wonderful organ. It starts to function as soon as you are born and never stops until you get up to deliver a public speech.” There is great wisdom in that observation.
Indeed speaking in public is a terrifying prospect for many. It is terrifying primarily because it involves thinking on one’s feet. With a little bit of training and practice it can be done. But the very thought of doing so can strike terror into many hearts. These seeds of negative thoughts soon sprout and take firm root in the mind. This is popularly referred to as stage fright.
The word stage reminds us of the presence of an audience. It is the audience factor that determines the intensity of fear one experiences. As one goes on the stage, he knows that the spotlight is focused on him. He knows that all are watching him eagerly awaiting a great performance. The same anxiety an athlete experiences while on the track in a large Olympic stadium with ten thousands in attendance is also experienced by the speaker.
Wobbly knees, a giddy head, a racing heart, sweating palms, and butterflies in random flight in the stomach are all part of this experience. These are not symptoms of some fatal disease but the beginning of birth pains for a speaker. He is about to deliver a baby. And labor pains hit him. Some succumb to it and deliver premature or stillborn speeches. They fail to inspire audiences.
But some speakers have the ability to make the butterflies in their stomach fly in formation. They harness this vital energy and make the turbines of their mind rotate to deliver speeches with punch and gusto. They carry audiences on the wings of their imagination to flights of fancy; sometimes informing them; at other times reasoning with them in order to persuade and move their minds. At other times they entertain with lively jokes and stories.
But it is only when the speaker has connected with the audience that the speech becomes complete.
Originally the speech gets birthed as a few unrelated ideas in the mind of the speaker. Slowly they begin to take shape into some kind of order. But presenting those ideas in that raw state would only amount to having a table full of different vegetables. The dish is not yet ready.
For that to happen a real mixing of right ingredients and spices are required. Some kind of cooking has to happen in the mind. And this process takes time to work out properly. And when the aroma hits, you can know that it is almost ready. It is then that the speaker first gets the feel that the speech is going to work out all right. He feels confident that the speech is taking form and beauty and taste.
Talking about taste, these days, dishes are not served as it is. Instead chefs make an art out of it. And art makes the ordinary, look and feel exotic.
In the same fashion, this is where style or the choice of words that a speaker uses become crucial. It is the dress of his thoughts. Different fashions are there to chose from. He can opt for a traditional attire which appears very formal. These kind of speeches are suited for ceremonies that require dignity and decorum. At other times the speaker can go for very colorful and trendy dresses for his thoughts. These kind of speeches are for less formal occasions.
The speaker can tell stories and anecdotes, spice his speech with quotes and illustrations and even use visual aids to communicate. At other times the dress of a joker with a long cap, a red ball nose, a painted face and loose-fitting pyjamas can suit the dress for his thoughts. These kind of speeches are meant to entertain audiences. And they are best suited for after-dinner occasions, when the stomach is full and eyelids close and open in rapid succession. Such are the varieties of speeches and their fashions.
But as mentioned earlier, it is only when the speaker has connected with the audience that the speech becomes complete.
This can happen when the speaker exhibits charisma. Charisma does not mean good looks; though good looks can help to some extent. Charisma is all about having a pleasant look; a genuine and gentle smile, and an exhibition of great posture and poise in front of audiences. The speaker has to communicate an air of confidence and enthusiasm to create charisma. Only then will he be able to connect with audiences.
The audience on the other hand has to feel confidence about the speaker. They have to warm up to him. Otherwise the speaker’s job becomes doubly difficult. In other words the audience can inspire or depress a speaker. That is why Mark Twain said: “Blessed is the man who has an expecting audience.” That is why the audience factor has contributed positively to the making of some great speeches which have been embalmed and treasured in the hearts and minds of men ever since.
In fact, a good speaker understands his audience perfectly. He watches them closely and times his best speaking moments to suit their changing attitudes. At such times he is like an eagle who was hovering above, now descending for the kill in one swift dive. He plays on their emotions, their longings, their needs, their aspirations, their fears and their sense of self-esteem. His speech thus becomes a grand mosaic of designs and patterns, interlacing and interweaving in and out through the inner urges and driving forces of the human psyche and behavior.
