A Short Speech on 3 Sure Ways How People Fail!

Hi Friends,

There is a lot of talk about how to achieve success out there; isn’t it? Such talks inspire and motivate us.

But then why do people fail to succeed consistently?
Why is it that only a few find success while for a vast majority success remains in the wish list always?

There are surely answers to these questions? Yes, as surely as there is life and death, there are principles of success and there are patterns, behaviours and habits that lead to failure. In this short speech, let me try to point out some ways that lead to failure.

If you ask me which is the most important reason why people fail; I can confidently say that it is their inability to say NO when confronted with a wrong choice. In other words such people try to please everybody. They are dominated by “What will others think about me?” thinking.

The failure to say NO with boldness the first time they get a chance to do so is the road that takes many through pain and bitterness and sorrow even though the entry to it was often through the gateway of pleasure.

The second major cause of failure in the modern world is the inability to say NO to distractions. We live in a noisy world with a lot of voices and sounds everywhere. You cannot walk through the street without being visually attracted to all the colours and brightly lit adverts everywhere. But these are nothing compared to the distractions that come to us through gadgets especially mobile phones and through social media like WhatsApp and Facebook.

The trouble with distractions is that they come in good packets which makes it difficult for you to resist. My friends, distractions take your eyes off your goals and make you lose sharp focus. As far as I know, there are not many who have achieved success in life without having pursued it with a single-minded aim.

Interestingly, the next reason for failure is something that will bring a smile to your face. It is nothing other than procrastination. Let me ask you how many times have you postponed doing things you should have done? How many times did such delaying of things dishearten you when pending tasks became a little mountain?

If you wish to avoid this trap, ask two questions when confronted with tasks. Is this urgent? Is this important? Having obtained those answers tackle the hardest and toughest task first. And never leave that till tomorrow which you can do today as Sir Benjamin Franklin said.

There are many other causes for failure. Some among them are, lack of a specific aim or goal; the absence of planning and teamwork, not setting meaningful and realistic deadlines and sticking to it, the inability to persevere in the face of difficulties and setbacks, and of course not updating knowledge. Perhaps you can add many more to this list.

But I can assuredly tell you with all confidence that if you work on the three core ideas mentioned in this speech, you can reverse the trend of failure in your life. Let me repeat those important points once again.

To succeed in life,
One, learn to say NO with boldness the first time you are confronted with a wrong choice.
Two,have the courage to say NO to distractions even when they come in good packets.
And Three, say NO to laziness, instead prioritize tasks and do things promptly without postponing.

Now, let me tell you my friends, you can listen to all the motivational talks, workshops and seminars on success. But what you hear will only work for you if you follow it up with decisive decisions and action.

Thank you.
Jesus Christ of Nazareth!

Why Don’t You Fail?

If you have not failed, that means probably you succeeded in everything you did or you did not attempt to do anything at all.

The chances are that you never tried. Now why is that so? Most likely you were afraid to try because you feared to make mistakes. But then you already made the big mistake of not attempting.

What is the fear that keeps you from not trying. Isn’t it the fear of failure? Yes, it is!

What happens when you fail? The best thing that happens is that it shows you the stuff you are made of. Failures inspire you to do better next time, helps you learn from your mistakes and makes you desperate about winning. Failures can unmask your pretensions and show you your true character.

Failures also teach you humility. It teaches you that success is a process and not a destination. So there is no reality in classifying certain experiences of life as failures. What you probably call “failure” has done more to mould you into a person with strength of character than anything you achieved and termed as “success.”

So if you ask me, I prefer you to go and risk failure in something that you know to be good. The world may laugh at you. Let it do so.

But you go multiply your attempts. And when the nets come in empty after a long night’s hard work I hope and pray you will hear the voice of God saying, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch!”*

_______________________
*Jesus Christ (Luke 5:4 Bible)
Jesus Christ of Nazareth!

Help Your Teenager Open Up and Talk

Help your teenager open up and talk. Encourage him to have good friendships. Allow his/her friends to come home. Get to know them and talk to them yourself. When a child gets such support from parents it reduces a lot of peer pressure from him. If such openness is encouraged at home, they will share with you the first sign of danger when they are confronted with it. And you will have enough time to protect your child.

The key word is “understanding.” It can come only through open talk. Do not react to youngsters. Let them blow off steam. It might not be easy listening to their thunder and lightning way of talk. But know that they are not venting their anger at you! But they are trying to think through their confusion by talking out loud and in angry words. What they need is a loving touch or a hug from you rather than, “Will you shut up?”

