I am yet to meet a genuinely talented person who has not passed through a period of loss of confidence in his or her life or career. Certainly these dark periods of doubt have really made people stronger than before. But many are not so fortunate because they do not know how to handle periods of loss of confidence. So here a few trusted steps to handle it in your life.
#1. Share your loss of confidence with a trusted friend
A trusted friend can help you see reality which otherwise you will not be able to see. He or she, who listens to you, can help you by giving you a proper perspective on what is happening to you. What you think is a mountain of a problem will not look so huge or threatening or impossible to conquer once you have shared your difficulty with your friend. The real comfort and strength in such an exercise is that you can be yourself and not feel ashamed about your weakness or inferiority complex .
#2. Think of your best past performances
When you pass through a period of loss of confidence it is quite natural to brood on all negatives and failures that has happened to you. That is self-defeating. Instead of doing this, think of all your best past performances. If you have memorials of them like trophies, medals, videos, certificates, mementos or even a card of appreciation, take a look at them and think about all those great performances you did in the past. And go one step further. Think that you can do it again.The only difference is that you are going to do much better now than before. Believe it.
#3. Never believe that loss of confidence is a permanent condition
Some people accept loss of confidence as a permanent attachment of their lives! How sad to see people live in the belief that they will never get out of loss of confidence. Such a belief is a lie and wholly untrue! What we need to accept is the fact that for a brief passing period of life we have entered a tunnel experience where all is dark. But hold on. Light will break at the end of the tunnel. Loss of confidence therefore should be accepted as a normal part of life but never accepted as a permanent condition. In this acceptance you will find freedom!
#4. Change those things that can be changed
Certain situations in life cannot be changed. No need to waste your time thinking “What if it were like this or that?” But then there are things that can be changed. And it is absolutely necessary to do so when it is contributing to your loss of confidence. Let us take a simple example. Some people struggle with loss of confidence when they are given a new responsibility which involves expertize they do not have. So what’s the problem. Enroll for a course that will get you that expertize. Or meet with a few people who have had previous experience handling that responsibility and learn from them. These are do-able things. Therefore embrace change instead of resisting it. Yes, do not fear change.
#5. Do not rush things
Speed and mad rush have become part of our lives. The sad story is that we really forget to live because we don’t have time to stop and enjoy life. And when it comes to loss of confidence, the huge temptation is to rush things and try to get back to top gear as quickly as possible. This is going to backfire. Instead take your time. Go it slow. Stop your activity and simply do nothing for long periods. Your mind and body needs the stops rather than the notes of music at this time. And remember each person in the same situation of loss of confidence takes a different time to recoup and recover. So take your time and do not allow anyone to rush you!
#6. Go for lesser goals for the time being
There might have been a time when the big stage was your playground. But after a period of loss of confidence, just aim for the small stage. There you can perfect the basics of your craft once again. There the pressure is less as the audience will be few. Maybe some people will ask why the big fish is playing in the small pond? There is no need to answer that question. Your goal at the moment is to get back the rhythm and the passion and the enthusiasm and the effortless grace with which you did things in the past. Till you get back to your absolute best stay contented on the small stage. Your time to roar and soar is just a few days away!
7 Steps to Your Goal
#7. Trust God for a great comeback in your life
No matter what the darkness in your life;
no matter how great the loss you have faced;
no matter whether it was your irresponsibility or mistake;
no matter how long you have been out of touch with your best;
no matter who or what great odds are pitted against you;
no matter how depressed and sorrowful you are now;
know that with God nothing is impossible.
As King David rightly expressed,: “You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light” (Psalm 18:28). Yes, with God you can. Even before you stop reading this thank God for the mighty comeback he has enabled in your life. It will happen; it surely will!
The true inspire!
A final thought that we need to keep in mind is that loss of confidence is no hopeless condition. If rightly approached, such a phase in life can bring the best out of us; and can result in an outflow of creative use of our hidden potential and talents. More perhaps has been achieved by people with loss of confidence when they have trusted in the grace of God. When St. Paul prayed thrice that God will remove a thorn in his flesh (exactly what this source of his loss of confidence was no one knows), the Lord Jesus Christ told him the secret to get the better of it:
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weaknesses.”
Paul, powered by that word of confidence, became a great achiever in spite of all negatives that happened to him in life. So also we too can achieve trusting in the power of the One whose grace is sufficient in all our loss of confidence and whose power energizes us to rise and conquer in spite of all our weaknesses!