The best example of this comes from that immortal address penned by Shakespeare which begins: “Friends, Romans, countrymen; lend me your ears; I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him.” Each time Mark Antony repeated the phrase, “And Brutus is an honorable man,” it was like a huge hammer pounding the nails onto Brutus’ coffin. Thus Mark Antony showed to the world his great understanding of audience psychology. Great speakers are armed with such knowledge and they connect with audiences instantaneously.
Even though it is true that many speakers connect with audiences; an uninterrupted power supply throughout the speech is maintained only by a few. In other words, a speaker is continuously confronted with the challenge of keeping the attention of the audience riveted on his speech. This is because modern man is impatient. He flies like a busy-bee all the while. He is caught by the moment’s fancy like a child attracted by new toys. Any slight disturbance in the hall or outside can woo the audience away from the speech. We have to think of the speaker’s challenge in this broader context.
Therefore the best ways to keep audiences glued to your speech are by keeping speeches short and simple. A speaker has to respect the time of his audience. About time sense, Jenkin Lloyd Jones said: “A man who gives a bad thirty minute speech to two hundred people wastes only half-hour of his time. But he wastes one hundred hours of his audience’s time. That surely is a hanging offence.” So, by simply valuing the time of the audience a speaker can transform the kiss of death into a new lease of life.
And about simplicity, Emerson said: “Nothing is more simple than greatness indeed, to be simple is to be great.” In that sense, a great speaker makes it look all so easy like a batsman dancing down the cricket pitch and lofting the ball of a spinner over the long off boundary for a six.
And when the audience feels this sense of ease with which the task is done, the speaker has really connected with the audience. Such a performance shows his mastery of the art in which the audience shares the very heartbeat and rhythm of the speaker and his speech.
In public speaking, connections are made on another level too. This level goes far beyond flesh and blood. It probes the very depths of the spirit of man. The spoken word is like an arrow that cleaves the air and finds a firm lodging in the human heart. The skill of the best cardiac surgeon may dislodge it from there but the wound and the scar shall remain.
The spoken word is also like a song that finds a corresponding melody in another heart. It soothes and heals. The memory of that spoken word shall glow like an ember even when all the other fires in the world would die in ashes. Such is the power of the spoken word.
Of such connections, the Book of Proverbs has something significant to say: “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” It may seem amazing that such a small organ of the human body is invested with the power of life and death. Yet the more one thinks of it, the more fascinating the study of it becomes.
While the words of a powerful dictator like Hitler had the sting of death in it, the words of Winston Churchill and Rev. Martin Luther King had the gift of life in them. One of them had nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat. The other man said: I have a dream today. Both Churchill and King represent that host of speakers who pour life and courage, strength and inspiration, honor and dignity to the human cause of justice and freedom, righteousness and lasting peace in a war-torn world.
A speaker who falls into this category leaves footprints on the sands of time. He can be sure that others would follow in his steps. His words would connect to unborn tomorrows and thus ensure that a blazing torch of hope is passed on to multitudes of children and youth of the next generations. His words would echo from every mountain and valley that character and worthy conduct would give life to voices that would shake the foundations of evil empires; thus creating a new and better world.
It is quite natural to be anxious about your children. Your children are God’s gift to you. So they are precious. And they are the future.
At their young age, it is as if God has entrusted you with the awesome responsibility to raise them up as God-fearing citizens. It is up to you that they look not for words of advice but for a model and an example which they can emulate and put to practice as well.
Here are a few tips that might prove useful.
#1. Celebrate the uniqueness of your child.
It is quite understandable that you want your child to excel and win the first rank if possible every time. At the same time, it is more important to realize that your child is very unique and different in his talent, temperament, attitudes and passion from even his or her brother or sister.
Therefore do not fall into the trap of comparing your child with anyone else. That is playing with fire. Remember, a dog is not a lion and a lion is not an eagle nor is an eagle a dolphin. Each has its own unique role to play.
So the first responsibility you have is to simply cherish your child as a unique person.
#2. Appreciate your child even for small things he or she does well.
Often we shout at our children; don’t we? Even though we know we should not vent our frustration or anger resulting from a bad day at our work on our children, we do that. And often we feel sorry later.
But the best thing you can do for your child is to praise him and appreciate him for any small thing he does well. The more you do it, genuinely, the more confident your child will become. He will have a greater sense of worth and dignity.