“Shut up!” They have heard it at school. Now they are hearing it at home. When this happens they will listen to those who are willing to listen to them. Sometimes it will be people whom you don’t want your children to have company with. But when you come to know of it, it will be too late. So better let your children talk. Allow them to shout at you at home. If you can be a little bit patient and not get angry at them; soon they will come to you and ask your help. Give them a chance to do so.

More importantly, tell your children not to fear failure. Tell them that failure comes to the best of men. It is nothing to be ashamed about. Instead gift them with the courage to try again. Give them options to try something else. Try to understand their tastes. Even if it hurts your ego, know that you are doing your child a great world of good by helping him achieve his heart’s desires and goals. Someday he or she will do you proud. You will never have to regret your decision to support him or her.

Also tell them not to bend or buckle under undue criticism. But the point is that you cannot tell this to them as long as you continue to criticize them for even silly things at home. Kindly know that teenage is a confusing time; more thoroughly confusing than the time you were a teenager. So give them allowances to commit a few blunders. And when you try to understand them lovingly, it gives them a sense of self-worth. It gives them self-respect and esteem. These are things that give them courage to face criticism that comes from teachers, friends and strangers.

Go out of your way every day to find something good that your child did or said. Appreciate that. Let it be a sincere comment from your part. It can make the day for him. Never go into the silent mode to punish your children. Instead speak and resolve conflicts that crop up. Even when your children are wrong; try to find out something good in them. And tell them it was good of them to say so or do so even though the rest of what they said or did was wrong. That will lessen the pain.

Above all, tell your children that suicide is NOT an option in life. Tell them that as long as they live there is hope. Teach them the values of honest hard work, courage and perseverance. Encourage them to touch other lives with care and compassion. That will give greater meaning to their lives and give them a sense of purpose in life.

There are many reasons why students opt for suicide. To avoid such catastrophes, such miserable loss of life and life’s opportunities in the prime of youth; do your best to open communication channels within the home. Make it a habit to create an open, free and relaxed atmosphere at home at set times during a week to have discussions. And that has to start before your children reach teenage.

Teach them what the wise teacher observed long ago: “Anyone who is among the living has hope–even a live dog is better off than a dead lion” (Ecclesiastes 9:4). For he also observed, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

Yes, dear parents, it is time that you talked with your children. Open up channels of communication within your home.

Jesus Christ of Nazareth!

Open Up and Say “Yes” to Life!

Open up!

Many youngsters opt for suicide in a moment of impulse. Even though they think they have thought through every aspect of the problem; they are mistaken. If only they did open up and talk with someone they trusted especially members of family things would have been different. Precious lives can be saved if people are willing to open up and talk.

It is definitely a mistaken notion that “I have no one to care for me.”

Together! Sketch by Prasad Vignesh, BPPS Batch 68 & 140
Together! Sketch by Prasad Vignesh, BPPS Batch 68 & 140

If anyone is obsessed with such a thought and you know about it, encourage that person to open up and share with you his or her thoughts and feelings. With patience and love point out to that person that there are people who care.

Perhaps the most important thought to convey is that he or she need not fight their problems alone. There is a community of friends and loved ones to support them.

Today’s media, especially television and print media are full of glorified stories of suicide. They are too descriptive. It is influencing youngsters to think that suicide is some kind of bravado. No. It is simply cowardice. You need courage to live and fight against odds in life and come out successful. You don’t need courage to die.

Therefore let us feed our minds with good and wholesome thoughts. As St. Paul said, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8 NIV). Remember that right thoughts lead to right action.

This world will definitely be a better place if you shine your little light rather than snuff it out and leave pitch black darkness behind. For all that suicides leave behind is a deep sense of loss, unspeakable sense of the tragic, the seeming meaninglessness of wasted life and the thought that it all could have been prevented had that person just opened up his or heart to someone before it was too late.

Above all, each day brings new hope however great the darkness was during the night. You will have hope if you listen to the voice of God who speaks, “I have loved you with an everlasting love. Fear not, you are mine. Even if your mother forgets you, I will not forget you. Therefore be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged. I will never leave you nor forsake you.” There is a better hope and a better tomorrow. Your future will not be cut off. So open up and say “Yes” to life.

When darkness overwhelms you, think on Jesus’ words of life:

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” — (John 10:10 NIV)

He came to shed his blood and die that you might live and have life everlasting. If you are so much alone you have none to share your thoughts open up your heart to God who listens; pour out your deepest pain before him, and say “Yes” to life!
Jesus Christ of Nazareth!

7 Winning Steps to Get the Best Out of Your Failure

Failure is not something to be ashamed of. It is an essential part of daily living, learning and growth. It is therefore wrong to compartmentalize life into failure and success; for what we term as failure is the real ingredient and mix of success. And this is how you can get the best taste out of your failures.

