Some fly off the handle when they are caught in traffic jams.
Many youngsters lose their cool when they can’t connect to the internet and open their Facebook account.
Others get angry at their wives or children.
Bosses are angry with their employees.
The public are mad at those governing them and students are angry with their teachers.
The list is endless. When words spit fury at such moments; the damage it does to oneself and others is immense.
There are no easy solutions to be offered. Yet a person who becomes habitually angry might like to take a look at the following tips.
#1. The Pressure Cooker
Some people bottle up things on the inside and keep it boiling under tremendous pressure. At some weak point the whole pressure comes out with a loud blowing whistle. It jolts listeners and makes them wonder what really happened to provoke such an outburst.
The solution is simple. Have an outlet. Find a trusted friend with whom you can share on a regular basis what is irritating you. That is a safety valve.
Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control – Proverbs 25:28
#2. Accept Others
One of the surest ways to have conflict in marriage is when one tries to change the other. This simply does not work. Therefore the husband gets angry at the wife and vice versa. The surest way such conflicts can be avoided is to understand and accept your husband/wife as a person with shortcomings. And love him/her anyway in spite of all faults.
If there is a habit of your husband/wife that is irritating you and provoking you to anger; gently, lovingly point it out. There is no guarantee that your spouse is going to change; but still it might help. It can be things like throwing the dress to a corner of the room rather than putting it inside the laundry box. Perhaps instead of shouting at your spouse, you can do it yourself!
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails – St. Paul (1 Corinthians 13:4–8).
Many people get angry because they think that they are right all the time; and whatever others say is wrong. It is ego at its worst. When combined with pride it becomes destructive.
If you honestly admit, you’ll be able to say that a major percentage of outburst of anger from your part happened because you had the “I am right” attitude. Why not think there are other people who could be right. And be humble enough to admit the fact that you might not know everything under the sun.
Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools. (Ecclesiastes 7:9)
#4. Don’t React Quickly
Sometimes there is a genuine reason why you became angry. But it is good to give yourself time to think. Take a walk and get alone for some time. Do not allow your emotions to do the talking. Think through the problem. And speak (or write) to those concerned after you calm down.
Such a time gap would clarify issues and you’ll be able to deal with the core issue rather than lose yourself in lesser and unimportant issues that can take the power out of your communication.
Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. (James 1:19)
“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. — St. Paul (Ephesians 4:26)
All Scripture quotes from the Bible, New International Version.