Children who lack appreciation at home and feel rejected seek acceptance somewhere else and in teenage years can land up in bad company quickly. Why? Simply because there he or she is accepted.
So shower you children with praise and appreciation at every opportunity you get.
#3. Spend time with your children.
It is a wrong thinking that your child is satisfied with the best electronic gadgets that you buy for him. Honestly, this is absolutely wrong. Buying the most expensive and trendy things for your child might advertise your money power; but it does not satisfy your child’s basic and most important need. That is quality time you spend with them.
Remember time flies. And before you know it, and because you were busy building your status in society and empires of your own, your child would have grown up into adulthood. And then it is useless to cry that you could spend much time with them in their young age.
Remember the greatest gift you can give your child is the quality time you spend with him or her.
#4. Listen to your children.
If you don’t listen to your children, even if what they talk is silly and even plain nonsense, the day will come when they will totally shut up. And then you will never know what they think, who their friends are, what are their difficulties at school or college or the mental pressures they undergo because of their studies or a wrong relationship.
God has given you two ears so that you will listen more than you talk. It is not bravado to tell your children that you are busy and yell at them to stop talking. Encourage them to speak. Let them open up. Give them the freedom to talk to you about matters that trouble their heart. In this way you show respect to them as well.
If you listen to your children today, tomorrow you will not to have to regret that they are not listening to you.
#5. Take time to understand your child’s passion, talent and ambition.
As parents, we like our children to fit into the society’s mould. So we pressurize them to become doctors when they want to be engineers, we compel them to do civil services when they want to be journalists and so on. Of course, there are times when the wisdom of parents should overrule the wrong choices children make.
But know that children excel in what they are passionate about. So as parents try to understand what their skill sets are. Help them to have good hobbies which are creative, involves physical activity and involves teaming up with others if possible.
This is far better than giving them a tablet or laptop or expensive mobile and allowing them to chat or play video games on it for hours. And it is often equally dangerous to try to make children do what we were good at or try to realize our unfulfilled dreams through them (there are occasions when it works but mostly it is not worth the try).
I have often quarreled with parents because they often label their children negatively in front of others. One of their favourite labels is this: “Oh, my child is an introvert.” This is shocking because most of the time this has nothing to do with reality.
Maybe the child is a bit shy. So what? Given the right environment like a change of school or given more time to play team games with friends, he or she will come up fantastically well. The more parents repeat this kind of negative labelling in front of others the child starts believing a lie about himself. The child goes on to become an introvert.
Never label your children. Put a guard over your mouth so that you resist the temptation to label your child negatively especially in front of others.
#7. Never forget to pray for your children daily.
So many children who went to wayward living during their teenage years have come back to their parents and to the forgiving love of God because of the prayers of their parents–especially the heartfelt, tearful, prayers of their mothers!
When your children go to school or college commit them and especially that day into God’s care. Pray that they will be given wisdom and discernment to face life’s challenges and also study well. Pray that they will not be drawn to evil things, and bad company; for the Bible warns, “”Bad company corrupts good character.”1
Knowing that parents are praying for them is a great encouragement for children and a surety of your love and care for them.
“See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven” – Jesus Christ.
#1. You Stand Alone
That is frightening. Many people like to be in the comfort of a group; allow others to talk and feel happy being led. The sudden change from being a passive listener to a visible speaker is difficult for many to accept.
#2. The Fear of Making a Fool of Oneself
It can happen if the mind goes blank, if words go wrong, or if fear shows through. The worry of making mistakes ensures that mistakes do come.
#3. My Ideas Are Not Good Enough
It is not ideas that are bad. It is often the packaging of ideas that needs to be done well. A chocolate wrapped in a newspaper will not be well received even if you tell the world that it is a delicious chocolate that is inside it.
#4. What Will People Think About Me As long as we are focused on what people are thinking about us; stage fright will rule. So many people become self conscious on stage and then a battle of nerves begin.
#5. Lack of Knowledge of Crafting a Speech
Lack of knowledge of one’s subject is a concern. But more than that many people do not know how to grab attention at the beginning; organize content well; use transitions effectively, support with evidence, illustrations, examples; and end on a positive, high note.
#6. Bad Memories of Past Mistakes and Failures
Most people have had bad experiences in their first attempts on stage. Sometimes these mistakes and failures like forgetting memorized lines or shivering were made fun of by friends, teachers, or strangers even. Such bad memories paralyze people from speaking with courage.