#1. Thank God for all your failures in life.
Let those failures be personal, financial, in relationships, or any other; thank God for them all. This is absolutely difficult. Yet once you start praising God for your failures in life; it simply lifts the burden from your heart. Maintain this attitude of praise throughout the year. It means that you are willing like a little child to hand over to God all your broken toys and in return get the most beautiful and cherished triumph of creative work and good made out your dismal failures in life. Believe me, it works!

#2. Try to understand whether your failure was caused by external sources beyond your control.
If so, find out whether such influences can be avoided in future. Perhaps it was well-meant advice given by people, even relatives or friends, who pressurized you with general opinions but never had a clue about the ground reality you were facing. Minimize exposure to such half-baked opinions.

#3. Do not yield to a failure-complex.
Let it be true that you failed seven times attempting the same thing. What does it prove? It simply proves that your attempts did not have the quality, resources, energy, game plan, skill, or perseverance needed to succeed. That does not make you a failure. It simply makes you aware about areas that you need to work on more and more. Therefore resist every attempt by people to label you a failure. More importantly do not do it yourself.

#4. Make plans.
Not one of them might be the solution to overcoming your failure. But still make them. It will help you to see some missing link that you overlooked. It will give you insight to factors that you did not foresee before. Try to think outrageously differently than you ever did before.
Have You Hid Your Talent?

#5. Take a professional approach to failure; avoid the emotional roller coaster.
Once you give the reins of your thinking to emotions it will gallop like it please. One moment you’ll be discouraged, the other moment hopeful and then perhaps you feel like quitting and even at that point feel deceived that you did not encounter failure at all. Instead of allowing emotions to take over, try to take a sheet of paper and write down exactly what went wrong and try to pick up those things that did actually go right. Look closely, analyze, and try to repair that area that needs mending rather than leave it all to the unpredictable gallop of emotions.
7 Steps to Get Out of Inferiority Complex

#6. Try to learn from the success stories of others.
I remember how as a student I participated for inter-collegiate elocution competitions and failed many times. After such bad performances, instead of leaving the hall (where the competitions were being held) in despair, I would sit through till another 15 or 20 participants would finish speaking on the topic. Some of those speeches would be no better than what I did; but the rest were a cut above the others. By constantly listening to such good speakers, I somehow (mostly unconsciously even) picked up the tricks of the trade and started winning. And from then on it was very difficult for me to lose. Winning, in short, became a habit with me.
I Am Not Good Enough

#7. When you fail, never lower your standards.
I learned this principle from the encounter Simon Peter the expert fisherman of the Sea of Galilee had with Jesus Christ (Refer Luke’s Gospel, Chapter 5). Once Simon was washing his nets after a long night’s hard work at the sea. Jesus stepped into his empty boat and asked him to keep the boat a little away from shore. From there he taught the crowds. When he finished teaching he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water, and let down the nets for a catch.” To this Simon said, “Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.” Remember, Simon Peter was an expert fisherman. He had caught nothing after a hard night’s toil. Not only was his boat empty, but his purse was also empty that day. Yet against common sense, he obeyed the word of the Lord Jesus Christ and caught a great catch that day and all the fishermen were astonished. It led Simon Peter to worship Christ and follow him!

The point is that the catch is always in the deep; not in shallow waters. It doesn’t matter if after having worked long and hard you have caught nothing. If you listen to the voice of the Master and obey; you’ll have a great catch indeed!
Jesus Christ of Nazareth!
Failures in Their True Light

Have You Hid Your Talent?

Heard this morning a sermon at church on the man who hid the one talent he got by digging a hole in the ground (the talent was a huge sum of money). It reminded me of the lines in Thomas Gray’s famous work, “Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard”

“Full many a gem of purest ray serene,
The dark unfathomed caves of ocean bear:
Full many a flower is born to blush unseen,
And waste its sweetness on the desert air.”

Sadly, those who could become great with their talents often hide it. The reasons could be many. It can be shyness, or a sense of inferiority. More than that what I have seen in many is the “My gifts and talents are just for me to enjoy” attitude. It is important in this context to remember that our talents or gifts are not just for our own enjoyment. If we think many talents and gifts have been given to us for just expressing ourselves and then hiding it, we are missing the point entirely.

Life is not an island where you live all on your own. Instead it is the marketplace that best describes life where many come and meet and take of each other’s gifts and abilities. So display your talents not to show-off but to benefit those who are the spectators. Who knows the world of good you can inspire in another with that gift which is uniquely yours?

