Did You Say Married Men and Women Are Not Different the Way they Communicate?

It is fascinating to note how differently males and females communicate. On the other hand, it is perplexing to those who have not realized the difference.

While men are task-oriented and tend to communicate in “getting things done” style; women tend to speak on a broad range weaving emotions into the talk. Men do not try to build a relationship in talk. But most women try to do so.


Men try to close their talk by finding some kind of solution to ideas or problems discussed much like closing a sale. Whereas women tend to keep their conversations open ended so as to continue the relationship-building process.

Men can generally speak without much emotional attachments while women tend to feel for what they speak.

For example, while disposing off articles which have been for years resting inside an old wooden box, the husband might say, “Throw it away.” The wife might respond, “Hey, that ribbon is what my grandmother had when she was a child. It was treasured by my mother and I don’t want to lose it.”

The logic of the man says that it is not of use anymore. While the sentiments of the woman want to cherish the memories and values associated with it.

It is not ideal for a wife to confront the husband at the door of the house, when he comes back from work, with the heavy load of problems she encountered that day. Instead allow him to relax, have a cup of coffee and attend to his little needs. This creates an atmosphere where he feels comfortable to ask you, “So, how was your day?”

Do not start your response with the problems. If you make it a habit of starting your conversations with a problem faced, your husband will soon think of not speaking at all. Instead start with at least one good thing you experienced that day. Then slowly bridge to the problem you faced.

Likewise it is not ideal for the husband to try to communicate after having spend much time reading the newspaper, watching TV, and chatting with friends over phone while the wife was busy with taking care of children, washing the dishes and cooking.

If the husband attempts to talk after disregarding her tasks, the wife will find it difficult to digest the fact that her husband is only interested in unloading his problems. It is far better to speak after helping out your wife in her work. It fosters a spirit of good will and keeps communication channels open.

Let me sign off saying that conflicts in marriage are not uncommon. View them as creative opportunities to celebrate your differences and stay together.


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