#7. Fear of Rejection
Everyone loves to be appreciated and accepted. But every time one goes on to stage to speak (however experienced he or she may be),there is the possibility of facing rejection from the audience. It is a fear that can trouble even the really confident speaker.
The good news however is that none of these fears need prevent you from becoming a good speaker. With a burning desire from your part, perseverance and help from someone who can inspire you with confidence; you can speak without fear. Yes, you can!
What about bettering ourselves and scoring a perfect ten! What about having a winsome personality that attracts others with its magnetism, charm and grace! It takes a lot of persistent effort to do so; yet the message is you can!
#1. Smile
Smile is so universal; yet so many smiles are efforts to sell, deceive or manipulate. But if you can smile from your heart; and let joy radiate all over you lighting up the eyes with a twinkle and spreading cheer; then that smile reaches across boundaries. Isn’t a lovely smile on your face the key not only to personal attractiveness (more than all the cosmetics of this world); but also the key to build instant rapport with your audiences and win a place in the heart of all? Yes; a radiant smile is the key to lasting relationships.
#2. Courtesy
We live in an aggressive world where might is often confused with right. In the mad rush to be first we tend to bulldoze people into submission. But if we can practice little courtesies of life-those small acts of kindness and thoughtfulness-then we would make this earth a better place to live in. Life would be much more of glide than a bumpy ride then; for courteous behaviour (like helping an elder person do a simple task which he finds difficult to do) is like oil that lubricates the hinges of a door. Can you not with a little thoughtfulness practice showing respect and care to all who cross your way? I think you can!
#3. Kind Words Words are like a knife’s edge when used with malice. It makes others bleed. Words that are potentially loaded with harm are like vicious dogs waiting to be let loose to tear their innocent victims apart. Isn’t it better to post a doorkeeper at the gate of your mouth rather than spit venom like cobras? This was King David’s prayer to God, “Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips” (Psalm 141:3). No doubt, we need God’s grace to keep our mouths shut! At the same time we need to practice the art of speaking kind words that will win friends and influence people.
#4. Don’t Pry into Other People’s Private Lives
There is a private space for everyone which no one wants to have violated. Even the hot selling point of more leg space available with cars and airliners is an indication of its emotional counterpart. While this need of being alone with one’s thoughts and emotions is there; I’ve met many people whose sole objective in life is to ask nasty or cleverly masked questions with the intent to pry open very personal and private information. (What is surprising is that these questioners are very secretive themselves who resist being asked questions!) Isn’t it much better to allow people their private space and maintain their respect towards you than be marked out as a sour person because of your prying nature?
#5. Keep Commitments
Have you ever tried to say this over phone: “I’m in a meeting now. Will call you later”? Later, did you forget all about your promise? When such forgetfulness happens many times, people will not consider you reliable. You will lose their trust and your credibility. Therefore make sure that you follow through with your promises and deliver. One real cause of friction in relationships occurs when people do not stick to time of meeting agreed upon. Why not be a winning personality by being on time every time?
#6. Be Skilled in Something Other Than Your Work
Came across an interesting proverb recently which says, “God does not subtract from men’s lives the time spent for fishing.” Are you hooked to some constructive hobby or leisure time activity? Are you extremely good at it? Not only does it help you to enjoy life to the fullest but it also gives you something attractive to talk about when you meet with people. Help people remember you by your passion and your excellence in that pursuit.
#7. Do Not Sound Your Own Trumpet
It is sad when there is no one to say words of praise for you. But it is pitiable when you try to praise your own achievements yourself. It is comical to see people who blare their own horns at the first chance they get to speak. So avoid this habit yourself. On the other hand, one good thing you can do is to show interest in what others consider important for themselves. For some it might be their children, for others their work or even their love of some sport. When you show interest and are willing to listen; not only will they feel honoured but you will also gain valuable insights on what is close to people’s hearts.
#8. Allow People to Save Face
How often we jump in to condemn a person who made a mistake? How sad to see people pounce on one who has offered a sincere apology already for the wrong committed? More insulting are generalized and caustic statements like, “He is always like this doing stupid things.” Allow people to save face. When you act graciously with people who make mistakes they will be motivated to reward your kindness with better and responsible behaviour from their part.