In conclusion, there is a warning note in The Parable of the Talents that Jesus Christ taught. Two servants who had used their talents and increased it by work were commended by their Master with these words, “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!” Though there was promotion, honour and rewards for those who used their talents, punishment was given to the man who hid his talent in the ground and gave some lazy excuses for not using the money given to him.

So, it is good to take a close look today at the excuses you give for not using your talent for the good of others. What are the real reasons behind them? Is it not the fear of being rejected? If so, it is high time that you step out of that fear and let your light shine brightly for others to see. Yes, “A city on a hill cannot be hidden!”
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Bible quotes (NIV): Matthew 25:21, 5:14.
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7 Steps to Get Out of Inferiority Complex

“I’ve severe inferiority complex. I would like to talk about it sometime”; so said an IT professional to me over phone a few weeks ago. I suddenly felt the pain with which he spoke.

It also reminded me of many other students I had met in my training sessions; who though putting on a brave and confident face on the outside hid a nagging problem of inferiority on the inside. At some point they too had revealed that their struggle was with inferiority complex more than anything else. Many did confess this with tears in their eyes.

Why is inferiority complex so widespread? Why does it affect people who sport a very confident face otherwise? Is there any solution to this? If so, how can one get out of this as a better person?

Honestly, no easy solutions come to mind. Each individual may have had struggles early in life which are unique to that person. A sympathetic understanding of underlying causes might help to kick-start the journey on the road to recovery and wholeness.

Yet whatever be the cause, the root of inferiority complex is lies and deception. It happens when we believe wrong and unjust estimates about ourselves. Others might pressurize us to believe these lies or we might just be deceived to believe them on our own. If you can learn to unmask these lies and deception; then you stand a greater chance to get out of inferiority complex. Indeed, it is the truth that will set you free.

#1. Know that you as a person has value in God’s eyes.
No matter how unjust the comparisons that are made about you; and how unfair that criticism that is made against you, God loves you and values you as a unique individual. You are not someone lost in the crowd; but you’re someone with great worth in God’s eyes. The Lord says: “I have loved you with an everlasting love.” Do you believe this? It is the first step on the road to recovery.

#2. Know that the glamorous and the glossy that is presented as good and perfect in the media and advertisements are mostly grossly inflated presentations.
The real world is more about failures, disappointments and despair along with occasional triumphs in the daily grind of life and dull routine. So do not measure your worth against unreal values the marketing world attractively and temptingly presents.

#3. Know that in spite of everything you can think of negatively about yourselves, there is one thing that is good about you.
Your challenge is to find that one thing and be very good at it. Make it a great strength of yours. Let it become your passport to greatness. Though weakness is common to all; it is your duty to work hard and excel in one thing you are good at. When you excel in that one thing the root of inferiority complex can be cut down.

#4. Know that the past with all its pains, hurts, failures and heartbreaks have to be forgotten.
So many people find themselves struggling with guilt and fear because they had been victimized in the past. Such experiences do take time to heal. But your cooperation is a must. You need to decide to get up from where you’re lying down. Do not be comfortable with your pain. Shut the door behind to such memories and get on with life.

#5. Know that you can learn to see the negative circumstances in your life differently.
See bad circumstances in life as the training ground where your character is made strong through the fires of difficulty. Also be thankful for the difficulties in life. The thankful attitude, if practiced constantly will give you joy and enable you to defy the downward pull of inferiority complex and rise above negative circumstances.

#6. Know that labels need not be allowed to stick permanently on you.
Once a doctor told me “My two children are introverts.” I was shocked. Because her children who had attended my training sessions had done so well in class; especially team events. So I asked her why she held the belief that her children are introverts? She told me that their school teacher had told her so. How sad that this mother so thoughtlessly parroted this in front of others in the hearing of her children. I was compelled to tell her that the teacher’s role and duty was not to label her children negatively but to help them come out of their shells. However, I told her, I was happy that her children did not believe what she or their teacher had told. So you need to recognize that negative labels don’t define you. Instead you have the power and the ability to tear off these negative labels. Why not do it now?

#7. Know that you can make a difference.
There are many people who need you. Often it is the sense of uselessness that creates inferiority complex. Get involved in building up the lives of others; especially those who have not many to encourage them to succeed. The knowledge that you put a smile on someone’s face by a kind word, gesture or deed; the realization that your help gave someone the courage to live another day; is a great healer.

In conclusion, let me tell you that inferiority complex is not a problem that is solved in a moment’s time. Sometimes it can be a lifelong battle. Those who are suffering from inferiority complex need not lose heart if the struggle seems too long drawn out. There is yet hope. Do not despise yourself. But be thankful that you can still make a positive and creative difference in the lives of others in spite of struggling with feelings of inferiority!
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