#9. Do Not Be a Quitter
Life and success is all about perseverance. But losing is a habit with many not because they can’t win; but because they have struck a romance with giving up. It all starts in small matters like not completing a speech or leaving one corner of the room uncleaned. Such small things snowball into a mountain which stands as a real barrier to your life’s progress. So make it a habit of completing the small tasks of life and big things will take care of themselves. After all, the great lesson of life is that you have to determine to finish strong!
#10. Show Confidence and Initiative
People love to be led. You might also be someone who loves to follow. But strangely there are always people who look up to you. The question is whether you are someone who can take the lead with confidence in getting something done. Though we all face loss of confidence from time to time in life that prevents us from taking initiative, there are ways to get out loss of confidence. Never forget that one good initiative you take can catch up with others like how Benjamin Franklin lighted up the entire city of Philadelphia by taking the initiative to hang a lighted lamp in front of his home at night.
Like pebbles from rough stones come after many a tumble in the stream beds; so also a lovely personality is shaped after much chiselling in the grind of life. Are you game for it?
#1. Know Your Customer’s Needs Identify the market.
Know what will sell? Opening a fish shop near a school might not be a great idea; rather it might be great to go for a book shop which also sells stationery items. In the online world these don’t matter.
#2. Know Your Product There is no compromise here.
Be ready to answer questions, doubts, clarifications and objections that your customer might raise. Tell them about the product in a simple language even a child can understand (Avoid jargon.).
#3. Translate Features into Benefits
As a great salesperson, your work is to show your customer how a feature of your product is going to satisfy his need-basically how it is going to make him or her feel good, how it is going to make life or work easier for him or her.
#4. Know What Is Different and Unique About Your Product
It is quite natural for a customer to think why he or she should opt for your product from among the competition. If you as a great salesperson can show your customer what is that one thing (if not more) that makes your product worth the buy and better than your competition (In convincing your customer thus, do not bad mouth your competition; that is unfair.), you can sell!
#5. Find a Point of Agreement
There will be differences of opinion and disagreements to what you tell your customer. But your primary role as a great salesperson is to help your customer see that there is something important in what you said that he or she also fully agrees to. Then build on that point of agreement.
#6. Keep Options Open
Selling even when understood as a scientific step by step process is more of an art. A sense of timing plus being flexible to certain suggestions made by your customer can certainly win you a sale. Always offer choices; be creative in offering something free, surplus, bonus points, coupons etc. Bring in value addition to the customer.
#7. Never Get Bored of Telling About Your Product
Always keep in mind that your customer is always a new person listening to your sales talk. You should show freshness, creativity, enthusiasm, and confidence while you give a sales presentation. Never lose your excitement about your product simply because you are presenting the same stuff time and again.
In conclusion, remember to be sincere. Do not forget to ask the customer if something is needed for someone else–a child or an elder–in the family. There is no need to manipulate, trick or deceive.
Be open, honest and having the best intention regarding customer’s interest in mind even when you negotiate. It is your sincerity that will connect with your prospective buyer more than anything else.
Go sell! And remember to close the sale with a customary thank you, have a nice day, and a smile.
Perhaps you might not succeed in delivering a great speech this time also! So what? Understand that a speaker is not a once-for-all finished product. Instead the beauty of a speaker is that he or she is being moulded every day. Instead of trying to destroy the flaws; try to blend them into the design.
That means work on your strength as a speaker and being very good at it. Then slowly you’ll find that the shortcomings do not trouble the outcome of the speech. After all, all good speeches are based on lessons learned from plenty of bad speeches. When these lessons are stringed together; it shapes a speech that touches the heart, rouses the intellect, and inspires people.
Nothing Can Substitute You
Some find it painful at first to accept their shortcomings. Yet it is a joyful release of hope and celebration as one finds the truth that he or she is so unique and that nobody can replace him or her no matter what others think of them.
Yes friend, their might be so many things not perfect about you. Yet there is nobody else like you. So celebrate life as God’s gift to you. What better return can you give for that gift than being true to your own self.
So let us stop pretending. We are not actors on a world stage. Instead we are real people with ever so many shortcomings. Each one of us is having infinite value and worth in God’s eyes even though we appear to be of so little worth to others. That is the truth.
And there comes a moment when that truth dawns. This experience is liberating to say the least as far as a speaker is concerned. For the greatest asset a speaker brings on stage is he or she himself. No other visual aid can ever substitute you on stage.
You need not try to be extravagant in your dressing to make a statement. What comes across to the audience much more powerfully is the quiet confidence that you bring onto stage born out of the knowledge that you are making a statement as no one else can!
The Secret Is to Fall in Love
When a man and woman fall in love, the desire to communicate with each other dominates their thoughts. This is the key to being a great speaker.
When the desire to communicate is fuelled by a relevant message you are able to connect with your audience. At this point, your focus is not on fear about speaking; but on how to make yourself understood to the audience.
That brings us to falling in love once again. The moment that happens you want to express your love. It can take the form of gifts,flowers, cards or chocolates. All that means just one thing: “I love you.” That is the big idea, the key thought, and the overriding emotion.
But the fun is that you are thinking about yourself. All your thoughts are on your loved one. This is what should dominate a speaker’s mind–to make the audience understand what he has got to communicate. That is the desire to communicate. When that happens it is goodbye to stage fright and extraordinary delight in speaking!
Starting Trouble
“The human brain is a wonderful organ. It starts to work as soon as you are born and doesn’t stop until you get up to deliver a speech.” When the brain freezes, a beginner-speaker can panic at this point. However hard he tries, he might not get anything to speak on.
But what is the real problem that haunts a person when he tries to find a topic? Is it really that he does not have enough knowledge about something the problem? I don’t think so. The problem is something different. It is a nagging feel of the mind that tells the speaker that what he speaks about might be uninteresting to the audience.
This thought is simply untrue. Anything about you can be made interesting. Your biographical sketch can be interesting; provided it does not boast about “I did this,” and “I did that,” and provided that it does not go for a chronological listing of academic achievements. Instead if you briefly mention some aspect of your academic side that the audience can listen to with delight, then you would succeed.
Likewise, your favourite hobby, ambition, likes and dislikes, relationships, the game you love,movies that you like, are all subjects that can be made into interesting speeches. So next time someone invites you to speak, do not think of complex subjects and panic. Instead think on simple things and speak. For simplicity always appeals. It hides greatness within!
You need not try to take a detailed account of every mistake you make while you speak. Instead take some time to recollect some portion of your speech you had done well. And think of how to excel that performance.
For it is in pushing beyond your best past performances and rising above your limitations that true test of character is found. Such efforts involve most certainly the possibility of failure and more surely the ridicule of lesser mortals.
Your opportunity is now. It is yours when the wind is against you and strongest; and the night at its darkest. With trust in God and with commitment to finish strong, it is surely time to wake up from despair and make your speech and life count.
Organizing Content
If you organize your speech well, then it is easy for the audience to pick out the information you offer. You make listening easy by dividing your content into manageable packets. There are many popular methods to do so. Categorical and chronological arrangements are two such.
Many more ways of organizing content of your speech can be thought of. But the important thing to remember is that you need to cut the big cake to small pieces. And then offer them to your listeners so that they can have one piece at a time.
I Remember It Like Yesterday
The rule of thumb is to describe less but suggest more when you narrate your experiences. Then the audience will listen keenly to your speech and be more involved in it than otherwise. Memories do make speeches colourful.
Yet many of us forget to build a memory bank. Let not your hurts, nor your failures, nor your doubts, nor betrayals that you faced in life take away from you the zest for living. Yes, full participation in life; in its good, gives you great memories.
Then your speech will be spiced with them. And you’ll have an appreciative audience every time you speak.
“What will others think about me?” This is a thought that terrifies many people especially as they get on stage to give a speech. A speaker cannot avoid facing criticism. In fact no one who attempts to do something escapes criticism.
Words of criticism cut sharply and they hurt for a lifetime. It will come in some form or the other. There is no stopping it; any attempt to contain it is like trying to grasp oil with the hand. Though we cannot control criticism levelled against us, how we respond to it is entirely our choice.
Several options are available. Instead of withdrawing or reacting angrily, there is a better option. It is reacting creatively and positively to pain.
This is exactly what an oyster does when a grain of sand gets injected into its body creating terrible pain. It then secretes a fluid and covers that grain of sand. That is how a lovely pearl is made over the years. The oyster’s positive and creative reaction to pain creates something of exquisite beauty and enduring value.
So can your right response to criticism do for you. Always remember, “It is the wounded oyster that mends its shell with pearl.”
Now let us take a look at the Seven Points that will help you face criticism that is levelled against you:
#2. Understand that your value in life is not primarily based on your performance; but in the fact that you are created in the image and likeness of God. There is no one else like you; never was; never will be.
#3. Never lose sight of your goal. Keep travelling hopefully towards it however slow or difficult the progress seems to be. Do not stop to answer every criticism levelled against you. As the proverb says, “The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.”
#4. When the emotions, pain and hurt of biting criticism wears out after a few days, try to evaluate whether there is some truth in what your critics said. If there is a need to correct or change; have the humility to acknowledge your wrong and show the courage to change.
#5. Never play the blame game. Be willing to accept responsibility even if the criticism levelled is against one of your team members.
#6. Often it is our self-righteous attitude (the thought that I am always right and everyone else is wrong attitude) that hurts us when others criticize us. Learn to esteem others and be willing to learn from them.
#7. It is when you believe in your dreams and really go for it that others try to pull you down. It is not a matter of enmity but the fact is that there is a vast majority out there who do not believe that dreams can be achieved. Do not make their problems yours; let it be theirs alone. You go and do what you do best in life.
To conclude, let me remind you once again that there is value in criticism. It shows that there is growth, movement, and progress in your life and attempts. As it is said, “Dog’s don’t bark at parked cars.” Or its variant, “I’ve never seen any dog chase a parked car.” So also people only criticize when you attempt to do things in life.
So criticism is a proof that you are attempting to do something worthwhile. So don’t lose sleep over “What will others think about me?”
First and foremost in the culinary art is tradition. There are recipes that have been handed down generations in the family. They not only remind us of a nostalgic past but also the bonds of family and community at large.
The traditional Sadhya of Malayalis with its fine blend of colours and tastes, sweet, sour, and spicy combinations and rice served on green plantain leaves have conquered not only the native palate but the hearts of westerners as well.
The serving of Sadhya during the harvest festival of Onam is very much a part of the tourism package of God’s own country too.
Secondly, the taste of food is not only expertize but also the love with which it is served. We might not remember the specific dishes our mothers cooked for us but we remember the love with which it was served; don’t we?
A homely meal thus becomes superior to even that of dining out at the stand-out makeshift eateries called “thattukadas.” A dinner with all members of family around the table at home was once upon a time a rich tradition in our culture.
Sadly it is now a forgotten memory with other priorities and distractions including time spend on mobile screens stealing away what is to be cherished, valued and held dear to the heart.
Thirdly, food is also a visual delight. Sometimes it is the appearance of the food that tempts and tantalizes us.
In Kerala, the plain white round steaming idli with hot brownish sambar for breakfast can make any mouth water. Or for that matter chicken fried rice strewn with green beans and orange-reddish carrots cut in small pieces is something that makes you want to eat it.
Chefs not only cook tasty food but also make it a point to present them presentably. They call it garnishing. It is a fine art and part of the appeal of good food is the way it is arranged neatly and with an aesthetic sense.
Finally, food nourishes. We all need good nutritious food. In an age and time when fast food and canned food rule the world, with junk food conquering foodie taste buds; if we can return to the organic–to nature’s fruits and vegetables and cereals that are produced in seasons appropriate to it, life can be healthier and better.
To conclude, more than the exotic names of food items that fascinate the hearts of the youth and the advocates of pop culture across the world, the touch of the cold sundae on the tongue on a hot summer’s day is a special delight even as the drops of dew gather outside the tulip-shaped glass slide down!
Short Speeches of Introduction, Welcome, Felicitation, Vote of Thanks!
The Story of a Breakfast by the Sea
One of the moving moments in the life of Jesus Christ happened after his resurrection. A discouraged band of 7 of his disciples go fishing in the Sea of Galilee. The experienced fishermen caught nothing that night.
From the shore Jesus told the men to cast their net on the right side of the boat. Though they did not realize it was Jesus, they obeyed and caught a large number of fish.
Soon they realize that it is the Lord and as they reach the shore they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread. Jesus invited them,
There is no human heart that does not resonate with the hope that was so gloriously splashed out on the broad canvas as in Rev. Martin Luther King’s speech “I have a dream!”
# I Have a Dream
Those were words that were not in the original script; but towards the end of the speech, King realizing that the moment was now just let go the pent up emotions in that phrase “I have a dream” which has since then found a firm footing in the hearts and minds of millions who thirst for freedom worldwide.
The spontaneity with which King improvised setting aside the pre-written speech was inspired by the occasion where 2, 50, 000 people had gathered at Lincoln Memorial, Washington on 28th August 1963.
# Prophetic Voices as the Basis of the Dream
Towards the climatic end of the speech, Rev. Martin Luther King, a Minister (Pastor) of a Baptist church, took on a prophet’s role as he with great faith and belief quoted from Prophets Amos and Isaiah in the Bible saying that they will not be satisfied till justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream1:
“And I have a dream today. I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.”2
# The Hope of the Dream It was a dream that would not yield to the difficulties and frustrations of the present moment but look forward with hope to a better tomorrow.
It was a dream that trusted in the genuineness of the conduct of one’s character and refused to be side-lined because of the colour of one’s skin.
It was a dream of transformation when he hoped that a situation where little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls and walk together as sisters and brothers will arise.
It was dream of a symphony of togetherness; a faith that people will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that they will be free one day.
It was a dream that one day true freedom will ring out from all corners and every mountainside from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city; a day when all of God’s children will be able to join hands and sing with a new meaning in the words of the old Negro spiritual, “Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!”
# The Legacy of the Dream
The dream of Martin Luther King lives on. Though the rise of evil threatens the peaceful co-existence of mankind; love, faith, truth and hope shall conquer one day.
It inspires us to be true to our convictions and to think and dream big. When we do so its impact will be for generations to come and blessings shall flow in ever-widening streams whose influence will touch more than we have ever dreamed of.
Comment: In the Penguin edtion of 20th century speeches,
the editor wrote about Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream” speech
thus:
“Now, standing before the marchers, King rose to the drama of the occasion, and delivered one of the most memorable speeches of the century. No public figure of his generation could match the skill with which he made a mastery of the spoken word the servant of his cause.”
Negotiations begin early in life. Children negotiate with each other to gain possession of their favourite toys. Customers negotiate to get the best buy in sales showrooms and shopping malls. Often marriages are arranged after a series of negotiations. Life, it seems, involves more of negotiation than we have dreamed of. If that is true, then let us look at a few things that make a good negotiator:
A good negotiator plans and prepares for negotiations. He should process all available information. He should also learn to anticipate new elements and power plays that might come into play at a later stage in the negotiation process.
A good negotiator always keeps long-range goals in mind. He operates on the basis of mutual trust and respect. He recognizes genuine needs of the other party. So he tries his best to satisfy them even as he gets his point across.
A good negotiator is never afraid to ask. He is not deterred by “No” answers and closed doors. He knocks again, surfaces objections and clarifies doubts. He seeks to reopen bridges of communication. To re-establish dialogue is his highest priority when negotiations are deadlocked.
A good negotiator learns to have an intuitive sense for knowing the best deal. He has an ability to recognize when the other party is holding back or when he has offered the best deal possible. He knows when to concede and how to close without squeezing the other party too tight.
A good negotiator knows that negotiation is not an end in itself but a process. He is aware that both parties are answerable and accountable. Therefore he tries to make negotiations a winning process. It succeeds when both parties are able to carry back satisfactory answers without erosion of mutual trust and respect.
A good negotiator has to be flexible. He should be sure of what he can negotiate about and what he cannot (non-negotiables). When both parties want to have a positive outcome (especially true with relationships), things quickly fall in place. When long-range goals are kept in mind negotiations produce better results than predicted.
A good negotiator is never in a hurry to close a deal. He is a master of the waiting game. But like a cat playing with a mouse (Tom and Jerry), he knows when to go in for the kill. It is all a matter of knowing the right moment. By no means are these thoughts exhaustive. But still it is always good to remember fundamentals.
Above all, remember it is people you are dealing with. They too have dreams, ambitions, aspirations, fear of rejection and failure, and the fear of making mistakes and appearing stupid at the end of the day.
If you can be compassionate even when appearing to be unyielding and tough; you can be a good negotiator. And as a leader, you can not only strike deals, influence people and rally up a team with united purpose behind you but also keep relationships growing. Isn’t that awesome?
